[3F19] "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
Raging Abe Simpson and His Grumbling Grand- Written by Jonathan Collier
son in "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish" Directed by Jeffrey Lynch
=======================================================================
Production Code: 3F19 Original Airdate in N.A.: 28-Apr-96
Capsule revision C, 10-Jun-96
"TV Guide" Synopsis {sp}
Bart finds his Grampa's war stories farfetched, until Mr. Burns
tries to kill the elder Simpson to seize a treasure the two found
during the Big One as members of "Flying Hellfish" battalion.
Voices: Nancy Cartwright, Harry Shearer, Dan Castellaneta.
Opening Sequence
COUCH SCENE
OFF runs to the couch and Homer notices a stopplug; interested,
he pulls it, and sucks the entire room into the resulting hole.
(Recycled from 3F07.)
Did you notice...
... Lisa thinks Mr. Burns is Santa?
Ricardo A. Lafaurie Jr.:
... in the couch scene, the floor is orange instead of blue?
Dale Abersold:
... Milhouse's grandfather has an (unseen) new wife? (Does she
have thick glasses and blue hair? Inquiring minds want to
know)
... Abe pronounces Milhouse's Grandfather's last name "Van Hooten"
(Is Abe Canadian?)
... Lisa considers Goldie Hawn elderly?
... Monty Burns makes quite a convincing Marge Simpson?
... the school of Blinkys swimming past Bart?
... the lifejackets that sank to the bottom?
... the Eurotrash music playing in the German's car?
Benjamin Robinson:
... the map in the classroom had only 48 states?
... when Grampa knocks on the door, Homer is playing with a Chinese
finger puzzle?
... the floor of the lake or ocean Bart was exploring is littered
with life preservers and life jackets? (Think about it...)
... Springfield's class of '79 sunk a Fotomat?
Don Del Grande:
... Nelson's grandfather looks like he could be Chief Wiggum's
father?
... the map behind Mrs. Krabappel's desk has some adjacent states
with the same color?
... there's something brown on Lisa's plate at dinner, but it's not
a pork chop, which Bart, Marge, and Homer are eating?
... Homer associates Medic Alert bracelets with being old, yet most
of the things that are on those bracelets aren't things that are
necessarily "achieved" with age?
... Mr. Burns sends a message via "Faxtroller"?
... Burns' Rolodex cards include Mesmerists (hypnotists), Dowsers
(people who find water with divining rods), Luddites, Alienists,
Zororastrians [sic], Alphabetizers, and Asassins?
... Burns is a Private First Class, while Abe is a Master Sergeant?
... Homer is stuck in a "Chinese finger trap"?
... there are only nine members of the Flying Hellfish squad?
... Burns never bothers to find out who buried the treasure, since
that person would know where it is?
... the graveyard with the Hellfish memorial is not the one where
Walt Whitman is buried, since they are both the highest
tombstones in their respective graveyards?
... the paintings' owner's car has license plate AJ 72695 and a "D"
oval sticker (used in Europe to denote the car is from Germany
(Deutscheland)), but the sticker is not white with black letter?
... there's a house in Germany in 1945 that has paintings in it that
weren't taken by the government? (And the paintings supposedly
belonged to whoever lived there as opposed to being taken from
France in 1940?)
... Maggie eats by herself with a spoon again?
Jason Hancock:
... Nelson's grandfather is a judge?
... Grampa's alarm clock is set for 2:00 am?
... Grampa actually looks forward to seeing his family?
... the assassin wears a pillow underneath his shirt while imitating
Homer, in order to make him look fat?
... Burns had brown hair in 1944?
... Bart and Grampa both say "D'oh!"
... the sunken Fotomat? (see below)
Mark Richey:
... Skinner was outside the school door?
... the alarm clock's hands shake?
... Burns knows the number of quite a few assassins?
... Abe and Bart let out a sigh of relief right before Burns kicks
Bart?
Dominik Halas:
... Grampa refers to Springfield Elementary as a schoolhouse?
... Grampa apparently made up his story in 9F18 about spending the war
as a cabaret girl? [He said so, duhh --ed]
... the double entendre in Grampa's "J. Edgar Hoover probe" remark?
... the model UFO in Bart's room, and his UFO calendar? (cf. 2F07)
... Bart has knot-tying skills? (probably from his days as a Junior
Camper.)
... Bart doesn't want to breathe from the mouthpiece that's been in
Grampa's mouth?
Rick Senger:
... Milhouse's grandfather recently remarried?
... Milhouse's grandfather doesn't wear a wedding ring?
... Grampa walks around with a wooden oatmeal spoon?
... when Grampa crosses his legs, they crack?
... Grampa wears red polka-dotted boxers?
... Smithers wears a name tag in Burns' office?
... Fernando Vidal's hacienda looks remarkably similar to the Fat
Man's mansion in the Cayman's from 3F12?
... Burns looks good in a dress?
... Grampa has a horseradish "Jones"?
... Monty Burns had scraggly red hair as a youth?
... Grampa had an admirable build in his army days?
... Flanders has a 30 foot yacht?
... Bart knows how to scuba-dive?
... Bart knows how to light a flare?
... although Grampa and Bart surface much faster than is
recommended, they apparently suffer no ill-effects (the Bends,
for instance)?
... Homer and Marge barely appear in this episode, and Maggie is
almost invisible?
Frederic Briere:
... Abe puts his teeth in a water glass?
Veronica Marquez:
... Ned's beatnik father started out as a commander?
