[4F10] Mountain of Madness
Mountain of Madness Written by John Swartzwelder
Directed by Mark Kirkland
==============================================================================
Production code: 4F10 Original Airdate on FOX: 02-Feb-97
Capsule revision A, 07-Jun-97
"TV Guide" Synopsis {gb}
On a company mountain retreat, hiking partners Homer and Mr. Burns
are the first to reach the rendezvous cabin -- where they're trapped
by an avalanche.
Title sequence
Couch :- Grampa is sleeping on the foldout sofa, and only manages
to utter a "huh?" before the family folds back the sofa
over him. They sit, as if nothing happened.
Did you notice...
... Mr. Burns remembers who Homer and his family is without the
assistance of cards?
... Zutroy (from 1F07) is still working at SNPP?
... for the first time in a while (or perhaps ever), there have been
no supporting voices on the show?
Dale G. Abersold:
... Burns's Pasty-Faced Lawyer is at the mountain retreat?
... SNPP has an odd number of employees?
[I'd say even, since Burns isn't an employee --ed]
... Lisa wears her mittens inside?
... it's fortunate that it's Marge on the chairlift? After all, she
does know how to weld (remember [1F22])?
... Burns is lying when he said the last three avalanches were
Homer's fault? (the last one was his fault).
... Teddy Roosevelt is carrying a big stick? (Get it?)
Frederic Briere:
... despite how much Homer cared for his cowboy picture, he loses it
while escaping from the plant?
Vince Chan:
... the minute hand on the grandfather clock never moves, only the
hour hand does?
... there is no avalanche during Homer and Mr. Burns' argument?
James R. Curry:
... Maggie's face moves, as if to say "Yankee's"?
... apparently, the other employee's managed to park their cars
neatly on the ice?
... Lisa ignores Bart's attempt to fling snow at her?
... Mr. Burns seems unusualy strong?
... Mr. Burns knows morse code?
Joshua Fruhlinger:
... the Forest Service keeps champagne in its lookout cabins?
(Moderately priced, I'll bet.)
Greg Galon:
... when Lenny falls into the hole, we never hear his bottle break?
Don Del Grande:
... in the couch opening, somebody (Grampa) makes a sound, something
rare in couch openings?
... in the couch opening, when the couch is folded, the cushions are
in place?
... in Homer's photo of Lisa and Marge, Lisa isn't smiling but Marge
is?
... at the dinner table, Maggie just stares at her spoon?
... some of the names in the hat are first names and some are last
names?
... nobody comes up with the idea of everybody except Burns and Homer
teaming up and all getting to the cabin first (hopefully killing
two birds with one stone)?
... when Burns sends his telegraph message, he alternates "S" and
"O"; maybe somebody would have thought things were "so-so"?
... Homer and Burns step onto the snow without wearing shoes, but
neither appeared to feel anything?
... Burns says "the last team to make it to the cabin would be
fired", yet Carl (Lenny's teammate) isn't fired?
Jason Hancock:
... none of the kernels in Carl's microwave popcorn bag popped?
... there are half-eaten doughnuts by the microwave and by the hot
cocoa machine?
... the cobwebs on the Samuel Morse model in the exhibit?
... the U.S. map (presumably of our national parks) in the ranger
station?
... Lenny is drinking a bottle of scotch?
Eric Hartman:
... how mad Smithers is when he sees Lisa and happy when he sees
Bart?
Diego Kontarovsky:
... OFF's car had to hit 8 cars before skidding to a stop on the ice?
... when Burns is making his speech, everyone's backpack is identical
(except for color)
... when everyone first starts up the mountain, two people dissappear
behind a tree? (Maybe they hadda go!)
... Lisa would actually believe that Bart found two identical snow
flakes?
... Smithers's foot prints go straight up the mountain and Bart's zig
zag all around?
Haynes Lee:
... a blonde female SNPP employee looks like Sparkle from [8F16]?
... Ranger McFadden looks like Smithers?
... the propane tank says "flammable"? (well d'uh!)
Ondre Lombard:
... we only see the Simpson house twice in this episode? (in the
couch scene and the scene before the competition)
... the family takes Marge's stationwagon to Mt. Useful?
... Mr. Burns says "an" before "hilarious"?
... the only teamwork displayed in this episode is Mr. Burns' and
Homer's teamwork in causing avalanches?
... the other pairs manage to find the cabin Lenny and Carl stumble
upon even though it wasn't in their maps?
... Lenny and Carl both say "Aw nuts" in this episode?
... Mr. Burns never asks Smithers if he learned anything from the
hike despite saying Smithers was included in the competition?
Benjamin Jay Robinson:
... Burns gets in at 8:00, and asks for his first cup of coffee at
11:30? (Hey, he almost made it to lunch!)
... the lavender VW bug in the lower left corner of the parking lot?
(The gray van near the bottom center of the screen may be a VW
Microbus.)
... the rocket-powered cabin nearly flattens a squirrel?
Andrius Schmid:
... Marge's over-sized earmuffs?
... nobody saw or heard Burns and Homer ascend the mountain on the
snowmobile?
Voice credits {ol}
- Starring
- Dan Castellaneta (Grampa, Homer)
- Julie Kavner (Marge)
- Nancy Cartwright (Bart)
- Yeardley Smith (Lisa)
- Hank Azaria (Carl, Lenny, Ranger, Smokey the Bear Robot, park
history film's Voice, Drunk, Ranger McFadden)
- Harry Shearer (Smithers, Mr. Burns)
Movie (and other) references
+ "At the Mountains of Madness," novella by H.P. Lovecraft {dga}
- Title
+ Green Acres
- Two of the employees paired in the race are "Haney and Drucker";
Mr Haney was the junk dealer from "Green Acres" and Sam Drucker
owned the general store.
