Lyrics for singles by Weird Al Yankovic

My Bologna
Another One Rides the Bus
Ricky
I Love Rocky Road
Eat It
King Of Suede
I Lost On Jeopardy
This is the Life
Yoda
Like A Surgeon
I Want A New Duck
One More Minute
Living With a Hernia
Fat
Lasagna
I Think I'm A Clone Now
Money For Nothing/Beverly Hillbillies
Isle Thing
Smells Like Nirvana
Jurassic Park
Achy Breaky Song
Headline News
Amish Paradise
The Saga Begins
White & Nerdy
eBay
Girls Just Want To Have Lunch
(This Song's Just) Six Words Long
Alimony
Livin' in the Fridge
Cavity Search
Syndicated Inc.
The Brady Bunch
Theme From Rocky XIII
I Can't Watch This
Stop Draggin' My Car Around
The White Stuff
Addicted to Spuds
Ode to a Superhero
She Drives Like Crazy
Spam
Grapefruit Diet
I Was Only Kidding



My Bologna : My Sharona {The Knack}

Oooh, my little hungry one, hungry one                        Ooh, my little pretty one, pretty one
Open up a package of my bologna                               When you gonna give me some time, Sharona?
Oooh, I think the toast is done, toast is done                Will you make my motor run, my motor run?
Top it with a little of my bologna                            Got it coming all for the night, Sharona

Never gonna stop, eat it up, such a tasty snack               Never gonna stop, give it up, such a dirty mind
I always eat too much, and throw up, but I'll soon be back    I was getting up from the touch of a younger kind
For my my my yi yi wooo                                       My-my-my-ay ooh
M-M-M-My bologna                                              Ma-ma-ma-my Sharona

Spreadin' on the mustard now, a-show me how                   Come a little closer hon, a real hon
Spread it on a little of this bologna                         Close enough to look into my eyes, Sharona
Hopin' that we don't run out, don't run out                   Keepin' it a mystery you give to me
If we do, I'm sure that I'll miss bologna                     Rolling down the length of my thigh, Sharona

[chorus]



Goin' to the market now, market now                           When are you gonna get to me, ah get to me
I'm the city's biggest bologna buyer                          Is it just a matter of time, Sharona?
Walkin' down the shopping aisles, shopping aisles             Is it such a destiny, a destiny?
Fillin' up my basket with Oscar Mayer                         Or is it just a game in my mind, Sharona?

[chorus]




Another One Rides the Bus : Another One Bites The Dust {Queen}

Ridin' in a bus down the boulevard                            Steve walks warily down the street
And the place was pretty packed                               With the brim pulled way down low
Couldn't find a seat, so I had to stand                       Ain't no sound but the sound of his feet
With the perverts in the back                                 Machine guns ready to go
It was smellin' like a locker room                            Are you ready, Are you ready for this
There was junk all over the floor                             Are you hanging on the edge of your seat
We're already packed in like sardines                         Out of the doorway the bullets rip
But we're stoppin' to pick up more                            To the sound of the beat
Look out!                                                     Look out!

Another one rides the bus                                     Another one bites the dust
Another one rides the bus--ow!                                Another one bites the dust
And another comes on, and another comes on                    And another one gone, and another one gone
Another one rides the bus--hey, hey!                          Another one bites the dust
He's gonna sit by you                                         Hey, I'm gonna get you too
Another one rides the bus--hey-y-y-y!                         Another one bites the dust

There's a suitcase pokin' me in the ribs                      How do you think I'm going to get along
There's an elbow in my ear                                    Without you when you're gone
There's a smelly old bum standin' next to me                  You took me for everything that I had
Hasn't showered in a year                                     And kicked me out on my own
Well, I think I'm missin' a contact lens                      Are you happy, are you satisfied
I think my wallet's gone                                      How long can you stand the heat
And I think this bus is stoppin' again                        Out of the doorway the bullets rip
To let a couple more freaks get on                            To the sound of the beat
Look out!                                                     Look out!

[chorus]

The window doesn't open and the fan is broke                  There are plenty of ways you can hurt a man
And my face is turnin' blue                                   And bring him to the ground
I haven't been in a crowd like this                           You can beat him, you can cheat him
Since I went to see The Who                                   You can treat him bad and leave him when he's down
Well, I should'a got off a couple miles ago                   But I'm ready, yes I'm ready for you
But I couldn't get to the door                                I'm standing on my own two feet
There isn't any room for me to breathe                        Out of the doorway the bullets rip
Now we're gonna pick up more                                  Repeating the sound of the beat

[chorus]




Ricky : Mickey {Toni Basil}

Hey Lucy, I'm home!
Oh, Ricky, you're so fine
You're so fine you blow my mind.
Hey, Ricky!
Hey, Ricky!
Oh, Lucy, you're so fine
You're so fine you blow my mind.
Hey, Lucy!
Hey, Lucy!
Oh, Ricky, you're so fine
You play your bongos all the time.
Hey, Ricky!
Hey, Ricky!
Oh, Lucy, you're so fine
How I love to hear you whine.
Hey, Lucy!

Hey, Ricky!
You always play your conga drums --- you think you got the right
You wake up little Ricky in the middle of the night
Stop shakin' your maracas now and just turn out the light
Ricky!

I'm sick of Fred and Ethel always comin' over here
'Cause Fred eats all our pretzel sticks and then he spills his beer
Why don't you serve your casserole and make them disappear
Lucy?

Oh, Ricky, what's a girl
like me supposed to do?
You really drive me wild
When you sing your Ba-ba-lu

Oh, Lucy, you're so dizzy
Don't you have a clue?
Well, here's to you, Lucy!
I love you too, Lucy, too, Lucy
Let's Ba-ba-lu, Lucy.

Hey, Ricky!
You're always playin' at the club; you never let me go
I'm beggin' and I'm pleadin' but you always tell me no
Oh please, honey, please, let me be in your show
Ricky!
Waaa...

You always burn the roast and you drop the dishes too
You iron my new shirt and you burn a hole right through
You're such a crazy redhead, I just don't know what to do
Lucy!

Oh, Ricky, what a pity
don't you understand
That every day's another rerun
And the laughter's always canned

Oh, Lucy, I'm the Latin
leader of the band
So here's to you, Lucy
Let's Ba-ba-lu, Lucy, do, Lucy

Everybody rumba!




I Love Rocky Road : I Love Rock 'n' Roll {Joan Jett & the Blackhearts}

I hear those ice cream bells and I start to drool             I saw him dancin' there by the record machine
Keep a couple quarts in my locker at school                   I knew he must've been about seventeen
Yeah, but chocolate's gettin' old                             The beat was goin' strong
And vanilla just leaves me cold                               Playin' my favorite song
There's just one flavor good enough for me, yeah me           An' I could tell it wouldn't be long
Don't gimme no crummy taste spoon, I know what I need, baby   Till he was with me, yeah me, singin'

I love rocky road                                             I love rock n' roll
So won't you go and buy a half gallon baby                    So put another dime in the jukebox, baby
I love rocky road                                             I love rock n' roll
So have another triple scoop with me                          So come an' take your time an' dance with me

They tell me ice cream junkies are all the same               He smiled so I got up and asked for his name
All the soda jerkers know my name                             That don't matter, he said, 'cause it's all the same
When their supply is gone                                     Said can I take you home
Then I'll be movin' on                                        where we can be alone
But I'll be back on Monday afternoon                          An' next we were movin' on
You'll see, another truckload's comin' in for me              He was with me, yeah me next we were movin' on
All for me, I'm singin'                                       He was with me, yeah me, singin'

[chorus]

When I'm all alone                                            Said can I take you home
I just grab my self a cone                                    where we can be alone
And if I get fat and lose my teeth that's fine with me        An' next we were movin' on
Just lock me in the freezer, throw away the key, singin'      He was with me, yeah me singin'

[chorus]




Eat It : Beat It {Michael Jackson}

How come you're always such a fussy young man                 They told him don't you ever come around here
Don't want no Captain Crunch, don't want no Raisin Bran       Don't wanna see your face, you better disappear
Well don't you know that other kids are starving in Japan     The fire's in their eyes and their words are really clear
So eat it, just eat it                                        So beat it, just beat it

Don't want to argue, I don't want to debate                   You better run, you better do what you can
Don't want to hear about what kind of food you hate           Don't wanna see no blood, don't be a macho man
You won't get no dessert till you clean off your plate        You wanna be tough, better do what you can
So eat it                                                     So beat it

Don't tell me you're full                                     But you wanna be bad

Just eat it, eat it                                           Just beat it, beat it
Get yourself an egg and beat it                               No one wants to be defeated
Have some more chicken, have some more pie                    Showin' how funky and strong is your fight
It doesn't matter if it's broiled or fried                    It doesn't matter who's wrong or right
Just eat it, eat it, just eat it, eat it                      Just beat it, beat it, just beat it, beat it
Just eat it, eat it, just eat it, eat it                      Just beat it, beat it, just beat it, beat it

Your table manners are a crying shame                         They're out to get you, better leave while you can
Your playin' with your food, this ain't some kind of game     Don't wanna be a boy, you wanna be a man
Now if you starve to death you'll just have yourself to blame You wanna stay alive, better do what you can
So eat it, just eat it                                        So beat it, just beat it

You better listen, better do what you're told                 You have to show them that you're really not scared
You haven't even touched your tuna casserole                  You're playin' with your life, this ain't no truth or dare
You better chow down or it's gonna get cold                   They'll kick you, then they beat you, then they'll tell you it's fair
So eat it                                                     So beat it

I don't care if you're full                                   But you wanna be bad

Just eat it, eat it                                           Just beat it, beat it
Open up your mouth and feed it                                No one wants to be defeated
Have some more yogurt, have some more Span                    Showin' how funky and strong is your fight
It doesn't matter if it's fresh or canned                     It doesn't matter who's wrong or right
Just eat it, eat it                                           Just beat it, beat it
Don't you make me repeat it                                   Beat it, beat it, beat it

Have a banana, have a whole bunch                             [ad nauseum]
It doesn't matter what you had for lunch
Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it
eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it

Just eat it, eat it
If it's getting cold reheat it
Have a big dinner, have a light snack
If you don't like it you can't send it back

Just eat it, eat it
Get yourself an egg and beat it
Have some more chicken, have some more pie
It doesn't matter if it's broiled or fried
Just eat it, eat it
Don't you make me repeat it




King Of Suede : King of Pain {Sting}

There's a sale on our gabardine suits today                   There's a little black spot on the sun today
They're all thirty percent off from yesterday                 It's the same old thing as yesterday
There's Fortrel polyester, leather, wool and tweed            There's a black hat caught in a high tree top
Just a Visa or Mastercard is all you need                     There's a flag pole rag and the wind won't stop

We've got every color, we've got ev'ry shade                  I have stood here before inside the pouring rain
We're located next door to Willy's Fun Arcade                 With the world turning circles running 'round my brain
We got every fabric that was ever made                        I guess I'm always hoping that you'll end this reign
But I'm known in this city as the King of Suede               But it's my destiny to be the king of pain

We got portly and regular and extra-long                      There's a little black spot on the sun today
(Is my size up there?)                                        That's my soul up there
We got tailors to fix it, if it comes out wrong               It's the same old thing as yesterday
(Is my size up there?)                                        Tha's my soul up there
We got all kinds of sweatshirts, you can take your pick       There's a black hat caught in a high tree top
(Is my size up there?)                                        That's my soul up there
With the collars ripped off, like that Flashdance flick       There's a flag pole rag and the wind won't stop
(Is my size up there?)                                        That's my soul up there

Our prices are low, my staff is underpaid                     I have stood here before inside the pouring rain
You can buy off the rack, or have it custom made              With the world turning circles running 'round my brain
And it's all guaranteed to never shrink or fade               I guess I'm always hoping that you'll end this reign
'Cause of my reputation as the King of Suede                  But it's my destiny to be the king of pain

If you need a tuxedo for your junior prom                     There's a fossil that's trapped in a high cliff wall
(Is my size up there?)                                        That's my soul up there
We can get you the best one that's made in Taiwan             There's a dead salmon frozen in a waterfall
(Is my size up there?)                                        That's my soul up there
We got jackets with patches on the elbows, too                There's a blue whale beached by a springtide's ebb
(Is my size up there?)                                        That's my soul up there
And we'll sell 'em all factory-direct to you                  There's a butterfly trapped in a spider's web
(Is my size up there?)                                        That's my soul up there