Cast
Starring
- Dan Castellaneta (Abe, Homer, Fernando Vidal, Arnie)
- Julie Kavner (Marge)
- Nancy Cartwright (Bart, Nelson, Todd, Rod)
- Yeardley Smith (Lisa)
- Hank Azaria (Grandpa Van Houten, Grandpa Muntz, Izzy Wiggum, Ox,
Etch, Baron von Wortzenberger)
- Harry Shearer (Rev. Lovejoy, Burns, Smithers, Sheldon Skinner,
Ned, agents)
Also Starring
- Pamela Hayden (Milhouse)
- Tress MacNeille (the nurse)
- Maggie Roswell (Maude)
- Russi Taylor (Martin)
Special Guest Voice
- Marcia Wallace (Ms. Krabappel)
Movie, Music, and other References
+ "Day of the Jackal" {hl}
- Sniper's bullet narrowly misses President Charles De Gaulle when
he turns his head (cf. Abe)
+ "The Wizard of Oz" {jh}
- scene with Grampa in bed similar to scene where Dorothy wakes up
from her dream
"Flying Leathernecks" {hl}
- John Wayne Marine movie
"The Eagle Has Landed" {hl}
- Fighting Germans at castle
"Kelly's Heroes" {hl}
- GI's steal Nazi gold.
"Dirty Dozen: The Next Mission" (made for TV) {hl}
- Allied soldiers foil plot to assassinate Hitler!
+ "They Saved Hitler's Brain" {bjr}
- Abe must have had foreknowledge of this 50's B-grade science
fiction flick when he drew a bead on the German dictator
+ "Raiders of the Lost Ark" {jl}
- the light in the hellfish's eye pointing to exactly where to dig
+ "The Deep" {hl}
- Scuba diving for treasure while evil men try to steal it.
~ "The Abyss" {jl}
- Shots of the deep similar
+ "Black Widow" {jl} {vm}
- Abe saves a drowning Bart by offering him his oxygen mouthpiece,
which Bart refuses a few times (Abe=Theresa Russell, Bart=Debra
Winger)
+ "Mind Control" by D.J. Keoki {mp}
- music in the baron's car
- "a really cool New York D.J. who spins `trance' techno"
Freeze Frame Fun
Names on the Hellfish List {ddg} {jl}
Sheldon Skinner
Arnie Gumble
Asa Phelps
Iggy Wiggum
Milton "Ox" Haas
Etch Westgrin
Griff McDonald
Abe Simpson
Montgomery Burns
Stuff underwater (when they look for the paintings) {jm}, {vm}
A school of the famous three eyed fishes
Life preservers
Sunken Fotomat with "Class of '78 Rules" graffitoed on it
Man stuck in a kayak, only his skeleton remains
Technical Credits (if you care) {vm}
Overseas Animation: Akom (N.J. Kim) {ddg}
Assistant Director: Mark Ervin
Animation Timers: Chris Loudon, Nichole Graham, Michael Polcino,
Brian Sheesley, Gary McCarver
Storyboard: John Rice, Jeffrey Lynch, Celia Kendrick
Character Design Supervisor: Scott Alberts
Character Design: Dale Hendrickson, Joseph Wack, Mark Howard, Matt
Groening, Sam Simon
Background Design Supervisor: Lance Wilder
Background Design: John Krause, Maria Marrioti-Wilder, Edgar
Duncan
Previous Episode References
- [MG44] Bart dives underwater
- [7G03], [7F01], [2F15] Three-eyed fish are seen
- [7G05] Bart the General {hl}
- [7G09], [2F22] RVs are seen {vm}
- [7F17] Grampa attends a funeral {jh}
- [7F21] Someone holds grenade too long {hl}
- [9F03] Homer wants to put Grampa in a home after he already did so
{jh}
- [9F03] Grampa loses his teeth {vm}
- [9F05] Burns and Child Labor {vm}
- [9F12], [3F17] Nelson's family is seen or referred to {vm}
- [9F18] Abe's WW2 experiences
- [9F21] Bart: "Consarn it!" {vm}
- [1F01] A hole is made in the Simpsons house {vm} {fb}
- [1F01] Mr. Burns breaks into the Simpson house {jh}
- [1F03] The closing theme is recycled from this {vm}
- [1F12] Abe: "Consarn it!" {vm}
- [1F16] Someone impersonates OFF {jh}
- [1F18] Someone uses the word terlet {dh2}
- [1F18] Ned's father is referenced {vm}
- [1F21], [2F16], [2F18] Burns points a gun at Bart {vm} {ddg} {fb}
- [2F02] Grenade missing pin {hl}
- [2F09] Abe saves Mr. Burns' life which is how he became a Stonecutter
{jl}
- [2F13] The U.S. State Department shows up {jh}
- [2F32] A funeral in the rain with very few people there {ddg}
- [3F02] One of Milhouse's grandparents is seen {jh}
- [3F13] Sniper's bullet narrowly misses Lisa when her head suddenly
turns {hl}
- [3F16] Grampa and another old man get into a fistfight {jh}
Animation, Continuity, and other Goofs
- The voices of Abe, Homer, and Ms. Krabappel seemed "off" during the
first act. {dga}
= In the first shot of Grampa Van Houten, the classroom's alphabet
display says "Fe" instead of "Ee." {jh}
= When Nelson's grandfather was speaking, Nelson was in the second row,
but when he sat down, they both were in the front. {mar}
- On Mrs. Krabappel's map, the Great Lakes are all different colors.
