Lyrics for the album "The Royal Scam" by Steely Dan

Kid Charlemagne

While the music played, you worked by candle light
Those San Fransisco Nights
You were the best in town
Just by chance you crossed the diamond with the pearl
You turned it on the world
That's when you turned the world around
Did you feel like jesus
Did you realise
That you were a champion in their eyes?

On the hill the stuff was laced with kerosene
But yours was kitchen clean
Everyone stopped to stare at your technicolor motorhome
Every A-Frame had your number on the wall
You must have had it all
You'd go to LA on dare
And you'd go it alone
Could you live forever
Could you see the day
Could you feel your whole world fall apart and fade away

Get along, get along Kid Charlemagne
Get along Kid Charlemagne

Now the patrons have all left you in the red
Your low rent friends are dead
Life can be very strange
All those dayglow freaks who used to paint the face
They've joined the human race
Somethings will never change
Son you were mistaken
You are obsolete
Look at all the white men on the street

[chorus]

Clean this mess up or else we'll all end up in jail
Those testtubes and the scale
Just get them all out of here
Is there gas in the car
Yes, there's gas in the car
I think the people down the hall
Know who you are
Careful what you carry
'cause the man is wise
You are still an outlaw in their eyes

[chorus]

Caves of Altamira

I recall, when I has small
How I spent my days alone
The busy world was not for me
So I went and found my own
I would climb the garden wall
With a candle in my hand
I'd hide inside a hall of rock and sand

On a stone an ancient hand
In a faded yellow green
Made alive a worldly wonder
Often told but never seen
Now and ever bound to labor
On the sea and in the sky
Every man and beast appeared
A friend as real as I

Before the fall when they wrote it on the wall
When there wasn't even any Hollywood
They heard the call and they wrote it on the wall
For you and me we understood

Can it be this sad design
Could be the very same?
A wooly man without a face
And a beast without a name
Nothin here but history
Can you see what has been done?
Memory rush over me
Now I step into the sun

[chorus]

Don't Take Me Alive

Agents of the law, luckless pedestrian
I know you're out there, with rage in your eyes and your megaphones
Saying all is forgiven, mad dog surrender
How can I answer, a man of my mind can do anything

I'm a bookkeeper's son
I don't want to shoot no one
Well I crossed my old man back in Oregon
Don't take me alive
Got a case of dynamite
I could hold out here all night
Yes I crossed my old man back in Oregon
Don't take me alive

Can you hear the evil crowd, the lies and the laughter
I hear my insides, the mechanized hum of another world
Where no sun is shining, no red light flashing
Here in this darkness, I know what I've done
I know all at once who I am

[chorus]

[solo]

[chorus]

Sign In Stranger

Have you heard about the boom on Mizar Five
People got to shout to stay alive
They don't even have policeman one
Doesn't matter where you been or what you've done
Do you have a dark spot on your past?
Leave it to my man he'll fix it fast
Pepe has a scar from ear to ear
He will make your mug shots disappear

You zombie, be born again my friend
Won't you sign in stranger

Do you like to take a yoyo for a ride?
Zombie I can see you're qualified
Walk around collecting Turkish Union Dues
They will call you sir and sign your shoes
Or maybe you would like to see the show
You'll enjoy the Cafe D'Escargot
Folks are in a line around the block
Just to see her do the conch-con-Jacques

You zombie, be born again my friend
Won't you sign in stranger

Love or leave her, yellow fever
Sure it's all in the game
And who are you
Just another scurvy brother

You zombie, be born again my friend
Won't you sign in stranger

The Fez

No, I'm never gonna do it without the fez on, oh no. x 2

That's what I am; Please understand
I wanna be your holy man

No, I'm never gonna do it without the fez on, oh no
Ain't never gonna do it without the fez on, oh no

That's what I am; Please understand
I wanna be your holy man

[solo]

No, I'm never gonna do it without the fez on, oh no
Don't make me do it without the fez on, oh no

That's what I am; Please understand
I wanna be your holy man

Green Earrings

Cold, daring, no flies on me
Sorry, Angel, I must take what I see

Green earrings
I remember
The rings of rare design
I remember, the look in your eyes
I don't mind

Greek medallion, sparkles when you smile
Sorry, Angel, I get hungry like a child

[chorus]
I don't mind

[solo]

[chorus]

Haitian Divorce

Babs and Clean Willie were in love they said
So in love the preacher's face turned red
Soon everybody knew the thing was dead
He shouts, she bites, they wrangle through the night
She go crazy, got to make a getaway
Papa say

Oh, no hesitation
No tears and no hearts breaking, no remorse
Oh, oh, congratulations
This is your Haitian Divorce

She takes the taxi to the good hotel
Bon marche as far as she can tell
She drinks the zombie from the coco shell
She feels alright, she get it on tonight
Mister driver, take me where the music play
Papa say

[chorus]

At the Grotto, in the greasy chair
Sits the Charlie with the lotion and the kinky hair
When she smiled, she said it all
The band was hot so
They danced the famous merango
Now we dolly back, now we fade to black

[solo]

Tearful reunion in the USA
Day by day those memories fade away
Some babies grow in a peculiar way
It changed, it grew, and everybody knew
Semi-mojo, who's this kinky so-and-so
Papa go

[chorus]

Everything You Did

Where did the Bastard run, is he still around?
Now you gotta tell me ev'rything you did baby
I'm gonna get my gun, shoot the lover down
Are you gonna tell me ev'rything you did baby
Traces are everywhere, in our happy home
Now you better tell me everything, you did baby
I jumped out of my easy chair, it was not my own
Now I want to hear about everything you did baby

I never knew you
You were a roller skater
You gonna show me later
Turn up the Eagles the neighbours are listening

You know how people talk, I wonder what they say
I think you better tell me everything you did baby

[solo]

[chorus]
You never came to me, when you were so inclined
Yes you could have told me everything, you did baby
I know where baby's at, i know your filthy mind
Now you're gonna do me everything you did baby
You did baby

Royal Scam

And they wandered in from the city
Of St John without a dime
Wearing coats that shined both red and green
Colors from their sunny island
From their boats of iron they looked upon
The promised land where surely life was sweet
On the rising tide to New York City
Did they ride into the street

See the glory
[See the glory of]
Of the royal scam

They are hounded down to the bottom
Of a bad town amid the ruins
Where they learn to fear an angry race
Of fallen kings their dark companions
While the memory of their southern sky
Was clouded by a savage winter
Every patron saint hung on the wall
Shared the room with twenty sinners

[chorus]

By the blackened wall he does it all
He thinks he's died and gone to heaven
Now the tale is told by the old man
Back home he reads the letter
How they are paid in gold just to babble
In the back room all night and waste the time
And they wandered in from the city
Of St John without a dime

[chorus]

[chorus]