The Bible, Ecclesiastes 9:11 {dga}
- Burns's remark about the race going to the swift
Life In Hell #300, "Lies My Older Brother and Sister Told Me"
(1986) {vc}
- Two identical snowflakes
Beetlejuice {jk}
- "It's Showtime"
Previous episode references
- Snoring Grampa in a couch gag {jrc}
- [7F07], [7F17] Grampa wakes up and mutters incoherently
- [3F01], [3F13] Grampa is asleep in his Brady Bunch square
- [4F10], [4F16] The family fold the sofa in with Grampa on it
- [7G04] Burns participates in a race {jh}
- [7G08], [7F03] Maggie's snow outfit
- [7F01] Homer gets a ride with Burns {ljs}
- [7F01], [7F15] The couch gag features the couch as a bed {jrc}
- [7F03] Homer and Burns play in the snow {ljs}
- [7F05] Burns calls Homer his "buddy"
- [7F10] Burns and Homer share a drink af champagne {ljs}
- [7F18] Smithers serves coffee to Burns {ljs}
- [8F04] A riot breaks out at SNPP during a disaster/drill {ljs}
- [8F09] Lenny is rich {ljs}
- [8F11], [1F09] Homer digs a tunnel {ljs}
- [8F13] Mr. Burns: "There's no I in team..." (cf. Mr. Burns' emphasis
on teamwork in 4F10) {ol}
- [8F19] OFF has trouble parking the car {ljs}
- [8F21] Bazooka Joe comics mentioned {mss}
- [9F07] A characters catchphrase (Barney's BURP!) sets off an avalanche
- [9F16] Artie admits he'd trade his fortune for a night with Marge (cf.
Mr. Burns: "Oh yes. But I'd trade it all for a little more")
{ol}
- [1F06] Bart has a pocket knife. {dga}
- [1F06] Lenny is fired {mss}
- [1F07] Zutroy works at the power plant
- [1F16] Lenny falls in a hole left by Mr. Burns
- [2F04] Jessica makes Bart sound a false alarm (cf. Mr. Burns sounding
a false alarm at the SNPP) {ol}
- [2F10] Homer keeps family photos in his sector {ol}
- [2F16] Burns drives Homer crazy {ljs}
- [2F16] Homer imagines ghosts that frighten him {ljs}
- [3F02] Bart tries to set Lisa up for a prank, but it fails {ol}
- [3F05] Burns supervises Homer {ljs}
- [3F07] Homer builds a snowman {ljs}
- [3F14] Burns refers to "Jumble" {dga}
- [3F14] Burns stares at Homer from across the room {hl}
- [3F14] Lenny gets drunk {ljs}
- [3F14] Smithers is replaced by Homer {ol}
- [3F19] "Horseless sleigh", c.f. "faxtrolla" {mss}
- [4F02] A vehicle is hidden behind bushes {ljs}
- [4F06] Lisa wants to save animals to an adult's dissaproval {mss}
- [4F08] SNPP's hot cocoa machine is seen again {jh}
Freeze frame fun
Burns' emergency console {hl}
o MELTDOWN
ALERT
o MAD DOG
DRILL
o BLIMP ATTACK
o FIRE DRILL
Sign at SNPP lounge {dk}
[obscured]
OWN
MESS!
Pictures at Homer's workstation {bjr}
- Homer as a cowboy, done by one of those instant old-time photo
places. The frame reads "OLDE TYME PHOTOS".
- Bart, with a baseball bat and his "lucky red hat", against a blue
wall
- Marge and Lisa, on pink background
- Maggie, waving; the picture is very tilted, perhaps she was
falling?
- The family (Bart, Marge, Maggie, Homer, and Lisa), dressed
formally; rather similar to 3F07
Sign on the way to park {hl}
MT. USEFUL
STRATEGIC
GRANITE RESERVE
Sign in cabin {hl}
CONGRATULATIONS
TEAMWORKERS
- Overseas Animation: Rough Draft {ddg}
Animation, continuity, and other goofs
- Burns' grandfather clock pendulum doesn't swing, yet the clock is
working. {ddg}
+ The clock above Burns' office door is missing. {dk}
= The "Fire Drill" is below "Blimp Attack" in the close-up shots of the
list of emergencies, but it is above "Blimp Attack" in the long
shots. {jh}
= The door handle dissappears for a moment when Homer runs out of the
plant during the fire drill. {dk}
* If Homer knew the whole thing was a trick ("I think I won, Mr.
Burns!"), why did he try to save one of those photos? {ol}
= Burns' lawyer dissappears from the back of the stage at the speech.
{dk}
- The crowd claps slower than it sounds. And also, mittens can't make
the sounds of bare hands clapping. {ol}
= Mr. Burns produces the trophy out of thin air. {ol}
= The two back packs at the end of the stage were probably meant to be
Burns' and Smithers', but Smithers' is later bright red, and Burns
doesn't even take one with him. {dk}
- Maggie's hands stuck out of her "star suit" - except when Marge was
trying to find out where Maggie's head was. {ddg}
- The snow on the branch Bart whips at Lisa forms from two little lumps
of snow to one big lump. {dk}
- The hands on Bart's watch don't remain in the same spot. {dk}
* If Maggie's star-shaped snowsuit allows her to not move, how come her
arms are sloped while they are riding the chair-lift? {ljs}
= The hinges on the cabin door switch sides after the first avalanche,
and then back. {dk}
= The windows next to the door are seen inches away on certain scenes
and feet away on others. {dk}
= The telegraph dissappears in a couple of scenes. {dk}
* Why would the Samuel Morse exhibit be alongside a dinosaur skeleton
and a mummy lying under hieroglyphics? {dk}
* Why would the banner rip because of an avalanche? {dk}
= After the avalanche, the food on the table disappears. {ol}
c After Burns says "Wouldn't you like to know" the closed captioning
has Homer talking to himself: "Burns has lost his mind; it doesn't
mean I will. I'm talking to myself. Normal people do that."