{jh}
* Rev. Lovejoy enters his car from the passenger side. {dh2}
+ According to Old Money (7F17), the Simpsons visit Abe every Sunday.
{vm}
= Holes were (briefly) blasted in Grampa. {mar}
+ The nurse has a different voice than in other episodes. {vm}
* The shotgun sounded like a single, but it was double barreled. {mar}
+ Grampa never had to stay in Bart's room during previous stays. {mar}
+ The Simpsons never had a dumpster before. {vm}
+ Bart's bed is usually against the wall adjacent to Lisa's room.
{vm}
+ We've never seen that Hellfish tattoo on Grampa before. {jh}
+ Monty Burns should be considerably older than Abe Simpson. {dga}
+ Assuming Burns is 104, he would have been 52 in 1944, far to old to
be a private in the army. {mar}
+ Burns had already lost almost all of his hair by the 1920's. (cf.
7F02) {dh2}
* Grampa calls Arnie Gumble a "private fifth class", but there are
only three classes of private. {ddg}
* It takes more than one person to run a tank. {ddg}
c When Abe talks about the closing days of the war, CC indicates
"gunfire", yet none can be heard. {fb}
* Grampa threatens to refer Burns to "Commander Flanders", yet
Commander is a Navy rank. {ddg}
* How did Burns know Grampa was hiding out in OFF's house? {jh}
= When Bart shows Grampa the keys he got from Burns, they look
different from the keys Burns and Grampa show each other at the
funeral. {ddg}
* If Homer was awake, wouldn't he have heard the commotion in Bart's
room? {mar}
= There wasn't a fence around the Hellfish graves during Asa's funeral.
{dh2}
* Turning all nine keys on the headstone the second time produces a
completely differerent result than it did the first time (ie, from
opening the stone to the stone projecting a light beacon). {rs}
+ Springfield's cemetery isn't on a cliff. {dh2}
= When Bart first sees the chest, he's not carrying the rope. {mar}
- Burns clearly has more hair than usual in the last act. {rs}
= One of Burns's hands disappears off the gun. {mar}
* If the box was sealed with Bart in it, how did water get in (from the
bottom of the box, no less) without water ever getting in and ruining
the paintings before? {ddg}
= When Grampa opened the box's lid, the lock was not on the latch, yet
when Burns kicked the box (with Bart in it) back into the water, the
lock was on it. {ddg}
= Grampa's slippers appear and disappear from the waterskiing scene on.
{mar}
+ There were more than three pictures. {mar}
* How would the State Department officials know to arrive on the beach
at exactly that time? {dh2}
* The sun rises rather quickly at the end of the episode. {fb}
Comments and other observations
OED Non-References
Once again, Haynes Lee clears up some obscure words:
Tontine: "An annuity shared by subscribers of a loan, the shares
increasing as subscribers die until the last survivor
gets all. Named after Lorenzo Tonti of Naples,
originator of tontines in France."
Zororastrian: "A dualistic religion founded in 6th century B.C.
Persia."
Parade of Stars
Some famous people mentioned (but not actually parodied) in this
episode, courtesy of Benjamin J. Robinson:
Jacques Cousteau: "Famed undersea explorer, marine environmentalist,
and inventor of SCUBA gear. He's easily on the north side of
seventy, but he's still going strong."
Goldie Hawn: "Comic actress. She got her start on 'Laugh In', and
parlayed this into a reasonably successful movie career. I think
she's around fifty." Jason Hancock elaborates: "According to the
1996 World Almanac, Goldie Hawn was born on November 21, 1945,
which makes her 50 years old. I doubt you'll find many people who
would consider 50 "old," especially compared to Grampa."
Marion Barry: "Mayor of Washington D.C., who makes Quimby look like an
elder statesman. He was busted for using crack cocaine. Ever the
trooper, Mr. Barry bounced back and ACTUALLY GOT RE-ELECTED mayor
of D.C." Dale Abersold adds, "Where else but in America, and
possibly Austria, could a man with such a checkered past be
elected to high office?"
J. Edgar Hoover: "Head of the FBI from the 1930's until his death in
the mid-1970's. Among other things he was accused (post-mortem)
of being a transvestite and a homosexual."
Del Monte: "Okay, this isn't actually a person; it's a brand name of
canned fruits and vegetables. I didn't have a better place to put
this information."
I'm not getting older, I'm getting wetter
Benjamin Robinson rambles, "Burns thinks Abe looks foolish water-skiing
behind his boat, and chides him to `act his age.' Little does
Burns know that Abe _is_ acting his age. Somewhere in Florida
there is a man in his seventies -- alas, I forget his name -- who
not only water-skis, but does so barefoot. He wears a distinctive
all-yellow wetsuit, and has taken his act all over the country."
Kraftwerk
Benjamin Robinson says, "Kraftwerk was (is?) a West German [now in one
piece --ed] synth-pop band from the 80's. I don't remember their
being big in the U.S., but they supposedly inspired other Europop
bands like Depeche Mode. Trivia bit of the day: remember "Cuckoo's
Egg," about a group of German system crackers? Kraftwerk was the
favorite band of one of their members."
Grandson of Car Watch
Benjamin Robinson, aka the Groenig mechanic, notes "The car the young
German Baron drives is a Mercedes SL series. I could not make out
the exact model number. Notice the oval license plate slapped on
the car's back; in Germany, these are temporary plates used for
cars destined for export.
"Also, Burns is using a more modern-looking limousine than his
usual Rolls Royce-ish looking number. This proves what was
previously implied -- Burns has a fleet of automobiles."
