They've come in, and said that Simon's told them they can use the lounge for free so long as there is a spare mac. They're also loud, obnoxious, and not particularly well-dressed. Do we really have to put up with this? And just what is the rationale behind letting them use the lounge for free? Is it just because they're friends of Simon? I don't suppose that there's any way we can get rid of them? Maybe a floating dress-standard or something?:

SUI (Science Union Idiot): Hi, can we use the lounge?

ZMG: Sure, are you guild members?

SUI: Yep.

ZMG: Okay, that'll be $1.

SUI: Oh, we're from Science Union. Simon says we don't have to pay.

ZMG: Childhood games should be left behind if enlightenment is to be achieved.

SUI: Huh?

ZMG: The lounge is autonomous. We don't play 'Simon Says" around these parts. This isn't New Zealand, you know. Now are you going to pay?

SUI: No, we're going to ring Simon. Can we use the phone.

ZMG: Go ahead.

SUI: Thanks.

ZMG: Cease your dialing activities.

SUI: But you said we could use it.

ZMG: Ah, but I did not preface that with "Simon says". You must go elsewhere to use the phone.

SUI: Fuckwit.

ZMG: The words of the unwary are apt to cause needless pain and bloody violence.

(5 minutes later the phone rings. The Master picks up the phone, puts it to his hear, winces, places it away from his ear, and lets the shouting from the esteemed Guild President batter his auditory canal. Some time later, he puts the phone down)

SUI: Ha! Now you have to let us use the lounge.

ZMG: This is true. But wait!

SUI: What now?

ZMG: I'm afraid that you fail to conform to our dress code. You'll have to change immediately.

SUI: What dress code?

ZMG: Behold the sign.

SUI: The one that says "All lounge users must be clothed in such a way so as not to offend the sensibilities of the staff member on duty?"?

ZMG: The very one. I find your taste lacking, and your style co-ordination absent. You must leave at once.

SUI: And what if we don't.

ZMG: Ah, then I get to call security, and tell them to bring mops and buckets.

SUI: Why mops and buckets?

(The Master grins, showing his teeth)


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