* A ruptured propane tank would have emitted a flame through all of its
openings, including the one inside the cabin (actually, considering
there was a crack along its length, the propane would have exploded),
instead of just through the part that's outside the cabin. {ddg}
= The propane tank is shown on the right wall, yet the "rocket house"
is propelled from the rear. {dk}
= When the house is gliding, its chimney is on the left, rather than on
the rear. Similarly, we should see the fireplace when Burns opens the
door.
= Where did Lenny get the whiskey at the end? {dk}
Reviews
Dale G. Abersold: When John Swartzwelder is on, he's on. This was the
straight-out funniest episode since "22 Short Films About
Springfield" [3F18]. Rather than feeding us a moral about teamwork,
this episode gave us Monty and Homer in their underwear. Add to that
the Smithers and Carl/Lenny subplots, and you have an episode
excellent in almost every way. Detract only a few points for some
moments of filler. (A-)
Jennifer M. Blaske: I got excited when I realized this was a
Schwartzwelder episode, but feel like it wasn't as good as it should
have been. As others have mentioned, there seemed to be blatant
attempts to simply "kill time" - the section where Homer and Burns
are talking slowly under the table is almost painful to watch. Homer
trying to park the car was pretty hilarious, but even that should
have been cut a couple seconds. And did I miss some sort of movie
reference or something toward the end. Homer and Burns dressing the
snowmen and sitting around in the underwear made no sense to me. And
I agree that the ending would have had more "punch" if they had froze
after one glare. (B)
Vince Chan: It was a pretty good episode, not excellent though. It
wasn't as funny as most of the episodes this season. Some parts were
better than others. All those avalanches that occured during Homer
and Mr. Burns' talk were not necessary, they could of did with only
the few during Homer's last comment and maybe one or two during other
parts of the conversation. The final seconds of the show could of
been cut off, the writers should have stopped right after the first
glare. (B-)
Chris Courtois: "Mountain of Madness" was a bit of an underachiever. It
had a lot of potential, as those corporate team building retreats are
a ripe target for OFF's brand of satire, and Burns is usually a
dependable character. But this one seemed kinda flaccid, like they
ruhsed off a first draft of the script to the animators. When the
first commercial break came I was surprised that we were already 1/3
into the show. Some jokes just ran on too long (causing an avalanche
with each word spoken; Lenny falling into the hole; every one staring
at the ranger after he announced the results of the budget cuts).
There were some good laughs, like Homer's "political powers", and the
initial budget cut gag. If this one had been tightened up, it could
have been pretty good. (C)
James R. Curry: Ugh, this episode sucks! Pity, it started off well
with the fire drill. That had me laughing. Then once the mountain
retreat started, this episode just lost it. It's saved from the bin
marked D/D- by the fire drill, and the morse code bit. But not saved
by much. The writers can do much better, as they've proved this
season. And I'll finish by saying Ugh, one last time. Ugh. (D+)
Steve Frayne: Each time I watch this episode I finish with a good
feeling about it because it was a happy ending to a humorous third
act. But it's hard to sit down to watch it again because of the
disasterous first act, and to a lesser extent the first half of the
second act. For that matter the whole episode seemed forced, almost
like they came up with a good situation, and then stopped the
creativity right there. The whole concept of teamwork got lost or at
least took a back seat when they were stuck in the cabin. All those
stupid avalanches got a little tiring too. (D)
Joshua Fruhlinger: This show spent far too much time setting up this
week's "zany situation." I've always felt that the Simpson's
strengths are in the random throw-away gags, rather than the
plot-specific ones. Through about the two thirds, the ep. was in D
territory for me; but it really took off when Homer and Burns ended
up trapped in the cabin. Best moments: the sitting scene, Homer and
Burns' simultaneous and very solemn decision to put their clothes on
the snowmen, and the two hallucinatory armies ("I have powers...
political powers."), and the "corpse handling gloves." (C+)
Jason Hancock: This was just another average, run-of-the-mill episode
for me. There were several good parts, like Smithers finding out
that he was his own partner. But the beginning of the third act was
slow, and several scenes seemed to act as fillers that should be cut
in syndication next year. (C+)
Ryan Johnson: Did Homer really have to open the door twice? Where were
"The Shining" references? There are hundreds of realistic endings,
but why did the writers choose a rocket cabin? Just one of the many
questions left by this patchwork plot. The random gags didn't help
either. (D)
Diego Kontarovsky: A good start; the fire drill cracked me up, but it
went (and I hope you'll pardon the bad pun) downhill from there. It
was the worst episode I have ever seen. It went slowly, and it was
extremely boring. It would've been more entertaining if the rest of
the Simpson family had stayed in Springfield, although Bart's
annoying Smithers on the way up the mountain was funny. Everyone's
character was EXTREMELY weak. No personality whatsoever. (D)
Ondre Lombard: Another clanger. I had a suspicion this plot would go
absolutely no where. Many instances where it appeared that time was
being filled senselessly, a lot of 9F22-Rake-Scene'ish scenes. What
is with the abundance of pointless jokes? Like the car on the snow,
or the film in the room Marge was staring at, the long reaction to
the Ranger's statement about no entertainment, the tragic music after
Mr. Burns says "Wouldn't you like to know"? I don't get the
references or what the point in these jokes are suppose to be.
(Although I found the Smokey Bear joke amusing). And the end moral
of teamwork is cliche'd and out of character for Mr. Burns. I don't
know what to say about the actual "plot" besides it stank. (D-)
Werner Peeters: This was a great episode! The hilarity started already
in the first scene (the fire drill), and we've had some of that nice
old Monty B. and Waylon S. dialogues we haven't had in quite a while.
Homer, stupid as ever, brings his family onto the survival trip, and
Monty's attempts to try to persuade Homer to cheat are magnificent.