We need more DeLoreans to run 'em over
Jason Hancock says, "Before there were one-hour photo processing labs
in drug stores and supermarkets, Fotomat drive-up booths were THE
places to get your film developed. In the late 1970s, Fotomats
were in the parking lots of almost every shopping mall in America.
There may still be a few of them around somewhere, but for the most
part they've disappeared. Apparently Springfield's Fotomats were
either dumped into the water or converted into "Tacomat"
restaurants (cf. 3F12, "Bart the Fink")."
Sitting on Helmets
According to Mike Branom, "the boys in the 1st of the 9th Air Cav (Air
Mobile) sat on their helmets so they wouldn't get their balls blown
off. Upon hearing this news, Chef thought it to be a good idea and
followed suit." A similar thing happened in "Full Metal Jacket".
I'll have a liberty meat, hold the mayo
The fact is that, during World War I, people were so fervent with
feelings of hatred and distrust towards the Germans that they
stopped using German words that were imported into the English
language. Examples include: "liberty sausage" instead of
"frankfurter" or "weiner"; "liberty meat" instead of "hamburger";
and "liberty cabbage" instead of "sauerkraut".
Reviews
Dale Abersold - Another goofy caper plot, saved by sight gags,
flashbacks, and the German at the end (a wonderful stereotype).
Not quite up to the (high) standard of the rest of the season, but
not chopped liver, either. Grade: B-.
Chris Courtois - To paraphrase Lisa, "...Curse of the Fighting
Hellfish" was a rather lifeless outing. The premise had promise,
but nothing was done with it. It looks like the writers spent more
effort on that long title than on the actual episode. "The
Simpsons" is special because it subverts traditional sitcom/mass
entertainment conventions. This episode was maddeningly
predictable. A few chuckles here and there (the Marion Berry jab,
the foiled Hitler assassination) but not much else. The sappy
ending didn't improve things any. Even after ignoring all the
continuity errors, characterization lapses, and plot holes (the
infamous "it's-just-a-cartoon" defense), this one only rates a C-.
Don Del Grande - Another "somewhere in the middle episode" - a few good
laughs, but nothing to get excited over, especially for a story
without a subplot.
Dominik Halas - Although I did find myself laughing several times, all
in all this episode just didn't click. The flashbacks aren't as
funny as they once were; they're getting tedious and contradictory.
The ending seemed especially contrived, as if the writers realized
they needed an ending that returned everything back to normal, and
tacked this one on at the last minute. Grade: C-.
Jason Hancock - Ehhh... kind of a mixed bag here. I liked the
Grandparents' Day scene at the beginning and the war flashbacks
were good. But Mr. Burns and Grampa were both _completely_ out of
character for much of the episode (especially the third act), and
the fight scenes were just plain dumb. Grade: C.
Patrick Hayden - This epsiode just didn't do anything for me. I
laughed a couple times, and smiled at a few others, but I really
can't say that I liked it. Again, no subplot to speak of, or any
good character development. Also, the voices and animation seemed
wrong, especially compared to "Team Homer" which came on right
after. All, in all, I can only give it a C+, and only because I
thought Grandpa putting a clock in his mouth was pretty funny.
Haynes Lee - As "Lisa's Wedding" showed Springfield in the near future,
this episode shows Springfield in its recent past. It was nice to
see all the men's fathers, and Mr. Skinner to boot. Grade: A+
John Murray - Overall only an average episode, severally lacking some
of things that make the Simpsons great (funny lines?). This
episode only had a few laughs, but the lines that made me laugh
were pretty good (Marion Barry). Also, something we have some
more of lately is seeing other much different sides of characters,
we see Grandpa in a some what "normal" state for a good part of
this episode. Grade: C+
Mark Richey - Sadly, the funniest thing about this episode is the
title. Grampa went from senile idiot to lean mean fighting machine
too quickly. Yeah, I know it was part of the joke, but it still
didn't make much sense. Burns was both too healthy and too evil.
The WWII scenes were pretty amusing, but the entire third act was
silly. Grade: C
Benjamin J. Robinson - Like "Two Dozen and One Greyhounds (2F18)," this
was a foray into the action-adventure genre. And, like "Two Dozen
and One Greyhounds," this one was too much like a kiddie action-
adventure movie. Some funny moments, but this episode would have
worked better as a dramatic movie than as an episode of "The
Simpsons." (C+)
Rick Senger - Another change of pace, and despite some complaints from
others, I enjoyed it. Grampa's war memories were fascinating and
effectively presented; the "List of Adrian Messenger" satire was
well-done, too. Big Laffs: Burns as Marge and Smithers as Bart,
Grampa scuba-diving, Burns' cherry picker entrance, and "Fun boys;
get a rooom!" Nothing insightful, but as harmless fun goes, this
one was pleasant enough. B.
Yours Truly - On one side, this episode showed Grampa's non-"old coot"
side that was only shown before on "Bart the General", it had some
good jokes (Marion Berry) and the plot was well-written. On the
down side, Burns became out of character towards the end, many
jokes fell flat, and the maudlin sentiment was about as obvious as
one of the better episodes of "Blossom". Grade: C
AVERAGE GRADE: C/C+ (2.41)
Quotes and Scene Summary {fb}
In occasion of Springfield Elementary's Grandparents' Day, "A Low-
Cost Outing For Seniors", every child has brought one of his
grandparents to school. Of course, Bart is stuck with Abe, who has
found a new habit in spitting on the floor.
Abe: [spits]
Bart: Grampa! I don't mind when you spit at home, but I have to work
with these people.