Well, I never made it past the second grade                   I have stood here before inside the pouring rain
It took all of my life for me to learn this trade             With the world turning circles running 'round my brain
But my friends are all thinking that I've got it made         I guess I'm always hoping that you'll end this reign
'Cause I'm known the world over as the King of Suede          But it's my destiny to be the king of pain

There's a two-for-one sale on our three-piece suits           There's a king on a throne with his eyes torn out
Check out our suede pajamas and our suede-covered boots       There's a blind man looking for a shadow of doubt
You can try on our suede underwear if you choose              Ther's a rich man sleeping on a golden bed
Do what you want, but don't step on my blue suede shoes       There's a skeleton choking on a crust of bread

King of Suede                                                 King of pain

Don't miss out on our giant liquidation sale                  There's a red fox thorn by a huntsman's pack
(Is my size up there?)                                        That's my soul up there
Look for our color catalog in next week's mail                There's a black winged gull with a broken back
(Is my size up there?)                                        That's my soul up there
There's a sale on our double-knit slacks today                There's a little black spot on the sun today
It's the same old sale as yesterday                           It's the same old thing as yesterday

Thirty years in the same location I have stayed               I have stood here before inside the pouring rain
There I am, right next door to Willy's Fun Arcade             With the world turning circles running 'round my brain
I got tough competition but I'm not afraid                    I guess I'm always hoping that you'll end this reign
'Cause it's my destiny to be the King of Suede                But it's my destiny to be the king of pain

King of Suede                                                 King of pain
King of Suede                                                 King of pain
King of Suede                                                 King of pain
I'll always be King of Suede                                  I'll always be king of pain
I'll always be King of Suede                                  I'll always be king of pain




I Lost On Jeopardy : Our Love's In Jeopardy {Greg Kihn Band}

Ohhhhhh...
I was there, to match my intellect                            Where were you when I needed you
On national TV                                                Well you could not be found
Against a plumber, and an architect                           What can I do, oh I believed in you
Both with a Ph.D.                                             You're running me around
I was tense, I was nervous                                    Well you can take it as a warning
I guess it just wasn't my night                               Or take it anyway you like
Art Fleming gave the answers                                  It's the lightning, not the thunder
Oh, but I couldn't get the questions right-ight-ight          You never know where it's gonna strike

I lost on Jeopardy, baby, oooh                                Our love's in jeopardy, baby, ooh
I lost on Jeopardy, baby, oooh                                Our love's in jeopardy, baby, ooh

Well I knew I was in trouble now                              It's later than you think
My hope of winning sank                                       Oh what's the use
'Cause I got the Daily Double now                             Save your money now
And then my mind went blank                                   It's hanging on the brink
I took Potpourri for one hundred                              Don't let go while I'm hanging on
And then my head started to spin                              'Cause I've been hanging on so long
Well, I'm givin' up.  Don Pardo                               It's so hard to be all alone
Just tell me now what I didn't win                            I know you're not that strong
Yeah, yeah                                                    Yeah, yeah

I lost on Jeopardy, baby, oooh                                Our love's in jeopardy, baby, ooh
I lost on Jeopardy, baby, oooh                                Our love's in jeopardy, baby, ooh

That's right, Al, you lost!
And let me tell what you didn't win:
a twenty-volume set of the Encyclopedia International,
a case of Turtle Wax, and a year's supply of Rice-a-Roni,
the San Francisco treat.  But that's not all!
You also made yourself look like a jerk in front of
millions of people!  And you brought shame and disgrace
on your family name for generations to come!
You don't get to come back tomorrow!
You don't even get a lousy copy of our home game!
You're a complete loser!!

Don't know what I was thinkin' of                             Don't let go while I'm hanging on
I guess I just wasn't too bright                              'Cause I've been hanging on so long
Well, I sure hope I do better                                 It's so hard to be all alone
Next weekend on The Price Is Right-ight-ight                  I know you're not that strong, yeah, yeah

I lost on Jeopardy, baby, oooh                                Our love's in jeopardy, baby, ooh
I lost on Jeopardy, baby, oooh                                Our love's in jeopardy, baby, ooh




This is the Life : This is the Life





Yoda : Lola {The Kinks}

I met him in a swamp down in Dagobah                          I met her in a club down in old Soho
where it bubbles all the time                                 Where you drink champagne
like a giant carbonated soda                                  and it tastes just like cherry cola
S-O-D-A soda                                                  C-O-L-A cola

I saw the little runt sitting there on a log                  She walked up to me and she asked me to dance
well, I asked him his name                                    I asked her her name
and in a raspy voice he said Yoda                             and in a dark brown voice she said Lola
Y-O-D-A Yoda                                                  L-O-L-A Lola
Yo-Yo-Yo-Yo Yoda                                              Lo-Lo-Lo-Lo Lola

Well, I've been around but I ain't never seen                 Well I'm not the world's most physical guy
a guy who looks like a muppet but he's wrinkled and green     But when she sqeezed me tight she nearly broke my spine
Oh my Yoda                                                    Oh my Lola

Well I'm not dumb but I can't understand                      Well I'm not dumb but I can't understand
How he lifts up my ship just by raising his hand              Why she walked like a woman but talked like a man
Oh my Yoda                                                    Oh my Lola

Now, I left home just a week before                           Well we drank champagne and danced all night
and I ain't never been a Jedi before                          Under electric candlelight
but Obi-Wan said "You stay the course                         She picked me up and sat me on her knee
You go to Yoda and he'll show you the Force."                 And said "Little boy, won't you come home with me?"

Now, I'm not the kind that'll argue with Ben                  Well I'm not the world's most passionate guy
So it looks I'm gonna start all over again                    But when I looked in her eyes well I almost fell
with my Yoda                                                  For my Lola
Yo-Yo-Yo-Yo Yoda                                              Oh my Lola

So I picked up some rocks                                     I pushed her away
Just by using my head                                         I walked to the door
But I won't forget                                            I fell to the floor
what Yoda said, he said                                       I got down on my knees
"Luke, stay away from the darker side                         Then I looked at her and she at me
and if you start to go astray                                 Well that's the way that I want it to stay
let the Force be your guide."                                 And I always want it to be that way
Oh my Yoda                                                    For my Lola
Yo-Yo-Yo-Yo Yoda                                              Oh my Lola

He said, "I know Darth Vader's really got you annoyed         Girl will be boys and boys will be girls
But remember if you kill him then you'll be unemployed!"      It's a mixed up muddled up shook up world
Oh my Yoda                                                    Except for Lola
Yo-Yo-Yo-Yo Yoda                                              Lo-Lo-Lo-Lo Lola

Well, I heard my friends really got in a mess                 Well I'd left home just a week before
so it looks like I'll be leaving Yoda, I guess                And I'd never ever kissed a woman before
But I know that I'll be coming back some day                  But Lola smiled and took me by the hand
I'll be making these movies till I'm old and grey!            And said "Little boy, I'm gonna make you a man"

The long term contract I had to sign                          Well I'm not the world's most masculine man
means I'll be making these movies                             But I know what I am
Till the end of time                                          I'm glad I'm a man
with my Yoda                                                  And so is Lola
Yo-Yo-Yo-Yo Yoda                                              Lo-Lo-Lo-Lo Lola
Yo-Yo-Yo-Yo Yoda                                              Lo-Lo-Lo-Lo Lola




Like A Surgeon : Like A Virgin {Madonna}

I finally made it through med school                          I made it through the wilderness
Somehow I made it through                                     Somehow I made it through
I'm just an intern                                            Didn't know how lost I was
I still make a mistake or two                                 Until I found you

I was last in the class                                       I was beat incomplete
Barely passed at the institute                                I'd been had, I was sad and blue
Now I'm tryin' to avoid                                       But you made me feel
Yeah, I'm tryin' to avoid                                     Yeah, you made me feel
A malpractice suit                                            Shiny and new

Hey, like a surgeon                                           Like a virgin
Cuttin' for the very first time                               Touched for the very first time
Like a surgeon                                                Like a virgin
Organ transplants are my line                                 When your heart beats next to mine

Better give me all your gauze, nurse                          Gonna give you all my love, boy
This patient's fading fast                                    My fear is fading fast
Complications have set in                                     Been saving it all for you
Don't know how long he'll last                                'Cause only love can last

Let me see that I.V.                                          You're so fine and you're mine
Here we go, time to operate                                   Make me strong, yeah you make me bold
I'll pull his insides out                                     Oh your love thawed out
Pull his insides out                                          Yeah, your love thawed out
And see what he ate                                           What was scared and cold

Like a surgeon, hey!
Cuttin' for the very first time
Like a surgeon
Here's a waiver for you to sign
Wo-ho.  Wo-ho.  Wo-ho

It's a fact.  I'm a quack                                     You're so fine and you're mine
The disgrace of the A.M.A.                                    I'll be yours 'till the end of time
'Cause my patients die                                        'Cause you made me feel
Yeah, my patients die                                         Yeah, you made me feel
Before they can pay                                           I've nothing to hide

Like a surgeon, hey!
Cuttin' for the very first time.
Like a surgeon.
Got your kidneys on my mind.
Like a surgeon, ooh hoo, like a surgeon

When I reach inside                                           Feels so good inside
With my scalpel                                               When you hold me
And my forceps                                                and your heart beats
And retractors.                                               and you love me
Oh ho.  Oh ho.  Ooh, baby
Yeah, I can hear your heart beat                              Can't you hear my heart beat
For the very last time                                        For the very first time?




I Want A New Duck : I Want A New Drug {Huey Lewis & The News}

I want a new duck                                             I want a new drug
One that won't try to bite                                    One that won't make me sick
One that won't chew a hole in my socks                        One that won' make me crash my car
One that won't quack all night                                Or make me feel three feet thick

I want a new duck                                             I want a new drug
One with big webbed feet                                      One that won't hurt my head
One that knows how to wash my car                             One that won't make my mouth too dry
And keep his room real neat                                   Or make my eyes too red

One that won't raid the ice box                               One that won't make me nervous
One that'll stay in shape                                     Wondering what to do
One that's never gonna try to migrate or escape               One that makes me feel like I feel when I'm with you
Or I'll tie him up with duck tape                             When I'm alone with you

I want a new duck                                             I want a new drug
A mallard, I think                                            One that won't spill
One that won't make a mess of my house                        One that don't cost too much
Or build a nest in the bathroom sink                          Or come in a pill

I want a new duck                                             I want a new drug
One that won't steal my beer                                  One that won't go away
One that won't stick his bill in my mail                      One that won't keep me up all night
One that knows "The duck stops here"                          One that won't make me sleep all day

One that won't drive me crazy                                 One that won't make me nervous
Waddling all around                                           Wondering what to do
One who'll teach me how to swim and help me not to drown      One that makes me feel like I feel when I'm with you
And show me how to get down                                   When I'm alone with you
"How to get down", baby.  Get it?                             I'm alone with you baby

(quack, quack, quack, quack, quack)

I want a new duck                                             I want a new drug
Not a swan or a goose                                         One that does what it should
Just a drake I can dress real cute                            One that won't make me feel too bad
Think I'm gonna name him Bruce                                One that won't make me feel too good

I want a new duck                                             I want a new drug
Not a quail or an owl                                         One with no doubt
One that won't molt too much                                  One that won't make me talk too much
One that won't smell too foul                                 Or make my face break out

One that won't beg for breadcrumbs                            One that won't make me nervous
Hangin' around all day                                        Wondering what to do
He'd better mind his manners, better do just what I say       One that makes me feel like I feel when I'm with you
Or he's gonna be duck pate'                                   When I'm alone with you
Duck pate', yeah yeah




One More Minute

Well, I heard that you're leavin'
Gonna leave me far behind (so far behind)
'Cause you found a brand new lover
You decided that I'm not your kind

So I pulled your name out of my Rolodex
And I tore all your pictures in two
And I burned down the malt shop where we used to go
Just because it reminds me of you

That's right (that's right), you ain't gonna see me cryin'
I'm glad (I'm glad) that you found somebody new
'Cause I'd rather spend eternity eating shards of broken glass
Than spend one more minute with you

I guess I might seem kinda bitter
You got me feelin' down in the dumps
'Cause I'm stranded all alone in the Gas Station of Love
And I have to use the self-service pumps

Oh, so honey, let me help you with that suitcase
You ain't (you ain't) gonna break my heart in two
'Cause I'd rather get a hundred thousand paper cuts on my face
Than spend one more minute with you

I'd rather rip out my intestines with a fork
Than watch you going out with other men
I'd rather slam my fingers in a door
Again and again and again and again and again

Aw, can't you see what I'm tryin' to say, darlin'

I'd rather have my blood sucked out by leeches
Shove an ice pick under a toenail or two
I'd rather clean all the bathrooms in Grand Central Station with my tongue
Than spend one more minute with you

Yes, I'd rather jump naked on a huge pile of thumbtacks
Or stick my nostrils together with Krazy Glue
I'd rather dive into a swimming pool filled with double-edged razor blades
Than spend one more minute with you

I'd rather rip my heart right out of my rib cage with my bare hands
And then throw it on the floor and stomp on it till I die
Than spend one more minute with you




Living With a Hernia : Living in America {James Brown}

.                                                             Yeah, uh! Get up, now! Ow! Knock out this!