This episodes deserves A-, the - because it could have had a slight
touch more of sexual references - why didn't they show Smithers
imagining how it would be to be locked in a cabin with Mr. Burns
alone? (A-)
Mark Aaron Richey: Homer and a nice Mr. Burns getting trapped by an
avalanche together? Not the brightest plot idea in history. The fire
drill at the beginning was terrific, but once they got to the
mountain, it got silly. Even poor Smithers getting stuck with Bart
and Lisa (acting very sterotypically) didn't really work. Some nice
visual gags (Homer's and Burns's hallucinations) and that's about it.
(C-)
Benjamin Jay Robinson: This is an episode with some good moments, but
it misses more than a few good comic opportunities, and Burns is not
his nasty old self. On the whole it's an amusing but slight effort;
not a groundbreaker, but nothing to be ashamed of, either. (B-)
Matt Rose: Stupid TV...be more funny! I find myself saying that a lot
lately. I had thought this season's biggest problem with the bad
episodes was that it they wrote the plots around the jokes. Well this
week my words come back to haunt me, because this week there were few
jokes at all. A few of the slapstick gags (which seems like the
writers' humorous element of choice for it these days) got me
snickering but that was about it. And yet again Bart and Lisa are
pretty much ignored except for a few inane lines. Still, it had a few
moments, which were a few more than that horrible abomination of last
week. C'mon writers, Let's get back to the dialogue and satire that
made the show what it always was which is relatively absent most of
the time these days. (C)
Liam J. Scanlan: Well sir, this episode was funny in some ways, such as
Homer and Burns sitting in their underwear staring at each other and
Lenny and Carl enjoying their share of teamwork. It was overall, a
classic! (A+)
Andrius Schmid: One of, if not the best episode of the season. A
terrific rendition of Burns: competent, quick-witted, yet still
malevolent. Homer complements him very well. For once in a long
time, we have a completely self-contained episode, without any
dangling plot threads (this means YOU, "Twisted World of Marge").
Hopefully this type of genius will become the norm. (A+)
Marge Starbrod-Simpson: (murmur). This ep went a little fast for me,
and I couldn't find much content. However, I'm glad this wasn't a
complete relash of "Team Homer". (C+)
Yours Truly: Hmm, let's see... Lenny and Carl fight each other, Burns
and Homer trigger an avalanche, Lenny and Carl don't get along, Burns
and Homer trigger other avalanches, open door after window after
door, dig a tunnel, trigger another avalanche... I wouldn't dare to
imagine the fun of reading the script for these parts! Fortunately,
some nice jokes scattered around saved this episode, which instead of
sinking, is left drifting nowhere. (C-)
AVERAGE GRADE: C+ (2.31)
NIELSEN RATING: ? (Ranked 21th out of 112) {ol}
Comments and other observations
Only who can prevent forest fires?
Benjamin Jay Robinson: A forest fire is a park ranger's worst nightmare
-- what is a pristine national park one day can be reduced to cinders
overnight. A fire spares few if any creatures in the path. A forest
fire in the Forties left behind one lucky survivor -- a bear cub.
Named "Smokey" by the park's rangers, he became the symbol of a
national fire-prevention campaign. Smokey evolved from a real bear
to a cartoon animal complete with ranger hat and ax. His slogan was,
"Only you can prevent forest fires." Smokey was one of the most
widely recognized advertising characters as recently as the
Seventies, but appears less often nowadays.
But, how would they do against Sideshow Bob?
Benjamin Jay Robinson: The Bobsey Twins are so old I've only heard
about them second-hand. They were twins (a boy and a girl, I'm told)
who went around solving mysteries or having adventures, or both.
Given Bart and Lisa's crime-solving escapades over the years,
Smithers' comparison is actually appropriate.
Andrew Milner: They were most assuredly not a pair of twins who solved
crimes. They were two sets of twins who solved crimes, thank you very
much! The mathematical odds of a family having two sets of twins are
too high for the average mortal to comprehend...
Jonathan S. Haas: Nonsense. There's a twin birth for about every eighty
normal births. That means that if you take eighty women who've had
twins and let them try again, at least one is likely to have another
set. I'd be willing to bet that somewhere in America is a woman who's
had three sets of twins.
[I admit I disgress, but I found the point quite interesting --ed]
Watch out for my super (political) powers!
Benjamin Jay Robinson draws up a quick description of Homer's backups:
- Mao Tse Tsung: Ruthless leader of Communist China, 1949 to 1976 or
so.
- Abe Lincoln: President, 1861 to 1865.
- Theodore Roosevelt: Popular reformist President, 1901 to 1909.
- Mahatma Ghandi: Leader of India, who sought independence for his
country.
Those Eternal Threads
Where is Springfield?
Dale G. Abersold: Mt. Useful resembles many of the larger moutains in
the Pacific Northwest.
Loose Ends
Dale G. Abersold: The Ritz Brothers were a vaudeville team, definitely
not to be confused with the Marx Brothers. Their films rest today in
well-deserved obscurity.
Don Del Grande notes that Babe Ruth also played for the Red Sox, and
Dave Kathman points out that he played for the Braves in the last
year of his career (1935).
Jason Hancock: John Muir was a 19th-century environmentalist. He
founded the Sierra Club, a group dedicated to wilderness
preservation, in 1892.
Ondre Lombard: It seems Smithers has run out of patience with Mr.
Burns. Ever since Mr. Burns revealed his impotence in 3G01,
apparently Smithers isn't putting up with his abuse like he used to
(good example: 7F18).
Marge Starbrod-Simpson: Was the telegraph one of the parks budget cuts,
or was that just Burns being old-fasioned again?
Liam J. Scanlan: I wouldn't say it's a good idea to hold the festival
after avalanches occur after only normal voiced said words. Imagine
what a concert could do to the mountain.
Quotes and Scene Summary {ol}
On a sunny day at the SNPP at 8 am, Mr. Burns strolls gleefully into
his office, whistling.