Abe: Oh, jabberjack. Schoolhouse don't put up spittoons, I ain't
responsible. [spits]
-- A serious lack in our educational system,
"The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
All right, seniors, we'd all love to share in your wisdom, experience,
yadda yadda yadda.
-- Mrs. Krabappel shows her deepest interest,
"The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
Mrs.K: Let's start with Milhouse's grandfather.
Van Houten: Uh, how many of you have a house?
[children raise their hands]
Van Houten: All right, now how many of you drove your house to school
today?
[children raise their hands again, then wake up]
Children: Huh?
Van Houten: Well, I did. [chuckles] No, I'm not Superman; I just own an
RV. Me and the new wife travel the country searching for
adventure. Last fall, we won a chili cook-off in Beaumont,
Texas.
Children: Wow!
-- More excitement than any videogame,
"The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
"You're living in a fool's paradise, Van Houten," Abe criticizes.
"If you fell down in the shower, that thing would be your tomb."
But Bart turns Abe's attention back to spitting.
Muntz: [chuckles] No, I'm not Superman; I'm a judge. Why, just this
morning I sentenced my 46th man to death. Oh... no, 47th.
Nelson: Wow, 47! I love you Grandpa.
-- I reached him, "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
But Abe just can't shut up...
Yeah... well, I may not have a fancy black bathrobe and a hammer like
Snooty, but I do have slippers and an oatmeal spoon. Look!
-- Abe vs. Judge Muntz, "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
Mrs. Krabappel invites Abe to come up front and "give someone else a
chance to interrupt" over Bart's protests. "About time, knothead,"
Abe grumbles.
The storyteller comes in front of the class, and urges everybody to
shut up.
Abe: Now, my story begins in 19-dickety-two. We had to say "dickety"
'cause that Kaiser had stolen our word "twenty". I chased that
rascal to get it back, but gave up after dickety-six miles...
[children laughing]
Martin: "Dickety"? Highly dubious!
Abe: What're you cackling at, fatty? Too much pie, that's your
problem!
[children laughing]
Abe: Now, I'd like to digress from my prepared remarks to discuss
how I invented the terlet.
Mrs.K: "Terlet"? Hah!
[children laughing]
Abe: Stop your snickerin'! I spent three years on that terlet!
-- Well, duh, "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
But it's no use; he's just making a fool of himself and Bart. At
home, comes supper time, Bart complains about it to the family.
Bart: And then, he claimed he was the one who turned cats and dogs
against each other. Why is he always making up those crazy
stories?
Homer: Maybe it's time we put Grampa in a home.
Lisa: You already put him in a home.
Bart: Maybe it's time we put him in one where he can't get out.
-- What about cryogenics?, "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
Lisa: Old people deserve our respect. Look at Jacques Cousteau and
Goldie Hawn; you wouldn't shut them away like second-class
citizens.
Homer: Pftt... second class? What about social security, bus discounts,
Medic-Alert jewelry, Gold Bond powder, pants all the way up to
your armpits, and all those other senior perks? Oh, if you ask
me, old folks have it pretty sweet.
-- "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
But at Springfield's Retirement Castle, life doesn't always hold that
much excitement, as Abe has nothing else to do but read his mail,
which is nothing else than a bunch of flyers.
"Consider burial at... Sea World!"
-- "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
Eh, this junk was hardly worth getting up for. Maybe if I go back to
sleep for a few days some good mail will build up.
-- "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
As Abe ponders this option, he notices an envelope. The letter is
from the Fighting Hellfish, and says only one thing: "Asa Phelps has
died." This comes as shocking news to Abe: "The 7th Hellfish is
dead?! That means the fortune's almost mine..."
At Asa's funeral ceremony, Abe is the only one present, until
Montgomery Burns shows up. During Reverend Lovejoy's lecture, he
pulls a string from his coat, revealing a key tied at the end. Abe
nods, and pulls a long string from his own coat; after a while, he
reaches the very end, where a similar key is tied. Burns nods in
agreement.
Asa Phelps spent his entire life in Springfield, except for four years'
service in WWII and one high school day-trip. He worked at the United
Strut and Bracing Works as a molder's boy, until he was replaced by a
Molder-Matic, and died.
-- Eulogy of Asa Phelps as spoken by Reverend Timothy Lovejoy,
"The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
After Lovejoy drives away, Abe and Burns walk to a monument bearing a
statue of the Hellfish. On the front is a door with nine keyholes, of
which seven already have a key inserted in. Without a word, Abe and
Burns insert their own key and unlock the door, which holds a metal
box. "Would you do the honors?" asks Burns. Abe thus opens the box
and takes out a piece of paper, on which nine names are written.
After he has crossed out Asa Phelps, only his name and Burns' remain.
Burns: There, Simpson: seven gone. As soon as you're in your pressboard
coffin, I'll be the sole survivor and the treasure will be mine.
Abe: Over my dead body, it will!
-- Unclear on the concept, "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
Burns: Oh, Simpson, can't you go five seconds without humiliating
yourself?
[Abe's pants go down with a "boing"]
Abe: How long was that?
-- About three seconds, "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
Burns notes, "Your clownish behavior notwithstanding, we have made a
gentlemen's agreement, and sworn on our lives to honor it." Then, in
the car, he asks Smithers to have him killed. As Smithers drives away,
Abe's pants go down with a boinging sound again.
[End of Act One. Time: 4'57"]
At his office, Burns goes through his Rolodex.