All I do is grunt and groan                                   Super highways, coast to coast
Hurts me to walk anywhere                                     Easy to get anywhere
Went to see my physician, Dr. Jones                           On the transcontinental overload, just slide behind the wheel
He took my trousers off, told me to cough                     How does it feel
Doctor says there ain't nothin' to discuss                    When there's no destination - that's too far
He tells me any day I might have to wear a truss              And somewhere on the way, you might find out who you are

Living with a hernia                                          Living in America
All the time, such aggravation                                Eye to eye, station to station
Living with a hernia                                          Living in America
Gonna be my ruination                                         Hand to hand, across the nation
Living with a hernia                                          Living in America
Got to have an operation                                      Got to have a celebration
Feel so old                                                   Rock my soul

Too much bad pain                                             Smokestack, fatback
Good gawd, drives me insane                                   Many miles of railroad track
Can't run, barely crawl                                       All night radio, keep on runnin' through your rock 'n' roll soul
Got a bulge in my intestinal wall                             All night diners keep you awake, hey, on black coffee and a hard roll
Walk real funny, bless my soul
Can't play tennis and it's hard to bowl                       You might have to walk the fine line, you might take the hard line
You can't even do the splits now...Better call it quits now   But everybody's working overtime
I'm sick of all this dancin' anyhow
.                                                             (chorus)
Living with a hernia
Hurts me bad in a tender location                             I live in America, help me out, but I live in America, wait a minute
Living with a hernia
Had enough humiliation                                        You might not be looking for the promised land, but you might find it anyway
Living with a hernia                                          Under one of those old familiar names
Got to have an operation                                      Like New Orleans (New Orleans), Detroit City (Detroit City), Dallas (Dallas)
.                                                             Pittsburg P.A. (Pittsburg P.A.), New York City (New York City)
I live with a hernia                                          Kansas City (Kansas City), Atlanta (Atlanta), Chicago and L.A.
Can't get up, can't bend over
Now I live with a hernia                                      Living in America - hit me - living in America - yeah, I walk in and out
Wait a minute...                                              Living in America
You may not be familiar with the common types
Of hernias that you could get                                 I live in America - state lines, gonna make the prime, that
So just settle down, let me clue you in                       I live in America - hey, I know what it means, I
There's incomplete
Epigastric                                                    Living in America - Eddie Murphy, eat your heart out
Bladder                                                       Living in America - hit me, I said now, eye to eye, station to station
Strangulated                                                  Living in America - so nice, with your bare self
Lumbar hernia                                                 Living in America - I feel good!
Richter's hernia
Obstructed
Inguinal and Direct

Living with a hernia...Rupture!
I said it's causin' me such irritation
Living with a hernia
Have to have my medication
Living with a hernia
I feel bad!




Fat : Bad {Michael Jackson}

Your butt is wide, well mine is too                           Your butt is mine, gonna tell you right
Just watch your mouth, or I'll sit on you                     Just show your face in broad daylight
The word is out, better treat me right                        I'm telling you on how I feel
Cause I'm the king of cellulite                               Gonna hurt your mind don't shoot to kill
Ham on ham on ham on whole wheat, all right                   Cause I run UPT, lay it on me, all right

My zippers bust, my buckles break                             I'm giving you on count of three
I'm too much man for you to take                              To show your stuff or let it be
The pavement cracks when I fall down                          I'm telling you just watch your mouth
I've got more chins than Chinatown                            I know your game what you're about

Well I've never used a phone booth                            Well they say the sky's the limit
And I've never seen my toes                                   And to me that's really true
When I'm goin' to the movies                                  But my friend you have seen nothin'
I take up seven rows                                          Just wait 'til I get through

Because I'm fat, I'm fat--come on                             Because I'm bad, I'm bad, 'cause I run UPT
(Fat fat--really really fat)                                  (Bad bad-really, really bad)
You know I'm fat, I'm fat--you know it                        You know I'm bad, I'm bad, you know it
(Fat fat--really really fat)                                  (Bad bad-really, really bad)
You know I'm fat, I'm fat--come on you know                   You know I'm bad, I'm bad, 'cause I run UPT, you know
(Fat fat--really really fat)                                  (Bad bad-really, really bad)
Don'tcha call me pudgy, portly or stout                       And the whole world has to answer right now
Just tell me once again: who's fat?                           Just to tell you once again: who's bad?

When I walk out to get my mail                                The word is out you're doin' wrong
It measures on the Richter scale                              Gonna lock you up before too long
Down at the beach I'm a lucky man                             Your lyin' eyes gonna tell you right
I'm the only one who gets a tan                               So listen up don't make a fight
If I have one more pie a la mode                              Your talk is cheap you're not a man
I'm gonna need my own zip code                                You're throwin' stones to hide your hands

When you're only having seconds                               But they say the sky's the limit
I'm having twenty-thirds                                      And to me that's really true
When I go to get my shoes shined                              And my friends you have seen nothin'
I gotta take their word                                       Just wait 'til I get through

Because I'm fat, I'm fat--come on                             Because I'm bad, I'm bad 'cause I run UPT
(Fat fat--really really fat)                                  (Bad bad-really, really bad)
You know I'm fat, I'm fat--you know it                        You know I'm bad, I'm bad, you know it
(Fat fat--really really fat)                                  (Bad bad-really, really bad)
You know I'm fat, I'm fat--you know it you know               You know I'm bad, I'm bad, you know it, you know
(Fat fat--really really fat)                                  (Bad bad-really, really bad)
And my shadow weighs forty-two pounds                         And the whole world has to answer right now
Just tell me once again: who's fat?                           Just to tell you once again: who's bad?

If you see me comin' your way                                 We can change the world tomorrow
Better give me plenty space                                   This could be a better place
If I tell you that I'm hungry                                 If you don't like what I'm sayin'
Then won't you feed my face                                   Then won't you slap my face

Because I'm fat, I'm fat--come on                             Because I'm bad, I'm bad 'cause I run UPT
(Fat fat--really really fat)                                  (Bad bad-really, really bad)
You know I'm fat, I'm fat--you know it                        You know I'm bad, I'm bad, you know it
(Fat fat--really really fat)                                  (Bad bad-really, really bad)
You know I'm fat, I'm fat--you know it you know               You know I'm bad, I'm bad, you know it, you know
(Fat fat--really really fat)                                  (Bad bad-really, really bad)
Woo woo woo.  When I sit around the house
I really sit around the house

You know I'm fat, I'm fat--come on
(Fat fat--really really fat)
You know I'm fat, I'm fat--you know it, you know it
(Fat fat--really really fat)
You know you know you know--come on
(Fat fat--really really fat)
And you know all by myself I'm a crowd
Lemme tell you once again

You know I'm huge, I'm fat, you know it
(Fat fat--really really fat)
You know I'm fat--you know, hoo
(Fat fat--really really fat)
You know I'm fat, I'm fat--you know it, you know
(Fat fat--really really fat)
And the whole world knoes I'm fat and I'm proud
Just tell me once again--who's fat?




Lasagna : La Bamba {traditional}

La-la-la-la-lasagna.
You want-a some-a lasagna, magnifico
Or a-maybe spaghetti!
Ay, you supper's a-ready now, where you go?
Mama mia bambino!
Mama mia bambino, 'samatta you?
'Samatta you, 'samatta you?

You should-a taste my lasagna.
Ay, you no like-a lasagna
That's okay too.
How about-a calzone?
Some-a nice minestrone, atsa good for you.
Have-a some marinara.
Have-a some marinara, I know-a you like.
I know-a you like, I know-a you like.

La-lasagna!
La-lasagna!
La-lasagna!

Would you like some-a zucchini?
Or-a my homemade linguini, it's hard-a to beat.
Have-a more fettucini.
Ay, you getting too skeeny, you gotta to eat.
Ay, mange, mange!

Ay, you-a pass the lasagna!
A-don't you get any on ya, you sloppy peeg.
Have-a more ravioli.
You-a get roly poly, a-nice and-a beeg.
Like you cousin Luigi.
Luigi, Luigi, capisce paisan?
Capisce paisan, capisce paisan?

La-lasagna!
La-lasagna!
La-lasagna!
La-lasagna!




I Think I'm A Clone Now : I Think We're Alone Now {Tiffany}

Isn't it strange...? Feels like I'm lookin' in the mirror
What would people say...if only they knew that I was
Part of some geneticist's plan
Born to be a carbon copy man
There in a petri dish late one night
They took a donor's body cell and fertilized a human egg and so I say...

I think I'm a clone now
There's always two of me just a-hangin' around
I think I'm a clone now
'Cause every chromosome is a hand-me-down

Look at the way...we go out walking close together
I guess you could say...I'm really beside myself
I still remember how it began
They produced a carbon copy man
Born in a science lab late one night
Without a mother or a father
Just a test tube and a womb with a view...

I think I'm a clone now
There's always two of me just a-hangin' around
I think I'm a clone now
'Cause every chromosome is a hand-me-down
I think I'm a clone now
And I can stay at home while I'm out of town
I think I'm a clone now
'Cause every pair of genes is a hand-me-down

Signing autographs for my fans
Come and meet the carbon copy man
Livin' in stereo, it's all right
Well I can be my own best friend and I can send myself for pizza, so I say...

I think I'm a clone now
Another one of me's always hangin' around
I think I'm a clone now
'Cause every chromosome is a hand-me-down
I think I'm a clone now
I've been on Oprah Winfrey, I'm world renowned
I think I'm a clone now
And every pair of genes is a hand-me-down
I think I'm a clone now
Thats my genetic twin always hangin' around
I think I'm a clone now
'Cause every chromosome is a hand-me-down




Money For Nothing/Beverly Hillbillies : Money For Nothing {Dire Straits}

Beverly.
Beverly Hillbillies.

Now, looka here, people, listen to my story
A little story 'bout a man named Jed.
You know somethin', that poor mountaineer
They say he barely kept his family fed.
Now lemme tell ya, one day he was shootin'.
Ol' Jed was shootin' at some food.
When all of a sudden, right up from the ground there
Well, there came a bubblin' crude.

Oil, that is.  Well, maybe you call it
Black gold or Texas tea.
He gonna move next to Mr. Drysdale
And be a Beverly Hillbilly.

Before you know it, all the kinfolk are a-sayin'
Yeah, Buddy, move away from there.
That litle Clampett got his own cee-ment pond.
That little Clampett, he's a millionaire.

Now everyone said Californy
Is the place that you oughta be.
We got to load up this here truck now.
We got to move to Beverly.
Hills, that is.
Swimmin' pools
Move-a-move-a-movie stars.
Huh, looka that looka that.
(beverly, beverly, beverly hillbilly)
Y'all come back now, hear?
(beverly, beverly, beverly hillbilly)
(beverly, beverly, beverly hillbilly)




Isle Thing : Wild Thing {Tone Loc}

Met this fine young thing at the local Circle K.
She made a date for a half past eight, and I said, "What the hey."
So I journeyed to her crib, and I let myself inside.
That chick was slouched down on the couch.  I think her brain was fried.
Couldn't figure it out, she wouldn't even look at me.
Then I saw her eyes, she was hypnotized.  Cold glued to her TV.
Said, "What's your problem, baby doll?  Let's have a little fling."
She said, "Hey, you fool, now just be cool.
I'm watchin' that Gilligan's Isle Thing."

Isle Thing.
Isle Thing.