Smithers: Good morning, sir. Care for some coffee?
Burns: [joyful] No, the promise of a new day is more than enough
exhilaration for me.
[time passes, and Burns gradually loses his energy]
[at 11:30, his head bangs on his desk]
Burns: [exhausted] Smithers... coffee.
-- "Mountain of Madness"
A sip is all that's needed to boost his batteries.
Burns: We need some excitement around here!
Smithers: Chinese checkers or domestic, sir?
Burns: No, no. Something fun. Something the men will enjoy...
like a safety drill! But what kind?
-- That sounds like a lot of fun indeed, "Mountain of Madness"
Burns: Meltdown alert? Mad dog drill? Blimp attack? Ah... I think a
good old-fashioned fire drill today.
[alarm goes off; most people just stare, intrigued]
Carl: All right, popcorn's ready!
[takes the bag out of the microwave and pours kernels in a bowl]
Homer: Hey... that's the fire alarm.
Carl: We gotta get out of here.
Lenny: Wait for me! [filling a cup at the cocoa machine] Come on, come
on, come on!
-- Why save your life when there's cocoa?, "Mountain of Madness"
All around the plant, it's panic and havoc. One man grabs an
extinguisher, and proceeds to hit anyone nearing him.
Homer storms into his sector and frantically tries to decide which
framed picture on his panel he should rescue. Out of all the family
photos, he chooses a black and white of himself dressed like a cowboy.
Mr. Burns and Smithers stand outside the plant, waiting for Burns'
victims to evacuate.
Burns: Is it supposed to take this long? What's a good time for a
mass evacuation of the entire plant?
Smithers: Forty five seconds.
Burns: And what's our time so far?
Smithers: I don't know, sir. This stopwatch only goes up to fifteen
minutes.
Burns: Damnation! What kind of slow coaches do I have working for
me?
[Homer runs out the door]
-- Does that answer your question?, "Mountain of Madness"
Homer shuts the door and secures it with a bench, before he runs,
panting, to his boss.
Homer: I think I won, Mr. Burns.
Burns: Yes. [hauntingly] You won, all right. You won more than you
bargained for.
Homer: Woo-hoo!
-- "Mountain of Madness"
Mr. Burns scolds his employees (who finally made an escape, albeit
messily) for showing a lack of teamwork. Lenny and Carl get into a
fistfight, proving his point. The crowd cheers the fight, but Mr.
Burns shows disappointment.
At the dinnertable, Homer explains the day's events.
Homer: So, Mr. Burns is gonna make us all go on a stupid corporate
retreat up in the mountains to learn about teamwork.
Which means we'll have to cancel our plans to hang around
here.
Bart: Teamwork is overrated.
Homer: Huh?
Bart: Think about it. I mean, what team was Babe Ruth on? Who
knows.
Lisa+Marge: Yankees.
Bart: Sharing is a bunch of bull, too. And helping others. And
what's all this crap I've been hearing about tolerance?
Homer: Hmm. Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to
subscribe to your newsletter.
-- Bartweek Monthly, "Mountain of Madness"
Nevertheless, the family will have to attend to the retreat.
At a snow-covered Mt. Useful, the family tries to park the
stationwagon, but it only succeeds in slipping around on the ice,
bumping into cars. Homer finally decides to park it somewhere in the
proximity of their intended parking space.
Mr. Burns hosts the event, preparing his employess for what will be
"the most arduous and back-breaking weekend of their life." At that
point, he notices Homer has brought his family, which he was not
supposed to do. At any rate, since it's too late to take them back,
they'll have to stay there. The kids moan.
Marge: Don't worry, kids. This is a national park. We can have lots
of fun!
Ranger: Oh, I'm afraid that's no longer true, ma'am. Budget cutbacks
have forced us to eliminate anything the least bit entertaining.
[long pause]
Well, uh, see ya.
-- And that's just a sample, "Mountain of Madness"
Smithers: Each two-man team will work its way through the wilderness to
a cabin hidden somewhere on this mountain. The routes are
trecherous, so use your maps.
Homer: [raising hand] Uhh, I lost my map.
Smithers: You haven't been issued a map, yet.
-- Better safe than sorry, "Mountain of Madness"
Smithers: When you arrive at the cabin, there will be a congratulatory
party with sandwiches and moderately-priced champagne.
[the crowd applauds]
Burns: Now, as an added incentive, the second-to-last team to arrive
at the cabin will receive an hilarious "world's first employee
trophy."
Homer: Hey, this sounds like fun!
Burns: And the last team to arrive will be fired.
Homer: [chuckles] [realizing] Uh-oh.
-- "Mountain of Madness"
And to show that I'm not playing favorites, both Smithers and I will be
participating. Who knows? I might be the unlucky one who gets fired.
[sotto voce] Not bloody likely.
-- Mr. Burns' confidence, "Mountain of Madness"
Smithers: I've placed all your names in this hat.
Homer: Ooh!
Smithers: Thank you.
-- "Mountain of Madness"
Smithers: Now pair off as I draw your names. Lenny and... Carl.
Carl: Aw nuts! I mean, um... Aw nuts.
-- "Mountain of Madness"
Team after team, the employees are paired off. Fong and Zutroy.
Kimball and Dawson. Haney and Drucker. Simpson and... Burns?! Homer
moans, but then realizes he's on the one possible team that can't be
fired.
Smithers: Sir, this can't be right. You assured me this drawing was
rigged so we'd be teammates.
Burns: Yes, well, frankly, you've been a bit of a pill lately.
Smithers: Why do we always fight on vacation?
-- Perhaps the boathouse was indeed the time, "Mountain of Madness"
Well, there's only one name left. Whoever it is will be paired with me.
And that person is -- Waylon Smithers. Perfect. That's just perfect.