Let's see... Mesmerists, Dowsers, Luddites, Alienists, Zoroastrians,
Alphabetizers... A-ha! Assassins...
-- Monty Burns' Rolodex, "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
Smithers wonders if assassinating Abe is really necessary due to his
old age, but Burns can't risk to lose the Hellfish bonanza to Abe, so
he needs the world's most devious assassin: Fernando Vidal.
At his mansion, Vidal answers the phone.
Vidal: Hola?
Burns: Fernando, it's M.B.
Vidal: Ah, Marion Barry. Is it time for another shipment already?
-- Old friends die hard, "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
"No, it's Montgomery Burns!" Vidal puts up plan A: while Abe is
asleep, he pours some drops of poison in his water glass, which
holds his denture. Then, he simply advances the alarm clock to Abe's
wake-up time. In his slumber, Abe throws away the glass with his
teeth and sticks a clock in his mouth.
[Abe's poison teeth lie on the floor as he runs with a clock
in his mouth]
Vidal: Ah, he's more clever than he looks...
-- Or sound, or our best testing indicates,
"The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
Then it's up to plan B...
Nurse: Abraham Simpson, your family is here to visit you.
Abe: Hot diggity, my family's come to visit me!
[runs down the hall]
Wait a minute... My family never comes to vi... Whoa!
[a knife flies at his head]
Vidal: [disguised as Homer] D'oh! Not again!
Burns: [disguised as Marge] I can't take much more of your blundering
numskullery.
Smithers: [disguised as Bart] I'll be in the car, dudes.
-- Just like the real thing, "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
Vidal: There is one more way to kill a man, but it is as intricate and
precise as a well-played game of chess.
[bursts into Retirement Castle with a machine gun and shoots
away]
-- Versus Lloyd Christmas, maybe, "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
Vidal blows everything to bits but Abe and Jasper.
Was that me or was that you?
-- Jasper after someone shoots a gun,
"The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
Abe: Nurse! Someone's trying to kill me!
Nurse: Okay, we'll do something about that right away. Let's start by
doubling your medication.
-- That will help a bit, "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
[Vidal comes in, shoots everywhere]
Nurse: [loads shotgun]
[shoots] Our residents
[shoots] are trying
[shoots] to nap!
[shoots]
-- Should've phoned ahead, "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
Fearing for his safety, Abe rushes to his son's home.
Abe: [pounding on the door] Let me in! Someone's trying to kill me!
Sweet merciful McGillicuddy, you gotta open the door!
Homer: Who is it?
Marge: It's Grampa. And it sounds like he's gotten into the horseradish
again.
-- Mmm... horseradish, "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
Lying on the couch, Abe utters this anecdote of his.
Abe: And then, a knife flew at my head. And [points to Homer] you
were there, and [points to Homer] you were there...
Lisa: Uh, Grampa, maybe I should moisten your washcloth.
Abe: It's plenty moist!
-- Perhaps medication was the answer,
"The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
Since Abe can't give away the reason for Burns' will to kill him,
nobody believes his story. Nevertheless, they are willing to let him
stay.
Marge: Where are we going to put him?
Homer: Bart's room.
Lisa: Bart's room.
Marge: Bart's room.
Bart: Dumpster.
-- I'll go with the family, "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
From his room, Bart sighs and looks at the dumpster as his grandfather
unpacks.
Abe: Sorry to crowd you boy, but I'll let you in on a secret. Burns is
after me 'cause he wants the Hellfish bonanza.
Bart: Look, if you're gonna stay in my room, could you at least stop
making up gibberish?
Abe: Gibberish, eh? Then, what's this?
[lifts his sleeve, revealing a tattoo]
Bart: Wrinkly gibberish?
-- He's got an answer for everything,
"The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
I got this in the second World War II...
-- Abe shows off his Hellfish tattoo,
"The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
Flashback to 1944, at the Ardennes.
Back then, I was known as Sgt. Simpson, and I commanded the Flying
Hellfish, the fightingest squad in the fightingest company in the
third-fightingest battalion in the army.
-- Abe starts his story, "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
Abe introduces Bart via flashback to the Flying Hellfish; Iggy Wiggum
who left a grenade without a pin in a knapsack; Sheldon Skinner,
with a "Shoot me" sign on the back; Private Fifth Class Arnie Gumble
who burps in a tank; and Griff, Asa, Ox, and Etch. But every unit has
a troublemaker; in the case of the Hellfish, it was a cocky little
private named Montgomery Burns.
In this flashback, Burns is carried unconscious on a litter, until he
wakes up.
Duh, hey! You said you was dead!
-- Ox carries Burns out on a litter, "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
Bart: Mm-hmm. You bossed around the richest, most powerful guy in town.
How come you were a sergeant and he was only a private?
Abe: Well... he got busted down for obstructing a probe from J. Edgar
Hoover. We got stuck with him.
-- That's an onion in the ointment, "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
Among Sergeant Simpson's accomplishments is the time he almost shot
the Furher...
Heh heh heh. Now they'll never save your brain, Hitler.
-- Sergeant Simpson about to change history,
"The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
Of course, something stood in the way: a tennis ball, to be precise,
thrown by nobody else than Monty Burns. "Little help?" he asks,
holding a racket. Soon he has other things to care about, as Germans
start shooting at the squad. One grenade lands right next to Burns,
and Simpson saves the day by sitting on it with his helmet.
Boom! Boom, it went! Boom! Just like that! They took a photo of my
keister for Stars and Stripes. At least they told me it was for Stars
and Stripes.