Watchin' all night.  Must've been a marathon.
I was bummin', those shows kept comin'.  Here's what was goin' on.
These castaways were stranded on this island out at sea.
One of 'em called Gilligan said, "Let's name it after me!"
He'd mess up every rescue.  Man, that first mate was illin'.
If I was one of them castaways, I think I'd probably kill him.
Just about that time, the telephone began to ring.
She said, "Just let it, my machine'll get it.
We're watchin' the Gilligan's Isle Thing."

Isle Thing.
She loves that Gilligan's Isle Thing.
Isle Thing.
Please, baby baby, please.

I liked the professor.  He always saved their butts.
He could build a nuclear reactor from a couple of coconuts.
She said, "That guy's a genius."  I shook my head and laughed.
I said, "If he's so fly, then tell me why he couldn't build a lousy raft?

And while we're on the subject, I'll tell you one thing for sure.
Those homeboys brought an awful lot for just a three-hour tour."
Then her mom came in the room.  It was kind of embarrassing.
She said, "Hey, you two, I was once like you
And I love that Gilligan's Isle Thing."

Isle Thing.
She'd watch that Gilligan's Isle Thing.
Please, baby baby, please.

Skipper's in a hammock.  He's lookin' kinda fat.
He'd throw a fit and then he'd hit ol' Gilligan with his hat.
Mrs. Howell got it goin' on, but Mr. Howell was meaner.
Ginger and Mary Ann could've used some funky cold medina.
I was really diggin' this show.  I didn't know what to do.
It kinda looked like I was hooked.  Now I'm an addict too.
I know each episode by heart.  Now I'm the Rerun King.
And on every date we both say up late
And watch the Gilligan's Isle Thing.

Isle Thing.
Hasta la vista, Little Buddy.
Gilligan's Isle Thing.




Smells Like Nirvana : Smells Like Teen Spirit {Nirvana}

What is this song all about?
Can't figure any lyrics out
How do the words to it go?
I wish you'd tell me, I don't know
Don't know, don't know, don't know, oh no
Dnn't know, don't know, don't know

Now I'm mumblin' and I'm screamin'
And I don't know what I'm singin'
Crank the volume, ears are bleedin'
I still don't know what I'm singin'
We're so loud and incoherent
Boy this oughtta bug your parents
Yeah

It's un-in-tel-ligible
I just can't get it through  my skull
It's hard to bargle nawdle zouss(?)
With all these marbles in my mouth
Don't know, don't know, don't know, oh no
Don't know, don't know, don't know...

Well we don't sound like Madonna
Here we are now, we're Nirvana
Sing distinctly? We don't wanna
Buy our album, we're Nirvana
A garage band from Seattle
Well, it sure beats raising cattle
Yeah

And I forgot the next verse
Oh well, I guess it pays to rehearse
The lyric sheet's so hard to find
What are the words? Oh, never mind
Don't know, don't know, don't know, oh no
Don't know, don't know don't know...

Well, I'm yellin' and we're playin'
But I don't know what I'm sayin'
What's the message I'm conveyin'?
Can you tell me what I'm sayin'?
So have you got some idea?
Didn't think so, well, I'll see ya!
Sayonara, sayonara
Ayonawa, adinawa
Odinaya, yodinaya
Yaddayadda, yaaahyaaah
Ayaaaaah!




Jurassic Park : MacArthur Park {Jimmy Webb,Richard Harris}

I recall the time they found those fossilized mosquitos       Spring was never waiting for us, girl
And before long they were cloning DNA                         It ran one step ahead as we followed in the dance
Now I'm being chased by some irate velociraptors              Between the parted pages and were pressed
Well believe me...this has been one lousy day                 In love's hot, fevered iron like a striped pair of pants

Jurassic Park is frightening in the dark                      MacArthur's Park is melting in the dark
All the dinosaurs are running wild                            All the sweet, green icing flowing down
Someone shut the fence off in the rain                        Someone left the cake out in the rain
I admit it's kinda eerie                                      I don't think that I can take it
But this proves my chaos theory                               'cause it took so long to bake it
And I don't think I'll be coming back again                   And I'll never have that recipe again
Oh no                                                         Oh, no!

I cannot approve of this attraction                           I recall the yellow cotton dress
'Cause getting disemboweled always makes me kinda mad         Foaming like a wave on the ground around your knees
A huge tyrannosaurus ate our lawyer                           The birds, like tender babies in your hands
Well I suppose that proves they're really not all bad         And the old men playing checkers by the trees

Jurassic Park is frightening in the dark                      [chorus]
All the dinosaurs are running wild
Someone let T. Rex out of his pen
I'm afraid those things'll harm me
'Cause they sure don't act like Barney
And they think that I'm their dinner, not their friend
Oh no

Jurassic Park is frightening in the dark                      There will be another song for me
All the dinosaurs are running wild                            For I will sing it
What a crummy weekend this has been                           There will be another dream for me
Well this sure ain't no E-ticket                              Someone will bring it
Think I'll tell 'em where to stick it                         I will drink the wine while it is warm
'Cause I'm never coming back this way again                   And never let you catch me looking at the sun
Oh no...oh no                                                 And after all the loves of my life
.                                                             After all the loves of my life
.                                                             You'll still be the one.

.                                                             I will take my life into my hands and I will use it
.                                                             I will win the worship in their eyes and I will lose it
.                                                             I will have the things that I desire
.                                                             And my passion flow like rivers through the sky.
.                                                             And after all the loves of my life
.                                                             After all the loves of my life
.                                                             I'll be thinking of you
.                                                             And wondering why.




Achy Breaky Song : Achy Breaky Heart {Billy Ray Cyrus}

You can torture me                                            You can tell the world
with Donny and Marie                                          You never was my girl
You can play some Barry Manilow                               You can burn my clothes up when I'm gone
You can play some schlock                                     You can tell your friends
Like New Kids on the Block                                    Just what a fool I've been
Or any Village People song you know                           And laugh and joke about me on the phone

Or play Vanilla Ice                                           You can tell my arms
Hey, you can play him twice                                   Go back to the farm
And you can play the Bee Gees any day                         You can tell my feet to hit the floor
But Mr. D.J. please                                           Or you can tell my lips
I'm beggin' on my knees                                       To tell my fingertips
I just can't take no more of Billy Ray                        They won't be reaching out for you no more

Don't play that song                                          But don't tell my heart
That "Achy Breaky" song                                       My achy breaky heart
The most annoying song I know                                 I just don't think he'd understand
And if you play that song                                     And if you tell my heart
That "Achy Breaky" song                                       My achy breaky heart
I might blow up my radio                                      He might blow up and kill this man

You can clear the room                                        You can tell your Ma
By playing Debbie Boone                                       I moved to Arkansas
Or crank your ABBA records until dawn                         You can tell your dog to bite my leg
Oh, I could even bear                                         Or tell your brother Cliff
Slim Whitman or Zamfir                                        whose fist can tell my lip
Don't mind a Yoko Ono marathon                                He never really liked me anyway

Or play some Tiffany                                          Or tell your Aunt Louise
On 8-track or CD                                              Tell anything you please
Or scrape your fingernails across the board                   Myself already knows I'm not okay
Or tie me to a chair                                          Or you can tell my eyes
And kick me down the stairs                                   To watch out for my mind
Just please don't play that stupid song no more               It might be walking out on me today

Don't play that song                                          But don't tell my heart
That "Achy Breaky" song                                       My achy breaky heart
You know I hate that song a bunch                             I just don't think he'd understand
And if you play that song                                     And if you tell my heart
That nauseating song                                          My achy breaky heart
It might just make me lose my lunch                           He might blow up and kill this man

But don't play that song                                      But don't tell my heart
That "Achy Breaky" song                                       My achy breaky heart
I think it's driving me insane                                I just don't think he'd understand
Oh, please don't play that song                               And if you tell my heart
That irritating song                                          My achy breaky heart
I'd rather have a pitchfork in my brain                       He might blow up and kill this man




Headline News : Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm {Crash Test Dummies}

Once there was this kid who                                   Once there was this kid who
Took a trip to Singapore                                      Got into an accident
And brought along his spraypaint                              And couldn't come to school
And when he finally came back                                 But when he finally came back
He had cane marks all over his bottom                         His hair had turned from black into bright white
He said that it was from when                                 He said that it was from when
The warden whacked it so hard                                 The cars had smashed him so hard

Mmm mmm mmm mmm                                               Mmm mmm mmm mmm
Mmm mmm mmm mmm                                               Mmm mmm mmm mmm

Once there was this girl who                                  Once there was this girl who
Swore that one day she would be                               Wouldn't go and change with the
A figure skating champion                                     girls in the change room
And when she finally made it                                  But when they finally made her
She saw some other girl who was better                        They saw birthmarks all over her body
So she hired some guy                                         She couldn't quite explain it
To club her in the kneecap                                    They'd always just been there

Mmm mmm mmm mmm                                               Mmm mmm mmm mmm
Mmm mmm mmm mmm                                               Mmm mmm mmm mmm

They got paid for their sound-bites                           But both the girl and boy were glad
And sold their TV movie rights                                'Cause one kid had it worse than that

And then there was this guy who                               'Cause then there was this boy whose
Made his wife so mad one night                                Parents made him come directly home
That she cut off his weiner                                   Right after school
And when he finally came to                                   And when they went to the church
He found that Mr. Happy was missing                           They shook and lurched all over the church floor
He couldn't quite explain                                     He couldn't quite explain
It had always just been there                                 They'd always just gone there

Mmm mmm mmm mmm                                               Mmm mmm mmm mmm
Mmm mmm mmm mmm                                               Mmm mmm mmm mmm




Amish Paradise : Gangsta's Paradise {Coolio}

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain         As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain         I take a look at my life and realise there's nuthin' left
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me                  'Cuz I've been blasting and laughing so long
You know, I shun fancy things like electricity                That even my mama thinks that my mind is gone

At four-thirty in the morning I'm milkin' cows                But I ain't never crossed a man that didn't deserve it
Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows... fool           Me be treated like a punk?  You know that's unheard of
And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that                You better watch how you're talking, and where you're walking
Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone                      Or you and your homies might be lined in chalk

I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline                    I really hate to trip but i gotta loc
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin                 As I grow I see myself in the pistol smoke, fool
But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine         I'm the kinda G the little homies wanna be like
Then tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699                 on my knees in the night, saying prayers in the streetlight.

We've been spending most our lives                            Been spending most their lives
Living in an Amish paradise                                   Living in the gangsta's paradise
I've churned butter once or twice                             Been spending most their lives
Living in an Amish paradise                                   Living in the gangsta's paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice                                  Been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish paradise                                   Living in the gangsta's paradise
We sell quilts at discount price                              Been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish paradise                                   Living in the gangsta's paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week                   The ghetto situation, they got me facin'
I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek             I can't live a normal life, I was raised by the stripes
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well                  So I gotta be down with the hood team
'Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in hell Too much television watching got me chasing dreams

But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it    I'm an educated fool with money on my mind
An Amish with a 'tude?  You know that's unheard of            Got my tin in my hand and a gleam in my eye
I never wear buttons, but I got a cool hat                    I'm a loc'd out gangsta set trippin' banger
And my homeys agree I really look good in black... fool       And my homies is down so don't arouse my anger, fool

If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears                Death ain't nothing but a heartbeat away
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years              I'm living life, do or die, what can I say
But we ain't really quaint so please don't point and stare    I'm 23 now, but will I live to see 24
We're just technologically impaired                           The way things are going I don't know

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcar                      Tell me why are we, so blind to see
Not a single luxury                                           That the one's we hurt, are you and me
Like Robinson Caruso
It's as primitive as can be

We've been spending most our lives                            Been spending most their lives
Living in an Amish paradise                                   Living in the gangsta's paradise
We're just plain and simple guys                              Been spending most their lives
Living in an Amish paradise                                   Living in the gangsta's paradise
There's no time for sin and vice                              Been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish paradise                                   Living in the gangsta's paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice                              Been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish Paradise                                   Living in the gangsta's paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter                Power and the money, money and the power
Raise a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise anutter               Minute after minute, hour after hour
Think you're really righteous?  Think you're pure in heart?   Everybody's running, but half of them ain't looking
Well, I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art        What's going on in the kitchen, but I don't know what's cookin'

I'm the pious guy                                             They say I gotta learn
The little Amlettes wanna be like                             But nobody's here to teach me
On my knees day and night                                     If they can't understand it
Scorin' points for the afterlife                              How can they reach me
So don't be vain and don't be whiny                           I guess they can't, I guess they won't
Or else, my brother,                                          I guess they front, that's why I know
I might have to get medieval on your heinie                   My life is out of luck, fool

We've been spending most our lives                            Been spending most their lives
Living in an Amish paradise                                   Living in the gangsta's paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites                                    Been spending most their lives
Living in an Amish paradise                                   Living in the gangsta's paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights                             Been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish paradise                                   Living in the gangsta's paradise
But you'd probably think it bites                             Been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish paradise                                   Living in the gangsta's paradise




The Saga Begins : American Pie (Don McLean)

A long long time ago
in a galaxy far away
Naboo was under an attack
And I thought me and Qui-Gon Jinn
Could talk the Federation in
To maybe cutting them a little slack
But their response, it didn't thrill us
They locked the doors and tried to kill us
We escaped from that gas
Then met Jar Jar and Boss Nass

We took a bongo from the scene
And we went to Theed to see the queen
We all wound up on Tatooine
That's where we found this boy...

