Krusty Gets Kancelled

Krusty Gets Kancelled
                                                   Written by John Swartzwelder
                                                    Directed by David Silverman

TV Guide Synopsis

``A Klown and his Friends''

Johnny Carson, Bette Midler, Luke Perry, Hugh Hefner and Red Hot Chili
Peppers come to the rescue after Krusty the Klown is . . . kanceled.
Why?  ``Gabbo,'' a multitalented dummy, (``I can do the Hully Gully; I
can imitate Vin Scully!'') takes Springfield by storm with his ``bad
widdle boy'' persona.  Even Itchy and Scratchy defect to the newcomer.
But Bart and Lisa mobilize some of Krusty's celebrity pals (although
Elizabeth Taylor passes) for an entertainment extravaganze, the
<Krusty Komeback Special>.

Title sequence

Blackboard

    {I will not charge admission to / the bathroom.}
    {I will not charge admi} at cutoff.

Lisa's solo

    Very quickly.
                       .  .  ..
                          #  N- -   b    N
               8___/// 5__4_8438754/321213568868___

    Recycled from [8F05].

Driveway

        Homer yells, ``D'oh!'' when Lisa scoots past.
        Homer yells, ``Waugh!'' when the car closes in on him.

Couch

        The family step into a trap {\it en route\/} to the couch.

        Recycled from [9[FG]11].

Quotes and scene summary

   

 Live from (polluted) Springfield Harbor, it's ``Springfield
 Squares'', with your host, Kent Brockman.  The show is, however cut
 short by a fifty-foot tidal wave.  Then follows a brief but
 arresting advertisement for ``Gabbo'', whoever that is.  The
 advertising blitz continues, and the day finally arrives at which
 Gabbo's identity will be revealed.  To great fanfare, we discover
 that Gabbo is a ventriloquist's dummy, the host of a television
 program at 4pm, directly against the Krusty the Klown Show.
   
   Bart:   That cute little character could take America by storm.
           All he needs is a hook.
   Gabbo:  [coyly] I'm a bad widdle boy.
   Bart:   Ay, Carumba!
   -- Fool me once, shame on you... ``Krusty Gets Cancelled''
   
 Gabbo performs for the audience (``I can do the Hully-Gully; I can
 imitate Vin Scully!'')

 In his dressing room, Krusty remains confident.
   
   Krusty: I've had plenty of guys come after me, and I've buried them all.
           Sea Captain.  Joey Bishop.
   Pennycandy: Don't forget the Special Olympics.
   Krusty: [wistfully] Oh, yeah...  I slaughtered the Special Olympics!
   -- ``Krusty Gets Kancelled''
   
 The ratings report is in.  Krusty lost even to the Mexican bee guy.

 Bart, Nelson and Milhouse discover new things to do with a slot car
 race track.  Then tune in for the Krusty the Klown Show.  Krusty has
 obtained a ventriloquist dummy sidekick, but its gruesome appearance
 scares the kids rather than entertains them.

 Krusty is really hurting.
   
   Krusty: All right, here's the deal.  Every time you watch my show,
           I will send you... [holds up a check] forty dollars!
   Voice:  [fine print]  Checks will not be honored.
   -- ``Krusty Gets Kancelled''
   
 Quimby addresses his constituency.
   
   Quimby: I'll admit I used the city treasury to fund the murder of my enemies.
           But as Gabbo would say, ``I'm a bad widdle boy.''
   Crowd:  Yaaaaaay!
   -- ``Krusty Gets Kancelled''
   
 The headline reads, ``Quimby Re-Elected in Landslide''.  (Second
 story: ``Two more bodies surface in Springfield Harbor.'')

 Since Itchy and Scratchy have moved to Gabbo's show, Krusty is
 reduced to showing Eastern Europe's favorite cat-and-mouse team.
 Unfortunately, the struggle of class against class and the workers'
 control of the means of production isn't quite as funny.  Krusty
 looks out to see the studio completely empty.

 [End of Act One.  Time: 5:38]

 Krusty bids farewell to his crew, now that they've been cancelled,
 but proud that at least they never had a bad show.  Well, except for
 the one with Ray Jay Johnson.

 Krusty pays a visit to Johnny Carson looking for tips on how to deal
 with leaving the world of television.  Unfortunately, Krusty didn't
 save up for a rainy day.

 Krusty auditions for a r\^ole on Melrose Place.  He doesn't get the
 part.

 Krusty blows his last ten bucks at Springfield Downs.  (Now a horse
 racing track.)
   
   Gabbo:  And now it's time for another patented Gabbo Crank Call!
   Bart:   I can't believe it.  He stole this bit from Krusty!
   Lisa:   Yeah, well, Krusty stole it from Steve Allen.
   -- Is there anything that <isn't> stolen from Steve Allen?
      ``Krusty Gets Kancelled''
   
 The victim is Krusty the Klown.  ``Is this the call back from that
 porno film?''  Gabbo pretends to be representing a Japanese camera
 company looking for a spokesman.  Krusty eagerly accepts (in a bad
 Chinese accent).  After putting Krusty through more abuse, the joke
 is revealed.
   