-- Smithers, "Mountain of Madness"
Mr. Burns prepares the pairs for the starting point. Upon shooting
off the gun to start the crowd, Mr. Burns sinks into the snow. "Ready,
Mr. Burns?" "One moment," Mr. Burns replies to Homer. He shoots into
the snow to bring himself out the snow. The employees' adventure
begins.
[End of Act One. Time: 5:55]
At the Mt. Useful Visitors Center, the kids are looking for something
to pass time. Bart tries a Smokey the Bear robot.
Smokey: Only who can prevent forest fires?
[Bart chooses the "You" button over the "Me"]
You pressed "you," referring to me. That is incorrect. The
correct answer is "you".
Bart: [kicks the robot] Mom, can Lisa and I play outside -- away from
the bear?
-- "Mountain of Madness"
Marge sends them out, telling them to come back when they get
apple-cheeked. After they run outside, Marge discovers she's been
holding Maggie (in her big five-pointed baggie) upside-down.
Smithers, meanwhile, is hiking up the snowy mountain, alone, cursing
Mr. Burns.
Smithers: How could you do this to me, Mr. Burns? After all I've done
for you. Why, if you were here, I'd kick you right in your
boney old behind!
["boney old behind" echoes]
Burns: Why, thank you, Simpson! I have been watching my figure.
-- Gotta keep that healthy skeletal look, "Mountain of Madness"
Bart pulls back a snow-covered leaf branch preparing to smack Lisa
with snow, calling her over to see two snowflakes that are identical.
Lisa ducks, and the launched snow pelts Smithers instead.
Lisa: Hi, Mr. Smithers.
Smithers: Oh great. It's the Bobsey Twins. Well take your prying eyes
elsewhere.
-- Careful, you might need 'em one day to get out of jail,
"Mountain of Madness"
Smithers apologizes, claiming it's been a harsh day, and that he must
get to the cabin real soon.
Lisa: We'll help you.
Bart: I have a watch with a minute hand.
Smithers: [sighs] All right, you can come. What time is it?
Bart: 12:80. No wait. Wait. Wh-what comes after 12?
Smithers: One.
Bart: No, after twelve!
Smithers: [groan]
-- Smithers and the kids, a new sitcom idea, "Mountain of Madness"
Burns: Tell me, Simpson. If an opportunity arose for taking a small
shortcut, you wouldn't be adverse to taking it, would you?
Homer: Uhh, not as such.
Burns: Neither would I. I've always felt that there's far too much
hysteria these days about so-called cheating.
Homer: Yes, a lot of -- hysteria. [worried look]
Burns: Mm-hmm. If you can take advantage of a situation in some way,
it's your duty as an American to do it. Why should the race
always be to the swift or the jumble to the quick-witted? Should
they be allowed to win merely because of the gifts God gave them?
Well, I say cheating is the gift man gives himself!
Homer: Mr. Burns, I insist that we cheat.
Burns: Excellent.
-- "Mountain of Madness"
It just so happens that there's a conveniently placed snowmobile (or
"horseless sleigh", to put it in Burns' words) hidden behind a bush.
Homer: Wow, you sure know how to cheat, Mr. Burns.
Burns: Yes, well, I'm older than you.
Burns: You know, Simpson, you're not as objectionable as you seemed when
we first met.
Homer: No, sir, I am not.
-- The right answer, "Mountain of Madness"
Homer steps on the sleigh, which immediately sinks in the snow. Burns
turns the power on, and the two of them glide on (or rather, dig
through) the snow.
Looking around for Bart and Lisa, Marge wanders into a dark room. She
turns a switch on, and a projector starts.
Narrator: The story of our national parks begins in 1872. Perhaps we
should let John Muir tell the tale.
Muir: [as if drunk] Oh, yeah, I remember... [followed by
incomprehensible mumbling]
[Marge stares]
-- "Mountain of Madness"
Marge: Excuse me, sir? I can't find my children.
Ranger: Have you checked the woods?
Marge: No.
Ranger: Hmm. Follow me. We'll take the chair lift. It'll give us an
eagle-eye view of the area directly beneath the chair lift.
-- "Mountain of Madness"
The two of them sit on the chair lift.
Ranger: I won't lie to you. Our chances of finding your children are
slim to nil.
Lisa: [from below] Hi mom!
[Smithers and the kids are waving at Marge]
Marge: There they are! Let me down here.
Ranger: Sorry. There's no way off till we get to the top, and even then
it's sort of tricky.
Marge: [grunts] [yelling] All right, kids, we'll meet you at the top!
Just be careful!
Ranger: Uh, actually, I'm a little more concerned about us.
[one of the two rails holding the chair snaps]
Um, do you know how to weld?
-- Up the creek without a paddle, "Mountain of Madness"
Homer and Mr. Burns, in their motorized sleigh, get the the cabin
first.
Burns: We have several hours before the others arrive, let's say we get
comfy.
[turns on the fusebox] Now we have electricity.
[turns on the gas] This propane tank will supply us with heat.
And this doorknob, properly turned, will allow us access to the
cabin.
Homer: No going through the window for us!
-- Simple luxuries, "Mountain of Madness"
Meanwhile, Smithers is still ascending the mountain, leaving a
straight trail of footsteps behind him. Another trail can be seen,
zigzagging from tree to tree along his path.
Bart: Is there maple syrup in this one?
Smithers: There isn't any food in any of these trees. Please, Bart,
we've got to hurry! I can't be the last one to reach the
cabin.
Bart: Hey, I'm not gonna get fired. Is there any gold in this
mountain?
Smithers: [sputtering] It doesn't matter!
Bart: I'll check. [draws a knife, and starts digging]
Lisa: [running] Mr. Smithers! Mr. Smithers! I found another hurt
shrew. I think this one has a twisted ankle.
Smithers: [sighs] Twisted ank... [sputters] Aren't there any healthy
animals in this forest?