Oh my my, this here Anakin guy
May be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry
And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin' "Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"
"Soon I'm gonna be a Jedi"

Did you know this junkyard slave
Isn't even old enough to shave
But he can use the Force they say
Ahh, do you see him hitting on the queen
Though he's just nine and she's fourteen
Yeah, he's probably gonna marry her someday
Well, I know he built C-3PO
And I've heard how fast his pod can go
And we were broke, it's true
So we made a wager or two
He was a prepubescent flyin' ace
And the minute Jabba started off that race
Well, I knew who would win first place
Oh yes, it was our boy

We started singin'...

[chorus]

Now we finally got to Coruscant
The Jedi Council we knew would want
To see how good the boy could be
So we took him there and we told the tale
How his midi-chlorians were off the scale
And he might fulfill that prophecy
Oh, the Council was impressed, of course
Could he bring balance to the Force?
They interviewed the kid
Oh, but training they forbid
Because Yoda sensed in him much fear
And Qui-Gon said, "Now listen here
Just stick it in your pointy ear
I still will teach this boy"

He was singin'...

[chorus]

We caught a ride back to Naboo
'Cause Queen Amidala wanted to
I frankly would've liked to stay
We all fought in that epic war
And it wasn't long at all before
Little Hotshot flew his plane and saved the day
And in the end some Gungans died
Some ships blew up and some pilots fried
A lot of folks were croakin'
The battle droids were broken
And the Jedi I admired most
Met up with Darth Maul and now he's toast
Well, I'm still here and he's a ghost
I guess I'll train this boy

And I was singin'...

[chorus]

We were singin'...

[chorus]




White & Nerdy : Ridin' (Chamillionaire and Krayzie Bone)

They see me mowin'... my front lawn                           They see me rollin
I know they're all thinkin' I'm so white & nerdy              They hatin
Think I'm just too white & nerdy                              Patrolling they tryin to catch me ridin dirty
Think I'm just too white & nerdy                              Tryin to catch me ridin dirty
Can't ya see I'm white & nerdy?                               Tryin to catch me ridin dirty
Look at me, I'm white & nerdy                                 Tryin to catch me ridin dirty
I wanna roll with... the gangstas                             Tryin to catch me ridin dirty
But so far they all think I'm too white and nerdy             My music so loud
Think I'm just too white & nerdy                              I'm swangin
Think I'm just too white & nerdy                              They hopin that they gon catch me ridin dirty
I'm just too white & nerdy                                    Tryin to catch me ridin dirty
Really, really white & nerdy                                  Tryin to catch me ridin dirty
Tryin to catch me ridin dirty
First in my class there at MIT                                Tryin to catch me ridin dirty
Got skills, I'm a champion at D&D
MC Escher, that's my favorite MC                              Police think they can see me lean
Keep your 40, I'll just have an Earl Grey tea                 I'm tint so it ain't easy to be seen
My rims never spin - to the contrary                          When you see me ride by they can see the glean
You'll find that they're quite stationary                     And my shine on the deck and the TV screen
All of my action figures are cherry                           Ride with a new chick, she like hold up
Stephen Hawking's in my library                               Next to the playstation controller is a full clip and my pistola
My MySpace page is all totally pimped out                     Turn a jacker into a coma
Got people beggin' for my Top 8 spaces                        Girl you ain't know, I'm crazy like Krayzie Bone
Yo, I know pi to a thousand places                            Just tryin to bone ain't tryin to have no babies
Ain't got no grills, but I still wear braces                  Rock clean itself so I pull in ladies
I order all of my sandwiches with mayonnaise                  Laws of patrolling you know they hate me
I'm a whiz at Minesweeper, I could play for days              Music turned all the way up until the maximum
Once you see my sweet moves, you're gonna stay amazed         I can speak for some niggas tryin to jack for some
My fingers movin' so fast, I'll set the place ablaze          But we packin somethin that we have and um will have a nigga locked up in the maximum
There's no killer app I haven't run                           Security cell, I'm grippin oak
At Pascal, well, I'm number one                               Music loud and tippin slow
Do vector calculus just for fun                               Twist and twistin like hit this dough
I ain't got a gat but I got a soldering gun                   Pull up from behind and is in his throat
"Happy Days" is my favorite theme song                        Windows down gotta stop pollution
I could sure kick your butt in a game of ping pong            CDs change niggas like who is that producing?
I'll ace any trivia quiz you bring on                         This the Play-N-Skillz when we out and cruisin
I'm fluent in JavaScript as well as Klingon                   Got warrants in every city except Houston but I'm still ain't losin
Here's the part I sing on...
[chorus]
They see me roll on... my Segway
I know in my heart they think I'm white & nerdy               I been drinkin and smokin holdin shit cause a brother can't focus
Think I'm just too white & nerdy                              I gotta get to home 'fore the po po's scope this big ol Excursion swerving all up in the curve man
Think I'm just too white & nerdy                              Nigga been sippin on that Hennessey and the gin again is in again we in the wind
Can't ya see I'm white & nerdy?                               Doin a hundred while I come from the block
Look at me, I'm white & nerdy                                 And rollin another one up, we livin like we ain't givin a fuck
I'd like to roll with... the gangstas                         I got a revolver in my right hand, 40 oz on my lap freezing my balls
Although it's apparent I'm too white and nerdy                Roll a nigga tree, green leaves and all
Think I'm just too white & nerdy                              Comin up pretty deep, me and my do-jo
Think I'm just too white & nerdy                              I gotta get back to backstreets
I'm just too white & nerdy                                    Wanted by the six pound and I got heat glock glock shots to the block we creep creep
How'd I get so white & nerdy?                                 Pop Pop hope cops don't see me, on a low key
With no regards for the law we dodge em like fuck em all
I've been browsin', inspectin'                                But I won't get caught up and brought up on charges for none of y'all
X-Men comics, you know I collect 'em                          Keep a gun in car, and a blunt to spark, but well if you want, nigga you poppin dark
The pens in my pocket, I must protect 'em                     Ready or not we bust shots off in the air Krayzie Bone and Chamillionaire
My ergonomic keyboard never leaves me bored
Shoppin' online for deals on some writable media              [chorus]
I edit Wikipedia
I memorized "Holy Grail" really well                          Do what you thinkin so, I tried to let you go
I can recite it right now and have you ROTFLOL                Turn up a blink of light and I swang it slower
I got a business doin' web sites                              A nigga upset for sure cause they think they know that they catchin me with plenty of the drinkin drough
When my friends need some code, who do they call?             So they get behind me tryin to check my tags, look at my rearview and they smilin
I do HTML for 'em all                                         Thinkin they'll catch me on the wrong well keep tryin
Even made a home page for my dog                              Cause they denyin is racial profiling
Yo, I got myself a fanny pack                                 Houston, TX you can check my tags
They were havin' a sale down at The Gap                       Pull me over try to check my slab
Spend my nights with a roll of bubble wrap                    Glove compartment gotta get my cash
Pop pop, hope no one sees me... gettin' freaky                Cause the crooked cops try to come up fast
I'm nerdy in the extreme and whiter than sour cream           And been a baller that I am I talk to them, giving a damn bout not feeling my attitude
I was in A/V Club and Glee Club and even the chess team       When they realize I ain't even ridin dirty bet you'll be leavin with an even madder mood
Only question I ever thought was hard                         I'mma laugh at you then I'mma have to cruise I'm in number two on some more DJ Screw
Was, do I like Kirk or do I like Picard?                      You can't arrest me plus you can't sue
Spend every weekend at the Renaissance Faire                  This a message to the laws tellin them WE HATE YOU
Got my name on my underwear                                   I can't be toss or tell em that they shoulda known
Tippin down sittin crooked on my chrome
They see me strollin'... they laughin'                        Bookin my phone tryin to find a chick I wanna bone
And rollin' their eyes 'cause I'm so white & nerdy            Like they couldn't stop me I'mma bout to pull up at your home and it's on
Just because I'm white & nerdy
Just because I'm white & nerdy
All because I'm white & nerdy
Holy cow, I'm white & nerdy
I wanna bowl with... the gangstas
But oh well, it's obvious I'm white and nerdy
Think I'm just too white & nerdy
Think I'm just too white & nerdy
I'm just too white & nerdy
Look at me, I'm white & nerdy




eBay : I want it that way {The Backstreet Boys}

Yeah ...                                                      Yeah ...

A used ... pink bathrobe                                      You are ... my fire
A rare ... mint snowglobe                                     The one ... desire
A Smurf ... TV tray                                           Believe when I say
I bought on eBay                                              I want it that way

My house ... is filled with this crap                         But we ... are two worlds apart
Shows up in bubble wrap                                       Can't reach to your heart
Most every day                                                When you say:
What I bought on eBay                                         That I want it that way.

Tell me why I need another pet rock?                          Tell me why ... ain't nothin' but a heartache
Tell me why I got that Alf alarm clock?                       Tell me why ... ain't nothin' but a mistake
Tell me why I bid on Shatner's old toupee?                    Tell me why ... I never wanna hear you say
They had it on eBay                                           I want it that way

I'll buy ... your knick-knack                                 Am I ... your fire?
Just check ... my feedback                                    Your one ... desire?
"A++!" they all say                                           Yes I know, it's too late
They love me on eBay                                          But I want it that way

Gonna buy a slightly-damaged golf bag                         Tell me why ... ain't nothin' but a heartache
Gonna buy some Beanie Babies, new with tag                    Tell me why ... ain't nothin' but a mistake
From some guy I've never met in Norway                        Tell me why ... I never wanna hear you say
I found him on eBay                                           I want it that way

I am the type who is liable to snipe you                      Now I can see that we've fallen apart
With two seconds left to go, whoa                             From the way that it used to be, yeah
Got PayPal or Visa, whatever'll please ya                     No matter the distance ... I want you to know
As long as I've got the dough                                 That deep down inside of me...

I'll buy ... your tchotchkes                                  You are ... my fire
Sell me ... your watch, please                                The one ... desire
I'll buy (I'll buy, I'll buy, I'll buy ...)                   You are...
I'm highest bidder!                                           All (You are, You are, You are...)

Junk keeps arriving in the mail                               Don't wanna hear you say:
From that worldwide garage sale
Hey! A Dukes Of Hazzard ashtray                               Ain't nothin' but a heartache
Oh yeah ... I bought it on eBay                               Ain't nothin' but a mistake.

Wanna buy a Pac Man Fever lunchbox                            Nick(Don't wanna hear you say)
Wanna buy a case of vintage tube socks
Wanna buy a Kleenex used by Dr. Dre                           I never wanna hear you say:
Found them on eBay
.                                                             (Aww, yeah)
Wanna buy that Farrah Fawcett poster
Pez dispensers and a toaster
Don't know why ... the kind of stuff you'd throw away
I'll buy on eBay                                              I want it that way ...