   If this is anyone other than Steve Allen, you're stealing my bit!
   -- Krusty the ex-Klown, ``Krusty Gets Kancelled''
   
   Bart:   Somebody ought to ruin Gabbo's career the way he ruined Krusty's.
   Lisa:   Two wrongs don't make a right, Bart.
   Bart:   Yes they do.
   Lisa:   No they don't.
   Bart:   Yes they do!
   Lisa:   No they don't!
   Bart:   Yes they do!!
   Lisa:   Daaaad!
   Homer:  Two wrongs make a right, Lisa.
   -- ``Krusty Gets Kancelled''
   
 At KBBL studios, the Gabbo show cuts to a commercial.  After the
 cameras are off, Gabbo mutters, ``That ought to hold the SOB's.''
 Bart slips into the studio and distracts the cameraman.  During the
 diversion, Bart turns on the camera in time to catch Gabbo repeat
 himself, ``All the kids in Springfield are SOB's.''

 Gabbo's Gaffe makes the news.  Brockman concludes his report and,
 thinking the camera is off, mutters, ``That ought to hold the
 SOB's.''

 Headlines:  ``Gabbo still #1 in Springfield.''
 Second story:  ``Brockman fired.''

 Bart and Lisa are shocked to see a tattered Krusty holding a
 cardboard sign which reads, ``Will drop pants for food.''  What's
 worse, there's an old man doing it for free a few meters down the
 sidewalk.  Krusty takes the kids to his shabby apartment.
   
   Thirty-five years in television and already nobody remembers me.
   Just like what's-his-face.
   -- Krusty the Klown, ``Krusty Gets Kancelled''
   
 Bart and Lisa are inspired by the photos of Krusty with famous
 people.
   
   Bart:   I didn't know you knew Luke Perry.
   Krusty: Pfft.  Know him?  He's my worthless half-brother.
   Lisa:   He's a big TV star.
   Krusty: Yeah.  [scoffing]  On FOX.
   -- Does Rabbi Krustofsky know?  ``Krusty Gets Kancelled''
   
 (Note the darts embedded in the photo of Luke Perry.)  Lisa suggests
 Krusty enlist the aid of these famous people to get his career back
 on track.  Thus inspired, he gives Bart and Lisa his address book
 and sends them on their task.  He then turns on the television, to
 see that the crazy old man with his pants by his ankles is now the
 star of his own television program.

 [End of Act Two.  Time: 10:40]

 Bart and Lisa find Bette Midler picking up litter along the highway,
 a sign proclaiming, ``Litter removal next 2 miles courtesy of Bette
 Midler.''  When Snake tosses an empty beer can by the side of the
 road, she chases him down (I am not making this up) and throws the
 can back into the truck, sending the vehicle skidding off the road.
 Bette agrees to appear on Krusty's Comeback Special.  Another driver
 litters the roadway, and Bette dutifully dispatches the offender.

 Bart visits Hugh Hefner at his Shelbyville mansion.

 Moe invited the Red Hot Chili Peppers to perform at the Tavern under
 false pretenses.  They are not pleased.  They quickly accept Bart's
 request for them to appear on Krusty's show.  Bart distracts Moe
 (``Hey, Moe.  look over there!''  ``What?  What am I looking at?'')
 thus letting the singers escape.

 Elizabeth Taylor is pleased that her agent told Bart and Lisa to
 buzz off.

 Bart and Lisa return to Krusty's apartment to find a huge, bloated
 sack of protoplasm on the floor.  To get himself into shape, he
 drank nothing but milkshakes.  ``You mean those diet milkshakes?''
 Krusty merely answers, ``Uh-oh...''

 Homer prepares the couch for Krusty's stay at the Simpson residence.
 He tries to unfold the couch, ripping it before realizing that the
 couch doesn't convert into a bed.

 Marge and Krusty work out.  (Marge's floppy hair knocks items off
 the mantlepiece.)

 Krusty performs target practise with purple pies and Homer's face.

 Homer and Krusty spar with boxing gloves.  Krusty regains his
 enthusiasm when Gobbo appears on television.  Maggie changes the
 channel to the news, where Scott Christian reports that pork prices
 rose sharply.  This inspires Homer.

 Krusty punches a side of beef while Homer eats it.

 Krusty visits the Gulp 'n' Blow, where Sideshow Mel has since gotten
 a job, to cajole his former sidekick to rejoin him.  Mel steadfastly
 refuses.  (Meanwhile, the pimple-faced employee drops Krusty's taco
 into the fryer and tries to fish it out.)