-- I can hear God laughing at you, "Mountain of Madness"
"I don't suppose the others will mind us starting the party early,
Homie, old boy?" justifies Mr. Burns, as he and Homer relax in chairs
with their feet kicked up on the table set with the congratulatory
banquet.
Homer: You know, Mr. Burns, you're the richest guy I know. Way richer
than Lenny.
Burns: Oh yes. But I'd trade it all for a little more.
-- "Mountain of Madness"
Homer: Oh, these sure are comfortable chairs.
Burns: Oh, yes, sitting. The great leveler. From the mightiest Pharaoh
to the lowliest peasant, who doesn't enjoy a good sit?
Homer: Oh, man, you are so right. Did you ever sit like this?
[lazily slides down, resting more of his legs on the table]
Burns: Yes, yes, that's it. Oh, I could go for one of those right now.
[does as Homer did]
The only hard part is getting up.
Homer: [chuckles] Why get up? Here's a little move I've been tinkering
with. Say I want that bowl of dip.
[said bowl is at the other end of the table]
Burns: Why, you'd have to get up.
Homer: Oh? [bangs his foot on the table]
[at each hit, the bowl bounces closer to him]
[gives the final blow] Dip! [the bowl jumps in his palm]
Burns: [admiring] Sir, I am in your debt.
Homer: Use it wisely, my friend.
-- Homer Wan Kenobi, "Mountain of Madness"
Homer and Mr. Burns toast their glasses, and the clink noise echoes
and causes a rumbling. An avalanche starts and snow begins to travel
down the mountain and cover the cabin completely.
Lenny: Hey, did you hear something?
Carl: No.
Lenny: Hmm. Did I?
Carl: [exhasperated] I don't know.
-- Teamwork at work, "Mountain of Madness"
Mr. Burns and Homer are under a table. "Hope that wasn't an
avalanche. Be a gentlemen and take a look-see." Homer agrees and
opens the door and quite a bit of snow pours into the cabin. He tries
the window. Said event happens again. "Isn't there any way out of
here?" Burns inquires. "I don't see one. Unless...!" Homer reopens
the front door, before giving up.
Mr. Burns decides to use the telegraph to send an S.O.S. The
telegraph signal only manages to reach a telegraph machine stored
inside a museum exhibit of Samuel Morse.
Just on top of them, Lenny and Carl are standing on a huge mountain of
snow.
Carl: According to the map, the cabin should be right here.
Lenny: Hey, maybe there is no cabin. Maybe it's one of them
metaphorical things.
Carl: Oh yeah, yeah... Like maybe the cabin is the place inside each
of us, created by our goodwill and teamwork.
Lenny: [in a flash of insight] Ohhh!
Nah, they said there would be sandwiches.
-- Confucianism and sandwiches, "Mountain of Madness"
Mr. Burns and Homer, meanwhile, are trying to dig a tunnel through the
snow.
Burns: Simpson, I have a confession. I'm not quite the tunnel-digger I
made myself out to be.
Homer: You can supervise me.
Burns: All right, good! Let's dig! That's right! Dig some more! Oh,
we make quite a duo -- Burns and associate. No, no, what am I
thinking? Burns and teammate.
-- Such recognition..., "Mountain of Madness"
At that point, they see the light at the end of the tunnel. Poking
their heads out, they exchange high-fours and "huzzah", enough noise
to reawaken the avalanche. They tumble down the tunnel, which is
quickly re-clogged by the snow.
[End of Act Two. Time: 14:12]
Again, Homie and Burnsie are trapped in the cabin, hiding underneath
the table.
Burns: What happened?
[snow rumbles]
Homer: I think when we yelled we caused another avalanche.
[rumble]
Burns: [whispering] We should... be... careful... not... to speak...
unless... it's... absolutely... pos-i-tively... necessary.
[violent rumbling]
Homer: Shh. [rumble] You're... causing... more... avalanches.
[rumble] I [rumble] think [rumble] they've [rumble] stopped.
[violent rumble]
Burns: Let's go.
[violent rumble]
-- Rumble rumble rumble rake scene rumble rumble, "Mountain of Madness"
They get up from underneath the table. Mr. Burns creeps slowly
towards the door, opens it, and is buried up to his chest in snow.
Teamwork suddenly goes out the window.
Burns: Those last three avalanches were your fault, Simpson.
Homer: So what?
Burns: Sew buttons!
[narrow eyes at each other]
-- "Mountain of Madness"
Lenny and Carl make it up to a cabin, and decide it has to be the
one. Inside, there's nothing there but a desk and chair, a fireplace
and a moosehead.
Lenny: Well, we made it here first. All thanks to teamwork.
Carl: Yeah, my teamwork.
-- "Mountain of Madness"
Back at the snowed-in cabin, Burns and Homer try to pass some time,
since they're not going to be found any soon.
Hmm. No books, no radio, no boardgames. Ah! A "Bazooka Joe" comic!
Ugh, I read that one seventy five years ago!
-- Believe me Monty, they haven't inproved since, "Mountain of Madness"
Homer: We could build snowmen.
Burns: No, I have a better idea! We could build real men, out of snow!
Homer: Oh. Okay...
-- A new generation of Frosty the Snowmans, "Mountain of Madness"
The other freezing campers arrive at the cabin and bundle around the
fire. Lenny tosses the moosehead into the fire to increase the flame.
Smithers, Bart and Lisa arrive at this cabin.
Lisa: Mr. Smithers, Mr. Smithers! That moose is on fire!
Smithers: Fine, good. I don't care anymore.
-- "Mountain of Madness"
Smithers sighs of relief when hearing he's not the last one to reach
the cabin, but relief turns to worry when he learns who's left out
there.
Back at the cabin (once more), Homer's done with his snowman. Next to
him, Burns contemplates his own creation.
Burns: Ah, 206 bones, 50 miles of small intestine, full pouting lips.
Why, this fellow is less a snowman... than a god.