What I bought on eBay-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y                       Cuz I want it that way




Girls Just Want To Have Lunch : Girls Just Want To Have Fun {Cyndi Lauper}

Some girls like to buy new shoes                              I come home in the morning light
And others like drivin' trucks and wearing tattoos            my mother says when you gonna live your life right
There's only one thing that they all like a bunch             oh mother dear we're not the fortunate ones
Oh, girls, they wanna have lunch                              and girls just want to have fun
Oh, girls, they just wanna have lunch                         oh girls just want to have fun

I know how to keep a woman satisfied                          the phone rings in the middle of the night
When I whip out my Diner's Card their eyes get so wide        my father yells what you gonna do with your life
They're always in the mood for something to munch             oh daddy dear you know you're still number one
Oh, girls, they wanna have lunch                              but girls they want to have fun
Oh, girls just wanna have                                     oh girls just want to have

That's all they really want                                   that's all they really want
Some lunch                                                    some fun
Don't ask 'em to dinner or breakfast or brunch                when the working day is done
'Cause girls, they wanna have lunch                           girls-- they want to have fun
Oh, girls just wanna have lunch                               oh girls just want to have fun

She eats like she got a hole in her neck                      some boys take a beautiful girl
And I'm the one that always gets stuck with the check         and hide her away from the rest of the world
Can't figure out how come they don't weigh a ton              I want to be the one to walk in the sun
Oh, girls, they wanna have lunch                              oh girls they want to have fun
Oh, girls just wanna have                                     oh girls just want to have

That's all they really want                                   that's all they really want
Is some lunch                                                 some fun
Don't know for certain, but I've got a hunch                  when the working day is done
Those girls, they wanna have lunch                            girls--they want to have fun
Oh, girls just wanna have lunch                               oh girls just want to have fun

They just wanna                                               They just wanna
They just wanna                                               They just wanna




(This Song's Just) Six Words Long : Got My Mind Set On You {George Harrison}

This song's just six words long
This song's just six words long
This song's just six words long
This song's just six words long
Couldn't think of any lyrics
No, I never wrote the lyrics
So I'll just sing any old lyrics
That come to mind, child
You really need words
Whole lotta rhyming words
You gotta rhyme so many words, mm...
To do it, to do it, to do it, to do it
To do it, to do it right, child

This song's just six words long
This song's just six words long
This song's just six words long
This song's just six words long

I know that you're probably sore
'Cause I didn't write any more
I just didn't get to complete it
So that's why I gotta repeat it

This song's just six words long (six words long)
This song's just six words long (six words long)

Oh I make a lotta money
They pay me a ton of money
They're payin' me plenty of money
To sing this song, child
I gotta fill time
Three minutes worth of time
Oh, how will I fill so much time? Mm...
I'll throw in a solo, a solo, a solo
A solo, a solo here

This song's just six words long
This song's just six words long
This song's just six words long
This song's just six words long

This song's got nothing to say
But I'm recording it anyway
I know if I put my mind to it
I know I could find a good rhyme here

Oh, you gotta have-a music
You need really catchy music
This song has got plenty of music
But just six words, child
And so I'll sing 'em over
And over and over and over
And over and over and over, mm...
And over and over and over
And over and over and over again




Alimony : Mony Mony {Tommy James & The Shondells}

Here she come now, wants her alimony                          Here she come down, say "Mony, Mony"
Bleedin' me dry as a bony bony                                Well, shoot 'em down, turn around, come home, honey
Work at three jobs just to stay in debt now                   Hey!, she gimme love an' I feel alright now
Well first she took my nest egg, then she took the nest       Everybody! You got me tossin' turnin' in the night, make me
I said yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah                           feel alright
.                                                             I say yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
'Cause she took my house...my car                             yeah, yeah, yeah
My shoes...and my toothbrush too                              Well you make me feel Mony, Mony
Too bad...so sad                                              So Mony, Mony
A-she got...got the gift of grab                              Good Mony, Mony
I'm in debt, debt, debt, debt, debt, debt                     Yeah! Mony, Mony
.                                                             So good! Mony, Mony
Lawyer's callin' me on the telephony                          Oh, yeah! Mony, Mony
Tryin'-a squeeze-a blood from a stony stony                   Come on! Mony, Mony
Ooh, I took her for better or for worse, yeah                 All right, baby! Mony, Mony
Then she took me for everything, yeah everything              Say yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
She could get, get, get, get, get                             yeah, yeah, yeah
.                                                             Break 'dis, shake 'dis, Mony, Mony
Well I'm out of cash...no dough                               Shot gun, get it done, come on, honey
I'm broke...it's no joke                                      Don't stop cookin', it feels so good, yeah
The check's in the mail...get off                             Hey! Well don't stop now, hey, come on Mony, well come on
My back...cut me some slack                                   I say yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
I said yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah                           yeah, yeah, yeah
.                                                             Well you make me feel Mony, Mony
(Ooh, I want my almo-mo-mony)  Oh you do?                     So Mony, Mony
(Ooh, I want my almo-mo-mony)  Is it due?                     Good Mony, Mony
(Ooh, I want my almo-mo-mony)  Or you'll sue?                 Yeah! Mony, Mony
(Ooh, I want my almo-mo-mony)                                 So good! Mony, Mony
Alimony, mony, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.                        Oh, yeah! Mony, Mony
.                                                             Come on! Mony, Mony
.                                                             All right, baby! Mony, Mony
.                                                             I say yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
.                                                             yeah, yeah, yeah
.                                                             Oo, I love your Mony, moan, moan, Mony
.                                                             Oo, I love your Mony, moan, moan, Mony
.                                                             Oo, I love your Mony, moan, moan, Mony
.                                                             Oo, I love your Mony, moan, moan, Mony
.                                                             I say yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
.                                                             yeah, yeah, yeah
.                                                             Come on! Mony, Mony
.                                                             Come on! Mony, Mony
.                                                             Come on! Mony, Mony
.                                                             Mony, Mony
.                                                             Mony, Mony
.                                                             Mony, Mony
.                                                             Mony, Mony




Livin' in the Fridge : Living on the Edge {Aerosmith}

There's somethin' weird in the fridge today
I don't know what it is
Food I can't recognize
My roommate won't throw a thing away
I guess it's probably his
It looks like it's alive...

And livin' in the fridge...livin' in the fridge
Livin' in the fridge...livin' in the fridge

There's somethin' gross in the fridge today
It's green and growin' hair
It's been there since July
If you can name that object
In that baggie over there
Then mister, you're a better man than I

It's livin' in the fridge
You can't stop the mold from growin'
Livin' in the fridge
Can't tell what it is at all
Livin' in the fridge
You can't stop the mold from growin'
Livin' in the fridge

Tell me do you think it should be carbon-dated
Fumigated or cremated and buried at sea?
You try to save a little bit of your home cookin'
Couple weeks later, got a scary-lookin' specimen
It always happens, my friend
Again and again and again and again

Somethin' stinks in the fridge today
And it's been rottin' there all week
It could be liver cake or woolly mammoth steak
Well, maybe I should take another peek...

Livin' in the fridge
You can't stop the mold from growin'
Livin' in the fridge
Can't tell what it is at all
Livin' in the fridge
You can't stop the mold from growin'
Livin' in the fridge
Livin' in the fridge
Don't know what it is, don't know what it is
Livin' in the fridge
Don't know what it is, don't know what it is
Livin' in the fridge
Don't know what it is at all
Livin' in the fridge, yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah




Cavity Search : Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me {U2}

Listenin' to the Muzak                                        You don't know how you took it
Hearin' people scream                                         You just know what you got
Sittin' in the waiting room                                   Oh Lordy you've been stealing
Readin' crappy magazines                                      From the thieves and you got caught
With a toothache                                              In the headlights
This is it, pal                                               Of a stretch car
Root canal                                                    You're a star

My molars are impacted                                        Dressing like your sister
I'm gettin' gum disease                                       Living like a tart
I'm gonna need some fillings                                  They don't know what you're doing
Got twelve cavities                                           Babe, it must be art
Can you help me                                               You're a headache
Have mercy                                                    In a suitcase
Doctor, please                                                You're a star

My teeth are a fright                                         Oh no, don't be shy
Got a huge overbite                                           You don't have to go blind
Numb me, drill me                                             Hold me, thrill me
Floss me, bill me                                             Kiss me, kill me

You jab at my nerve endings                                   You don't know how you got here
It's driving me insane                                        You just know you want out
just give me nitrous oxide                                    Believing in yourself
Shoot me up with novocaine                                    Almost as much as you doubt
Help me out here                                              You're a big smash
'Cause I'm in severe                                          You wear it like a rash
Pain                                                          Star

Please stop for a bit                                         Oh no, don't be shy
Now let me rinse and spit                                     It takes a crowd to cry
Numb me, drill me                                             Hold me, thrill me
Floss me, bill me                                             Kiss me, kill me

You validate my parking                                       They want you to be Jesus
I think that I'm okay                                         They'll go down on one knee
But you make one more appointment for                         But they'll want their money back
A week from Saturday                                          If you're alive at thirty-three
'Cause you came upon                                          And you're turning tricks
A little problem on                                           With your crucifix
My x-ray                                                      You're a star
Oy vey!                                                       (Oh child)

It's getting absurd                                           Of course you're not shy
Well, I hope I'm insured, now                                 You don't have to deny love
Numb me, drill me                                             Hold me, thrill me
Floss me, bill me                                             Kiss me, kill me




Syndicated Inc. : Misery {Soul Asylum}

My whole family loves "Three's Company"                       They say misery loves company
See the reruns constantly there on my TV                      We could start a company and make misery
Syndicated Incorporated                                       Frustrated, Incorporated

Well, I know what's on the tube                               Well I know just what you need
I know just what to see                                       I might just have the thing
Got my TV Guide with me                                       I know what you'd pay to see

"MASH" and "All in The Family"                                Put me out of my misery
"The Munsters" and "Mayberry R.F.D."                          I'd do it for you, would you do it for me
I will always be busy Watching my TV                          We will always be busy making misery

Oprah Winfrey talks to me every day at three                  We could build a factory and make misery
Then soon it'll be "Wheel" and "Jeopardy"                     We'll create the cure; we made the disease

Syndicated Incorporated                                       Frustrated, Incorporated
Syndicated Incorporated                                       Frustrated, Incorporated
Well, I'm in such ecstasy                                     Well I know just what you need
When I'm watchin' TV                                          I might just have the thing
I'm a boob tube devotee                                       I know what you'd pay to feel

Think I'm losin' my sanity                                    Put me out of my misery
I'm addicted to Regis & Kathie Lee                            All you suicide kings and you drama queens
Forever I will always be glued to my TV                       Forever after happily, making misery

Love "The Partridge Family" and "Dynasty"                     Did you satisfy your greed, get what you need
And "Laverne & Shirley" and "Hard Copy"                       Was it only envy, so empty

Syndicated Incorporated                                       Frustrated, Incorporated
Syndicated Incorporated                                       Frustrated, Incorporated
Syndicated Incorporated ("MASH" and "All In The Family")      Frustrated, Incorporated (put me out of my misery)
Syndicated Incorporated (Addicted to Regis & Kathie Lee)      Frustrated, Incorporated (I'd do it for you, would you do it for me)
Syndicated Incorporated (Forever I will always be)            Frustrated, Incorporated (forever after happily)
Syndicated Incorporated (Watching my TV)                      Frustrated, Incorporated (making misery)
Syndicated Incorporated (Think I'm losing my sanity)
Syndicated Incorporated




The Brady Bunch : Safety Dance {Men Without Hats}

You can watch Mister Rogers                                   We can dance if we want to
You can watch Three's Company                                 We can leave your friends behind
And you can turn on Fame                                      'Cause your friends don't dance
Or the Newlywed Game                                          And if they don't dance
Or the Addams Family                                          Well they're no friends of mine

Say, you can watch Barney Miller                              Say, we can go where we want to
And you can watch your MTV                                    A place where they will never find
And you can watch till your eyes fall out of your head        And we can act like we come from out of this world
That'll be okay with me                                       Leave the real one far behind
And you can watch (TV)                                        And we can dance (and sing)

You can watch Johnny Carson                                   We can dance if we want to
You can watch Phil Donahue                                    We can leave your friends behind
And you can use TV Guide                                      'Cause your friends don't dance
To help you decide                                            And if they don't dance
With a capsulized review                                      Well they're no friends of mine

.                                                             I say, we can go where we want to
.                                                             A place where they will never find
.                                                             And we can act like we come from out of this world
.                                                             Leave the real one far behind
.                                                             And we can dance (and sing)

.                                                             Francois!