 At KrustyLu studios, they rehearse the balloon bit.  Krusty makes a
 crude horse.  Sideshow Luke makes an elaborate nineteenth-century
 carousel.  Krusty is furious that he's been upstaged, but Luke begs
 to stay on and help in any way he can.  Krusty imagines firing Kule
 out of a cannon, face-first into a brock wall.

 Headline:  ``Krusty Special Airs Today.''
 Second story:  ``Gabbo to have `Real Boy' operation''.

 In the dressing room, Krusty asks the Red Hot Chili Peppers to tone
 down their lyrics.

 The Krusty Comeback Special begins, with Krusty singing ``Send in
 the Clowns'', joined by Sideshow Mel.  Krusty fires Super Luke out
 of a cannon.  He sails out of the studio, through the museum of
 sandpaper, through a display of acid at the Kwik-E-Mart, but landing
 safely in a pillow factory.  Seconds before it is demolished.

 The Red Hot Chili Peppers perform.

 Johnny Carson juggles an automobile.

 Hugh Hefner plays ``Peter and the Wolf'' on wine glasses.

 Liz Taylor is proud she isn't on the show.

 Bette Midler sings, and Krusty joins her.  (Just like Johnny's last
 show.)

 Afterwards, Moe's Tavern is filled with revelers.  Hugh Hefner
 scores `Cold Fish' on the Love Tester.  Johnny reminds Krusty how
 important it is to save his money.  (Just as Krusty's ruby-studded
 clown nose is delivered.)  The Red Hot Chili Peppers arrive, still
 in their underwear.  Moe tries to throw them out, but Wiggum and
 Hibbert (also in their underwear) tell Moe to get with the times.
   
   Krusty: I don't know how to thank you kids.
   Bart:   That's all right, Krusty.
   Lisa:   We're getting fifty percent of the T-shirt sales.
   -- The money is in the merchandising, ``Krusty Gets Kancelled''
   
 Bart proposes a toast.  ``To Krusty, the greatest entertainer in
 the world.  Except for that guy.''  Bart points to Johnny Carson,
 tap-dancing and playing the accordion while balancing a board on
 his head atop which sit Grampa and Jasper.  He plays ``Good Night
 Ladies'', then the Simpsons theme.

 [End of Act Three.  20:44]
   

Voice Credits

Starring

    Dan Castellaneta        (Homer, Krusty, Grampa, teenage kid,
                             Scott Christian, Mayor Quimby, Gabbo)
    Julie Kavner            (Marge)
    Nancy Cartwright        (Bart, Nelson)
    Yeardley Smith          (Lisa)
    Hank Azaria             (Gabbo's Japanese voice, Chief Wiggum)
    \:    and
    Harry Shearer           (Kent Brockman, Rev. Lovejoy, Dr. Hibbert)

Special Guest Voice

    Johnny Carson           (himself)

Special Guest Voice

    Hugh Hefner             (himself)

Special Guest Voice

    Bette Midler            (herself)

Special Guest Voice

    Luke Perry              (himself)

Special Guest Voice

    Red Hot Chili Peppers   (themselves)
    Anthony Kiedis
    Flea
    Chad Smith
    Arik Marshall

Special Guest Voice

    Elizabeth Taylor        (herself)

Special Guest Voice

    Marcia Wallace          (?)

Special Guest Voice

    Barry White             (himself)

Also Starring

    Pamela Hayden           (Milhouse)

Reviews

Yours truly @{rjc}: Someday, we may actually have an episode with a
plot.

Didja notice...

    ... the faux skyline of Springfield behind Krusty's desk?
        Note the ``Springfield'' (cf. Hollywood) sign on the hill.

Movie (and other) References

   + Oh no, not that urban legend!  (That'd be the butt, Bob.)
   + Super Dave Osborne

Freeze Frame Fun

The Springfield Squares

    . Reading from left to right, top to bottom...
    * [The Capital City] Goofball
    * Princess Kashmir
    * Barry White
    * Rainier Wolfcastle [better known as ``McBain'']
    * Lurleen Lumpkin [in the center square]
    * Troy McClure
    * Wally Cox
    * ?
    * Charlie [unclear]

Animation and continuity goofs

Comments and other observations

References from the obvious to the obscure

Previous episodes

Ray Jay Johnson

Around 1978, a major beer company (which usually employes washed-up former
althletes) inexplicably achieved great success with the annoying voice
of ``You can call me Ray, or you can call me Jay'' Johnson.  ``That
thing was funny for about three seconds.''

Note that Krusty counts the Ray Jay Johnson episode as worse than
the one crashed by S.N.U.H., or the one during which he suffered his
heart attack.

Vin Scully

Vin Scully is a veteran baseball announcer.

Scott Christian's news report

Apparently, Channel 6 decided to replace Krusty's program with the
early afternoon news report.

Distribution notice and Acknowledgments

Blah blah.