-- Abraham J. Simpson, "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
Back to the closing days of the war, as the Hellfish had just flushed
some Germans out of an abandoned castle, Burns holds a painting, and
carts it away. Sgt. Simpson threatens to report Burns to Commander
Flanders.
Sgt.: Just leave [the paintings], Burnsie.
Burns: Leave them for whom, the Germans, the folks who shoot at us all
day? Let's just take them. We'll all be rich, rich as Nazis.
-- Wow, Nazis, "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
Etch: Think of what a guy could get himself with that kind of
scratch!
Skinner: Yeah, I could buy chicken dinners three times a day!
Wiggum: I could buy a brand-new studebaker, one with a fan on the
dashboard!
Gumble: I could pay my way into high- [belches] society!
Sgt.: Well, I don't feel right about it, but I could use a nest egg
for retirement. I'd hate to wind up in one of them old folks
homes...
-- WWII paintings are found, "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
Burns: Then it's agreed. Of course, we can't sell the paintings now,
we'd be caught. How many of you are familiar with the concept of
a "tontine"?
[all stare at him, until Ox raises his hand]
Burns: All right, Ox. Why don't you take us through it?
Ox: Duh, essentially, we all enter into a contract whereby the last
surviving participant becomes the sole possessor of all them
purty pictures.
Burns: Well put, Oxford.
-- His name comes with a dual meaning,
"The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
"Now remember, you can't _all_ sign with an X."
Abe: So, we sealed up the paintings knowing only one of us would ever
look upon them again. Ox was the first to go; he got a hernia
carrying the crate out of the castle. Five more men died in the
Veteran's Day float disaster of '79. Now, with Asa gone, it's down
to me and Burns.
Bart: Great story Grampa, could've used a vampire though. 'Night.
-- Some captivated audience, "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
Abe mourns over the fact that his own grandson doesn't believe him,
until a loud buzzing is heard as someone is sawing the outside wall.
Next thing Bart and Abe know, Burns rides a crane inside the room.
Abe: [yells] Don't kill me!
Burns: I've tried to meet you halfway on this, Simpson, but you had to
be little Johnny Live-a-lot. Now, give me your key to the
Hellfish bonanza.
Bart: Oh, wow! There really is a treasure! Whatever you do, don't
give him the key, Grampa.
Abe: Here's the key.
Bart: Aw... figures.
-- "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
But Bart has something up his sleeve, as he gets on the crane...
Bart: Hey, Mr. Burns! Can I go with you to get the treasure? I won't
eat much and I don't know the difference between right and
wrong.
Burns: Oh, you're a good boy, but the child labor people have been
watching me like a hawk.
-- Even though they crashed on my property,
"The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
Burns: Well, I'm off to get paintings; as they say, time is "Monets".
As you were, Sergeant. [laughs]
[pushes the wrong button on his crane, and ends up through
another wall]
Burns: Oh, terribly sorry. Back to sleep, little girl.
Lisa: Santa?
-- Or was it Maggie now, "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
Burns finally manages to get out of the house.
Abe: Ah, I guess Burns is finally gonna be rich.
Bart: Not without the keys, he isn't! [shows Abe the two keys]
[long pause]
Abe: Hey, you got the keys!
-- Delayed reaction, "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
Bart: Now we can get the treasure!
Abe: Oh, what's the use. Burns would still find some way to take it
from me.
Bart: I can't believe you, Grampa. The sergeant in that story you told
would never be scared of a dork like Burns. You gotta get that
treasure, you gotta do it for Ox, and Asa, and Griff, and
Burnsie... Well, not so much Burnsie.
-- What about the children?, "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
Abe: You really think I can do it?
Bart: [unconvincing] Uh, yes...
-- I'm so glad you believe in me, "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
So, they both rush out of Bart's room, and bump into Homer who was up
for a snack.
Homer: Where are you two going at this hour?
Bart: On a treasure hunt.
Homer: Oh! Can I come?
Abe: Only if you're ready to stare danger in the face, put your
manhood to the ultimate test, and take...
Homer: Pass.
-- I'll miss Sherrif Lobo, "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
[End of Act Two. Time: 14'07"]
In order to get the treasure, Bart and Abe head for the Hellfish
monument in Springfield's cemetery.
Bart: Hey, Grampa, do you think that dead bodies get up and walk around
at night?
Abe: If they're anything like me, they have to get up twice.
-- "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
But before he digs up the treasure, Abe stops before the graves of
the seven living-impaired Hellfish. "Fellas, it's me, Sarge. At
ease."
I know I'm bending the rules tonight, but I also know none of you wants
that skunk Burns to take our treasure. And I want you to know that when
I die, you're all welcome to visit me in rich men's heaven.
-- Grampa, "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
Abe inserts the two remaining keys, and unlocks each of the nine
locks on the door. The monument rumbles, and out of the Hellfish's
eye comes a beam of light which slowly progresses towards the
treasure's location. When this location is revealed to be at sea,
Bart and Abe can't help shouting out a "D'oh!" in unison.
Abe: Boy, you borrow us some diving equipment while I borrow
this boat.
[starts sawing the anchor]
Ned: [on the boat] Well, howdy-doodily, stranger! Couldn't
help but notice you're stealing my boat.
Abe: I'll bring it back.
Ned: You ever operated a powerboat?
Abe: No.
Ned: Know anything about water safety?
Abe: No!
Ned: What do you need it for?
Abe: It's a secret.
Ned: Hoo-hoo, sounds spine-tingling-dingling! Just promise
you'll have a good time.