Say, you can watch Sixty Minutes                              Ah we can go when we want to
Even Captain Kangaroo                                         The night is young and so am I
But there's only one set                                      And we can dress real neat
So whatever you watch                                         From our hats to our feet
Well you know I gotta watch it too                            And surprise 'em with the victory cry

.                                                             I say we can act if want to
.                                                             If we don't nobody will
.                                                             And you can act real rude and totally removed
.                                                             And I can act like an imbecile
A-say, give it up                                             I say we can dance, we can dance everything out control

Give it up, give it up                                        We can dance, we can dance we're doing it wall to wall
Television's takin' its toll                                  We can dance, we can dance everybody look at your hands
That's enough                                                 We can dance, we can dance everybody takin' the chance
That's enough.                                                Safety dance
Gimme the remote control                                      Oh well the safety dance
.                                                             Ah yes the safety dance
I've been nice
I've been good                                                Ssss-Aaaa-Ffff-Eeee-Tttt-Yyyy
Please don't do this to me                                    Safety-Dance
Turn it off
Turn it off                                                   We can dance if we want to, we've got all your life and mine
I don't wanna have to see                                     As long as we abuse it, never gonna lose it
The Brady Bunch                                               Everything'll work out right
Not the Brady Bunch                                           I say, we can dance if we want to we can leave your friends behind
Well, the Brady Bunch                                         Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance
Yeah, the Brady Bunch                                         Well they're no friends of mine
.                                                             I say we can dance, we can dance everything out control
It's the story of a lovely lady                               We can dance, we can dance we're doing it wall to wall
Who was bringing up three very lovely girls                   We can dance, we can dance everybody look at your hands
All of them had hair of gold                                  We can dance, we can dance everybody's takin' the chance
Like their mother                                             Oh Well the safety dance
The youngest one in curls                                     ah yes the safety dance
.                                                             Oh well the safety dance
It's the story of a man named Brady                           Oh well the safety dance
Who was busy with three boys of his own                       Oh yes the safety dance
They were four men living all together                        Oh the safety dance yeah
A-yeah, but they were all alone                               Oh it's the safety dance
.                                                             It's the safety dance
Till then one day                                             Well it's the safety dance
A-one day                                                     Oh it's the safety dance
When the lady met this fellow                                 Oh it's the safety dance
And they knew                                                 Oh it's the safety dance
And they knew
It was much more than a hunch
That the group
A-this group
Must somehow form a family
That's the way
That's the way
That's the way they all became the Brady Bunch

Well, the Brady Bunch
Yeah, the Brady Bunch
Well, the Brady Bunch
Oh, it's the Brady Bu-unch...




Theme From Rocky XIII : Eye Of The Tiger

Fat and weak, what a disgrace                                 Risin' up, back on the street
Guess the champ got too lazy                                  Did my time, took my chances
Ain't gonna fly now, he's just takin' up space                Went the distance, now I'm back on my feet
Sold his gloves, threw his eggs down the drain                Just a man and his will to survive

But he's no bum, he works down the street                     So many times, it happens too fast
He bought the neighborhood deli                               You change your passion for glory
Back on his feet, now he's choppin' up meat                   Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past
Come inside, maybe you'll hear him say                        You must fight just to keep them alive

Try the rye or the kaiser                                     It's the eye of the tiger
They're on special tonight                                    It's the cream of the fight
If you want, you can have an appetizer                        Risin' up to the challenge of our rival
You might like our salami, and the liver's all right          And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night
And they'd really go well with the rye                        And he's watchin' us all in the eye
Or the kaiser                                                 Of the tiger

Never eats while on the job                                   Face to face, out in the heat
He heard it's good to stay hungry                             Hangin' tough, stayin' hungry
But he makes a pretty mean shish kabob                        They stack the odds 'til we take to the street
Have a taste, they were made fresh today                      For we kill with the skill to survive

Try the rye or the kaiser                                     It's the eye of the tiger
Or the wheat or the white                                     It's the cream of the fight
Maybe I can suggest an appetizer                              Risin' up to the challenge of our rival
Stay away from the tuna, it smells funny tonight              And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night
But you just can't go wrong with the rye                      And he's watchin' us all in the eye
Or the kaiser                                                 Of the tiger

So today, his deli comes first                                Risin' up, straight to the top
Still he dreams of his past days of glory                     Have the guts, got the glory
Goes in the back and beats up on the liverwurst               Went the distance, now I'm not gonna stop
All the while you can still hear him say                      Just a man and his will to survive

It's the rye or the kaiser                                    It's the eye of the tiger
It's the thrill of one bite                                   It's the cream of the fight
Let me please be your catering advisor                        Risin' up to the challenge of our rival
If you want substitutions, I won't put up a fight             And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night
You can have your roast beef on the rye                       And he's watchin' us all in the eye
Or the kaiser                                                 Of the tiger

The rye or the kaiser                                         The eye of the tiger
The rye or the kaiser                                         The eye of the tiger
The rye or the kaiser                                         The eye of the tiger




I Can't Watch This : U Can't Touch This {M.C. Hammer}

I can't watch this. I can't watch this
I can't watch this. I can't watch this

My my my my TV makes me so bored
Makes me say oh my Lord
What is this garbage here?
Wanna cover my eyes and plug my ears
It sucks, and that's no lie
It's about as much fun as watching paint dry
Lowers my IQ one notch
And that's the reason why, uh, I can't watch

I told you homeboy...I can't watch this
Yeah, nothin' but trash and you know
I can't watch this
Poke out my eyes, man...I can't watch this
Yo, gimme that remote control...I can't watch this

Talkin' bout sick shows
There's America's Funniest Home Videos
I can't believe my eyes
When I see the kind of stuff that wins first prize
Somebody's poor old mom
Falls down off the roof, lands right on  the lawn
Face first on a rake
I hear they got it on the seventeenth take
That's funny as a kick in the crotch
And that kinda show, uh, I can't watch

Yo, I told you...I can't watch this
Change the channel now, man...I can't watch this
Yo, pass the TV Guide over here, sucker...I can't watch this

Cosby show and Roseanne
Think I've taken 'bout as much as I can
Judge Wopner, oh my
You gotta be Rainman to like this guy
Thirtysomething's all right
If you like hearing yuppies whining all night
Can't stand Twin Peaks
Wish they'd lynch those donut-eatin' freaks
Those Siskel and Ebert bums
Oughtta go home and just sit on their thumbs

That's word because you now...I can't watch this
I can't watch this
Break it down!

Here's how to order-money back guarantee-
Removes tough stains fast-it tastes more like fresh peanuts-
They keep going and going-don't hate me because I'm beautiful-
Could be dandruff-our prices are insaaaane!!!

Stop! Prime time!
I'm pretty sure I'll be sick
If I have to watch another stupid pet trick
Or that guy with the real flat hair
That goes "woof woof woof" and waves
His fist in the air
Or those weird talk shows
About transsexual Nazi Eskimos
They're rude, and crude and vile
Just for a minute let's flip down the dial

Flip, flip, flip...yecch, I can't watch this
Look, man, I can't watch this
I can't take this torture no more, I can't
I can't watch this
Pay the bills, station break
Break it down!

Operators are standing by-cubic zirconium necklace-
You're soaking in it-and our fabulous swimsuit issue-
When you've got a headache this big-read the book-
this is your brain on drugs-I've fallen and I can't get up!!!

Stop! Cable time!
HBO and Playboy, Showtime and MTV
I might like them more after my lobotomy
Now why did I ever pay for this junk?
I hooked up eighty channels, and each one stunk
Just brainless blood and guts, and mindless T & A
It's awful, it's putrid, it's crummy, it's stupid, gonna
Throw my set away

I can't watch this, I can't watch this
I can't watch this, yeah...I can't watch this
I told you...can't watch this
Too hip, can't watch this
Get me outta here...can't watch this




Stop Draggin' My Car Around : Stop Draggin' My Heart Around {Stevie Nicks with Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers}

Had to park my car for just five minutes                      Baby you come knocking on my front door
I had to go inside to use the phone                           Same old line you used to use before
When I came back again, my car was gone                       Just a girl well what am I supposed to do
Well, I didn't know it was a loading zone                     I didn't know what I was getting into
What a bummer, I as so brought down                           So you had a little trouble in town
I had to chase that tow truck a over town, yellin'            Now you're keeping some demon down

Stop draggin' my                                              Stop dragging my
Stop draggin' my                                              Stop dragging my
Stop draggin' my car around                                   Stop dragging my heart around

Took my baby to the local disco                               It's hard to think about what you wanted
I was jumpin' like a maniac                                   It's hard to think about what you lost
But the owner came and pulled me off the floor                These doors don't have to be the big "get even"
Then he took me to his little office in the back              These doors don't have to be anything at all
He said, "I really like your snaggletooth necklace            I know you really want to tell me goodbye
Your pants are groovy, and your hair's okay                   I know you really want to be your own girl
But, man, that car of yours is so uncool                      Baby you could never look me in the eye
Like wow, I'm sorry, but we towed it away!"                   Yeah you buckle with the weight of the world

Stop draggin' my                                              Stop dragging my
Stop draggin' my                                              Stop dragging my
Stop draggin' my car around                                   Stop dragging my heart around

Now I'm at home.  I'm watchin' "Gilligan's Island"            There's people running 'round loose in the world
Guess it's time to trade my old car in                        Ain't got nothing better to do
For twenty dollars and my '64 Plymouth                        Make a meal of some bright eyed kid
Maybe I could get a second-hand Schwinn                       You need someone looking after you
Look out the window, there's a tow truck in the driveway      I know you really want to tell me goodbye
I grabbed the driver and I asked him why                      I know you really want to be your own girl
He said, "I'm sorry, kid, you're late with the payments       Baby you could never look me in the eye
It's time to kiss your little car goodbye"                    Yeah you buckle with the weight of the world

Stop draggin' my                                              Stop dragging my
Stop draggin' my                                              Stop dragging my
Stop draggin' my car around                                   Stop dragging my heart around

Listen, the check's in the mail.  No, really!
Stop draggin' my car around!                                  Stop dragging my heart around
Oh man, I just had the hub caps painted!                      Stop dragging my heart around
Stop draggin' my car around!                                  Stop dragging my heart around
Hey!  Hey, I left a sandwich in the back seat!                Stop dragging my heart around




The White Stuff : You Got It (The Right Stuff) {New Kids On The Block}

The white stuff                                               The right stuff
The white stuff                                               The right stuff

The first one was a sweet one                                 First time was a great time
Second one was a blast                                        Second time was a blast
Soon I finished off the bag                                   Third time I fell in love
Ate 'em up real fast                                          Now I hope it lasts
You can see 'em in my teeth                                   I can see it in your walk
Tell it when I talk                                           Tell 'em when you talk
Had so many my pancreas                                       See it in everything you do
Just went into shock                                          Even in your thoughts

I love the white stuff baby                                   You got the right stuff, baby
In the middle of an Oreo                                      Love the way you turn me on
I love the white stuff baby                                   You got the right stuff, baby
It's the most delicious thing I know                          You're the reason why I sing this song

I've had a zillion or two                                     All that I needed was you
In my life, they're so right                                  Oh girl, you're so right
My teeth are all rotted clear thruough                        Said all that I wanted was you
But who cares? Whaat else am I supposed to do?                You made all my dreams come true

[chorus 2]
Oh oh oh oh oh, oh Oreo                                       Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh oh oh oh oh, the white stuff                               Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the right stuff
Oh oh oh oh oh, oh Oreo                                       Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
What's in the middle? The white stuff                         Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the right stuff

The first time that I tried it                                Your first kiss was a sweet kiss
Got a big sugar buzz                                          Second kiss had a twist
Nothing gets me high as that sandwich cookie does             Third and your fourth kiss, I don't want to miss
But I love the filling most                                   I can see it in your walk
I rub it on my roast                                          Tell 'em when you talk
Mix it in with my coffee                                      See it in everything you do
And spread it on my toast                                     Even in your thoughts

[chorus]

Might get a pimple or two                                     All that I needed was you
Well, so what? It's all right                                 Oh girl, you're so right
Now Twinkies and Ding Dongs won't do                          Said all that I wanted was you
All I need...You know what it is                              You made all.... every one of my dreams come true

[chorus 2]




Addicted to Spuds : Addicted to Love {Robert Palmer}

Potato skins, potato cakes                                    Your lights are on, but you're not home
Hash browns and instant flakes                                Your mind is not your own
Baked or boiled or french fried                               Your heart sweats, your body shakes
There's no kind you haven't tried                             Another kiss is what it takes