[pan to a snowman identical to Homer's]
-- And what a god, "Mountain of Madness"
Stupidly, they decide the snowmen must be dressed and give them their
clothes. Freezing in thin blankets, they stare at their snowman
counterparts in their underwear.
Burns: Look at them. Smug and secure in their finery. Mocking us.
Homer: Uh, they're just snowmen, Mr. Burns.
Burns: Ah, snowmen have peepers. Peepers to watch. To watch for a
moment of weakness and then BAFF comes the knock in the head and
we're down!
Homer: [worriedly] What do we do??
Burns: Oh...wouldn't you like to know.
-- "Mountain of Madness"
The ranger and Marge step inside the cabin (no, the other one).
Ranger: Hey, what is going on here? Who are you people? This is a
lookout post. Where is Ranger McFadden?
Drunk: [slurred] I was just happy to see some of the nice people!
Ranger: Quiet, you drunk. Where's ranger McFadden?
McFadden: Right here, sir. Right behind the drunk.
-- "Mountain of Madness"
Smithers figures out they must be in the wrong place, and the ranger
points out to the only other cabin, which is just over... well, it
used to be where that big mount of snow is standing now. McFadden
takes a look at the sismograph.
McFadden: [whistles] Look at all these avalanches. Do you think they
could have buried the cabin?
Ranger: Well, I'll tell you one thing: they didn't come here for the
mountain music festival. March 14th to 18th.
-- Good luck when the tuba starts playing, "Mountain of Madness"
Back at the "undersnow" cabin for one last time, Mr. Burns and Homer
are sitting and staring at each other, drifting into madness and
paranoia.
Hmm. Look at his eyes. He's trying to hypnotize me, but not in the
good Las Vegas way.
-- Homer, "Mountain of Madness"
Finally, Burns suspects Homer is trying to bump him off. He grabs a a
fireplace poker and arms himself, thinking "He can't kill me if I kill
him first!"
Burns: I'll kill you, you bloated museum of trechery!
Homer: You and what army?
[imagines Nazi snowmen behind Burns]
[gasps and shakes] Stand back! I have powers! [threateningly]
Political powers!
Burns: [imagines dead world leaders behind Homer] Uuh!
-- Slightly revised history with Gandhi playing kick-boxing,
"Mountain of Madness"
Homer, Burns and their hallucenated armys go head to head. After much
fighting, Mr. Burns prepares to hit Homer with the fireplace poker but
only hits the Propane tank. Cracks develop on the rattling tank, and
the cabin is jet-launched in a rocket-like manner. Through the snow
shoots the cabin.
Meanwhile, everyone at the lookout post is preparing to rescue
airborne Mr. Burns and Homer.
Ranger: Okay, search party, before we set out, let's take a moment to
humor the children.
[to Bart and Lisa] Kids, your father's gonna be just fine!
Okay, everybody, put on your corpse-handling gloves, we've got
two frozen bodies buried somewhere in this mountain.
Bart: Did you hear that, Lis'? Dad's gonna be just fine.
-- Uh, yeah, I suppose..., "Mountain of Madness"
Lisa directs their attention to something you don't see everyday: a
flame-propelled cabin surfing down the mountain.
Oh Lord, protect this rockethouse and all who dwell within the
rockethouse.
-- Homer, "Mountain of Madness"
Smithers: It's them, all right.
Marge: We're over here, Homie!
Lenny: Oh, something's wrong with its breaks! Gangway!
-- They ain't makin' rockethouses like in the good ol' days,
"Mountain of Madness"
Everyone clears out, screaming. The tank's gas runs out and the cabin
slows and comes to a hault just a few feet away from the lookout post.
Homer greets his worried family, who swarm around him to hug him. Mr.
Burns doesn't seem too traumatized to remind everyone of the
competition, sending everyone rushing into the cabin, Lenny being the
last to show. The poor man walks away.
Burns: So, how did we do?
Smithers: [looking at his stopwatch] It's a new record, sir.
Burns: Outstanding. Well, perhaps all of this has been worthwhile.
Did you all learned about teamwork?
Everyone: [unenthusiastically] Yes.
-- "Mountain of Madness"
Outside, Lenny's standing with a liquor bottle in hand.
That old goat can't fire me! I'm gonna give him a piece of my mi...
[falls in a hole, screaming]
[thud]
Aw nuts!
-- Lenny's answer to every problem, "Mountain of Madness"
Burns: Well, Simpson, I must say, once you've been through something
like that with a person, you never want to see that person
again.
Homer: You said it, you weirdo!
[Burns and Homer laugh, then narrow their eyes at each other]
[continue to laugh ad nauseam]
[narrow their eyes at each other again]
-- "Mountain of Madness"
[End of Act Three. Time: 21:27]
Contributors
{bjr} Benjamin J. Robinson
{ddg} Don Del Grande
{dga} Dale G. Abersold
{gb} Greg Bigoni
{hl} Haynes Lee
{jh} Jason Hancock
{jk} Joe Klemm
{jrc} James R. Curry
{ljs} Liam J. Scanlan
{mss} Marge Starbrod-Simpson
{ol} Ondre Lombard
{vc} Vince Chan
Legal Mumbo Jumbo
This episode capsule is Copyright 1997 Frederic Briere. It is not to be
redistributed in a public forum without consent from its author or current
maintainer (capsules@snpp.com). All quoted material, episode summaries and
specials about people getting decapitated by vicious bears remain property of
The Simpsons, Copyright of Twentieth Century Fox. The transcript itself is
Copyright 1997 Ondre Lombard. Read the manual before plugging in.
This work is dedicated to Raymond Chen, James A. Cherry, Ricardo Lafaurie, and
all of those who made episode capsules what they are today.
Many well-deserved cheers and thanks to Dave "resourceful" Hall, who provided
me with alt.tv.simpsons archives over the past two months. This capsule
wouldn't be nearly as complete without his invaluable help.