[hands him the keys]
Ned: Maude, boys, come on up! We're gonna have a little camp
out in the dingy!
Maude & Kids: Yay!
-- Stealing ain't like it used to be anymore,
"The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
At large, Bart puts on the diving equipment.
Abe: Now, remember the plan, boy. If you run out of air, tug on the
rope...
Bart: 64 times, no more, no less. Got it.
Abe: No no! 63 times if you're out of air; 64 is if you found the
treasure!
-- It's all by the numbers, "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
Bart: Hey, Grampa, do you thing I could've been a Flying Hellfish?
Abe: You're a gutsy daredevil with a give-em-hell attitude and a
fourth-grade education. You could've made sergeant.
-- "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
Bart jumps off the boat and starts looking for the treasure, which
turns up quickly. He ties the crate to the rope, and starts the
pulling...
Abe: 61... 62... 63... Oh no! 63! He's out of air! I've sent my only
grandson to a watery gra... 64! He's found the treasure! I'm rich!
-- A wide range of emotions, "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
They bring the crate on board, and it is indeed filled with valuable
and well-preserved paintings. As they browse through the lot, the
Hellfish light fades away. Bart lights a flare, revealing the shadow
of Montgomery Burns. Of course, he came to grab the treasure, which
insults Bart.
Bart: You coward! You're an embarrassment to the name Hellfish.
Burns: Oh, am I? [aims his gun at Bart]
Abe: No! Look, take the art if you want, just don't hurt the boy.
Burns: Hmm... I'd rather do both.
[kicks Bart in the crate, which tilts over and falls in the
sea]
Burns: So long, Sarge. See you at the reunion in November.
-- A one-man party, "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
Abe picks up the breathing equipment, throws his denture away, puts
on the mouthpiece, and jumps. As the crate is filling with water, he
manages to open the door and get Bart out of it. They struggle a bit
when Bart refuses to put on the mouthpiece which had just been in
his grandfather's mouth a moment ago, but he finally gives in.
Once they reach the boat, they can rest in safety --and Abe can put
back his denture.
Bart: I'm sorry I cost you your fortune, Grampa.
Abe: Oh, the fortune doesn't matter, boy; the important thing is
you're safe. Now let's get that fortune!
-- One-track mind, "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
So they engage in pursuit of Burns' boat.
Smithers: They're gaining on us, sir. We'll have to jettison something.
[Burns stares at him]
It's been an honor to serve you, sir. [jumps off]
-- "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
But Abe won't allow Burns to just get away with it. He takes the
grapple and fires at Burns' boat, then uses the grapple as a rod for
water-skiing. Burns finds his acrobatics quite humorous, but changes
his mind when Abe manages to climb the rope up to his boat and jumps
over him. The two of them are still fighting when the boat hits the
shore, propelling them on the beach.
Burns: Don't kill me...
Abe: I ain't gonna kill ya, that'd be cowardly; Monty Burns cowardly.
I just want to watch you squirm.
Burns: Yes sir. [squirms] Is this to your liking?
-- That's a good boy, "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
Now, Burnsie, there's one thing we don't stand for in the Hellfish, and
that's trying to kill your commanding officer.
-- The fundamental rule of any squad, "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
Therefore, Burns is dismissed from both the Hellfish and the tontine,
leaving Abe as the possessor of the paintings. Having just landed,
Bart is congratulating his grandfather, but is interrupted by the US
State Department, which has been helping the German government search
for this stolen art for 50 years. To avoid an international incident,
they'll be returning it to the descendant of its rightful owner, who
just happens to be driving a brand-new Mercedes.
Agent: Baron von Wortzenberger, on behalf of the American people, I
apologize for...
Baron: Ja ja ja, mach schnell mit der art things, huh? I must get back
to Dancecentrum in Struttgart in time to see Kraftwerk.
[the agent is storing the paintings in the trunk]
Baron: Hey, und dummkopf! Watch out for the CD-changer in my trunk, eh?
Idiot.
[hops in the car, turns on the radio and drives away]
Abe: I guess he deserves it more than I do.
-- "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
Abe: Well, at least I got to show you I wasn't always a pathetic old
kook...
Bart: You never were, Grampa.
Abe: Oh... I'd hug ya, but I know you'd just get embarrassed.
Bart: I won't get embarrassed; I don't care who knows I love my
Grampa.
[both hug]
Baron: Hey, fun boys, get a room!
-- A baron could hold sway, "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
[End of Act Three. Time: 21'30"]
The closing theme is taken from Marge on the Lam [1F03].
Contributions
{dga} - Dale Abersold
{fb} - Frederic Briere
{ddg} - Don Del Grande
{dh2} - Dominik Halas
{jh} - Jason Hancock
{hl} - Haynes Lee
{jl} - Jose Lafaurie
{vm} - Veronica Marquez
{jm} - John Murray
{sp} - Serge Polishchuk
{mp} - Melissa Prange
{mar} - Mark Richey
{bjr} - Benjamin J. Robinson
{rs} - Rick Senger
Legal crud
The above compilation of observations, quote summaries, statistics, and
other miscellaneous information copyright 1996 Chips-Fey Productions.
Not to be used in a public forum without explicit permission from the
author (Ricardo A. Lafaurie Jr.) or his brother Jose Lafaurie.
Any quoted material above remains property of the original authors;
mainly, quoted material and episode summaries remain property of The
Simpsons, and copyright to Twentieth Century Fox. The compilation is
copyright to Frederic Briere. So don't sue.
"Da da da, da da da, da da da da da da" Homer sings "Summer Samba"