You planned a trip to Idaho                                   You can't sleep, you can't eat
Just to watch potatoes grow                                   There's no doubt, you're in deep
I understand how you must feel                                Your throat is tight, you can't breathe
I can't deny they've got a peel                               Another kiss is all you need

Wo, you like 'em whether they're plain                        Whoa, you like to think that you're immune
Or they're stuffed, oh yeah                                   to the stuff, oh yeah
Better face the facts                                         It's closer to the truth to say
It seems you can't get enough                                 You can't get enough, you know
You know, you're gonna have to face it                        You're gonna have to face it
You're addicted to spuds                                      You're addicted to love

Your greasy hands, your salty lips                            You see the signs, but you can't read
Looks like you found the chips                                You're runnin' at a different speed
Your belly aches, your teeth grind                            Your heart beats in double time
Some tater tots would blow your mind                          Another kiss and you'll be mine, a one track mind

And you don't mind if they're not cooked                      You can't be saved
You need your fix, I guess you're hooked                      Oblivion is all you crave
And late at night you always dream                            If there's some left for you
Of bacon bits and sour cream                                  You don't mind if you do

Wo, you like 'em even if they're lumpy or tough, oh yeah
It's pretty obvious to me you can't get enough
You know you're gonna have to face it, you're addicted to spuds

Might as well face it, you're addicted to spuds
Might as well face it, you're addicted to spuds
Might as well face it, you're addicted to spuds
Might as well face it, you're addicted to spuds
Might as well face it, you're addicted to spuds

I'm giving up, it's just no use
Another case of spud abuse
What can I say, what can I do
Potato bug has got me, too

Wo, I used to hate 'em, now they're all that I eat, oh yeah
I've often seen 'em whipped, but they just can't be beat
Now I'm gonna have to face it, I'm addicted to spuds




Ode to a Superhero : Piano Man {Billy Joel}

Poor Peter Parker was pitiful                                 It's nine o'clock on a Saturday
Couldn't have been any shyer                                  The Regular crowd shuffles in
Mary Jane still wouldn't notice him                           There's an old man sitting next to me
Even if his hair was on fire                                  Makin' love to his tonic and gin

But then one day he went to that science lab                  He says, "Son, can you play me a memory
That mutated spider came down                                 I'm not really sure how it goes
Oh, and now Peter crawls over everyone's walls                But it's sad and it's sweet and I knew it complete
And he's swingin' all over town                               When I wore a younger man's clothes"

La li la, li de da                                            La la la, de de da
La la, li le la da dum                                        La la, de de da da dum

[chorus]                                                      [chorus]
Sling us a web, you're the Spider-Man                         Sing us a song, you're the piano man
Sling us a web tonight                                        Sing us a song tonight
'Cause we're all in the mood for a hero now                   Well, we're all in the mood for a melody
And there's evildoers to fight                                And you've got us feelin' alright

Now Harry the rich kid's a friend of his                      Now John at the bar is a friend of mine
Who horns in on Mary Jane                                     He gets me my drinks for free
But to his great surprise it seems she prefers guys           And he's quick with a joke or to light up your smoke
Who can kiss upside down in the rain                          But there's someplace that he'd rather be

"With great power comes great responsibility"                 He says, "Bill, I believe this is killing me."
That's the catch phrase of old Uncle Ben                      As the smile ran away from his face
If you missed it, don't worry, they'll say the line           "Well I'm sure that I could be a movie star
Again and again and again                                     If I could get out of this place"

Oh, la la la, di de da                                        Oh, la la la, de de da
La la, di di da da dom                                        La la, de de da da dum

Now Norman's a billionare scientist                           Now Paul is a real estate novelist
Who never had time for his son                                Who never had time for a wife
But then something went screwy and before you knew he         And he's talkin' with Davy, who's still in the navy
Was trying to kill everyone                                   And probably will be for life

And he's ridin' around on that glider thing                   And the waitress is practicing politics
And he's throwin' that weird pumpkin bomb                     As the businessmen slowly get stoned
Yes, he's wearin' that dumb Power Rangers mask                Yes, they're sharing a drink they call loneliness
But he's scarier without it on                                But it's better than drinkin' alone

Sling us a web, you're the Spider-Man                         Sing us a song, you're the piano man
Sling us a web tonight                                        Sing us a song tonight
'Cause you're brave and you're strong and so limber now       Well, we're all in the mood for a melody
But where'd you come up with those tights?                    And you've got us feelin' alright

It's a pretty sad day at the funeral                          It's a pretty good crowd for a Saturday
Norman Osborn has bitten the dust                             And the manager gives me a smile
And I heard Harry's said he wants Spider-Man dead             'Cause he knows that it's me they've been comin' to see
Aw, but his buddy Pete he can trust                           To forget about life for a while

Oh, and M.J. is all hot for Peter now                         And the piano, it sounds like a carnival
Aw, but Peter, he just shuts her down                         And the microphone smells like a beer
Mary Jane, don't you cry, you can give it a try               And they sit at the bar and put bread in my jar
Again when the sequel comes 'round                            And say, "Man, what are you doin' here."

Oh, la la la, di de da                                        Oh, la la la, de de da
La la, di di da da dom                                        La la, de de da da dum

Sling us a web, you're the Spider-Man                         Sing us a song, you're the piano man
Sling us a web tonight                                        Sing us a song tonight
'Cause we all sure could use us a hero now                    Well, we're all in the mood for a melody
And we think that you'll do all right                         And you've got us feelin' alright




She Drives Like Crazy : She Drives Me Crazy {Fine Young Cannibals}

Where'd you learn how to steer?                               I can't stop the way I feel
You do eighty in second gear                                  Things you do don't seem real
When you drive, I can't relax                                 Tell you what I got in mind
Got your license from Cracker Jacks                           'cause we're runnin' out of time
You just hit another tree                                     Won't you ever set me free?
These fender benders are killin' me                           This waitin' 'round's killin' me

She drives like crazy                                         She drives me crazy
Like no one else                                              Like no one else
She drives like crazy                                         She drives me crazy
And I'm afraid for myself                                     And I can't help myself

They'll put you behind bars                                   I can't get any rest
We're not playin' bumper cars                                 People say I'm obsessed
Did a great figure eight                                      Everything that's serious lasts
In the middle of the Interstate                               But to me there's no surprise
Tires squeal wherever we go                                   What I have, I knew was true
Even hitchhikers just say no                                  Things go wrong, they always do

She drives like crazy                                         [chorus]
Her car's a mess
She drives like crazy
She's got a death wish, I guess

She's a demon behind the wheel                                I won't make it on my own
Thinks she's drivin' the Batmobile                            No one likes to be alone
Burnin' rubber in school zones
Runnin' over traffic cones
Passin' semis on the right
Now my knuckles are turnin' white

She drives like crazy                                         [chorus]
She'll break our necks
She drives like crazy
She always gets into wrecks

She drives like crazy                                         [chorus]
Like no one else
She drives like crazy
Now I'm afraid for myself




Spam : Stand {R.E.M.}

Spam in the place where I live. (ham and pork)
Think about nutrition, wonder what's inside it now. (oh boy)
Spam in my lunchbox at work. (it's the best)
Really makes a darn good sandwich, any way you slice it at all.

If you're running low, go to the store
Carry some money to help you buy more
The tab is there to open the can
The can is there to hold in the spam

Oh, spam on the table at home. (ham and pork)
Think about selection, are there different flavors now. (let's eat)
Spam in my office at work. (it's the best)
Think about the stuff it's made from, wonder if it's mystery meat.

If you need a spoon, keep one around
Carry a thermos to help wash it down
Now if there's some left, don't just throw it out
Use it for spackle or bathroom grout, now

Spam in my pantry at home. (have some more)
Think of expiration, better read the label now. (oh boy)
Spam breakfast, dinner or lunch. (it's the best)
Think about how it's been pre-cooked, wonder if I'll just eat it cold.

Now once you start in, you can't put it down
Don't leave it sitting or it'll turn brown
The key is going to open the tin
The tin is there to keep the spam in

Oh spam, spam. (ham and pork)
Think about nutrition, wonder what's inside it now. (oh boy)
Spam, spam. (it's the best)
Really makes a darn good sandwich any way you slice it
Spam in the place where I live. (have some more)
Think about addiction, wonder if I'm a junkie now. (let's eat)
Spam in the place where I work. (you're obsessed)
Think about the way it's processed, wonder if it's some kind of meat
Spam in the back of my car. (ham and pork)
The tab is there to open the can. (spam any place that you are)
The can is there to open the spam. (spam any place that you are)
Oh spam.




Grapefruit Diet : Zoot Suit Riot {Cherry Poppin' Daddies}

Who's that waddlin' down the street                    Who's that whisperin' in the trees
It's just me 'cause I love to eat                      It's two sailors and they're on leave
Fudge and Twinkies and deviled ham                     Pipes and chains and swingin' hands
Who's real flabby? Yes, I am!                          Who's your daddy? Yes I am
Every picture of me's                                  Fat cat came to play
Gotta be an aerial view                                Now he can't run fast enough
Now my doctor tells me                                 You had best stay away
There's just one thing left to do                      When the pushers come to shove

Grapefruit Diet                                        Zoot Suit Riot
Throw out the pizza and beer                           Throw back a bottle of beer
Grapefruit Diet                                        Zoot Suit Riot
Oh, get those jelly donuts out of here                 Pull a comb through your coal black hair
Grapefruit Diet
Might seem a little severe
Grapefruit Diet
I'm gettin' tired of my big fat rear
Blow, fatty!

Well, I used to live on chocolate sauce                A whipped up jitterbuggin' brown eyed man
Made sumo wrestlers look like Kate Moss                A stray cat frontin' up an eight-piece band
Walked down an alley and I got stuck                   Cut me Sammy and you'll understand
I got more rolls than a pastry truck                   In my veins hot music ran
When I'm all done eating                               You got me in a sway
I eat a little more                                    And I want to swing with you dove
When I leave a room                                    Now you sailors know
First I gotta grease the door                          Where your women come for love

Grapefruit Diet
Can't have another eclair
Grapefruit Diet
I gotta decrease my derriere

I'm on a Grapefruit Diet
I'm on a Grapefruit Diet
I'm on a Grapefruit Diet

No more pie now
No more creme brulee
Lay off the gravy
And souffle
No french fri-yi-yies now
No ice cream parfait
Mr. Cheese Nacho
Stay away

Oh I think I'd sell my soul
For a triple patty melt
But I need a boomerang
When I put on my belt

Grapefruit Diet
Lay off the 3 Musketeers
Grapefruit Diet
Until my big booty disappears
Grapefruit Diet
Eat 'em till they're comin' out of my ears
Grapefruit Diet
'Cause I haven't seen my feet in years

I'm on a Grapefruit Diet
I'm on a Grapefruit Diet
I'm on a Grapefruit Diet

I think I'm about ready for a Quarter Pounder with extra cheese
I need a side order of onion rings
And don't forget to Super-Size that




I Was Only Kidding

When I said I'd be faithful
When I promised I'd be true
When I swore that I could never
Be with anyone but you
When I told you that I loved you
With those tender words I spoke
I was only kidding
Now, can't you take a joke?

When I said that I need you, baby
When I told you I really care
When I said that I can't live without you
When I said I'd follow you anywhere
When I said you could always trust me
When I said I'd never leave you flat
Well, guess what? I was only kidding, baby
I can't belieeeeeve you fell for that!
You're so gullible...

[chorus]
(I was only kidding) I was only kidding
(I was only kidding) I was only kidding
I was only kidding
Now I'm sorry if you misunderstood, but the fact remains
(I was only kidding) I was only kidding
(I was only kidding) I was only kidding
Well I guess I got you pretty good, now listen

When I said that I love you baby
From the very bottom of my heart
When I said that I miss you so badly
Every second that we're apart
When I swore that you're just getting
More and more beautiful every day
Well, I was only kidding, honey
What's the matter with you anyway?
Let me tell you something

[chorus 2]
Well I guess it probably hurts you a bit
But you gotta know
I really love you...NOT!

When I said you oughta marry me
When I said that we should settle down
Well, I was pullin' your leg there, honey
I was just foolin' around
You see, I-I never meant to upset you, darlin'
I never meant to hurt anyone
I was only kidding, baby
Why don't you just put down that gun?
Let's talk this over

[chorus 2]

Watch where you're pointing that thing!
Hey, I'm sorry if your heart is broke
You gotta realize

[chorus]