God must get pretty depressed about suicide. If you think about
it, God gives you this really cool present - your life - and
it's like the best mecchano or constructor set in the world.
You can make ANYTHING out of it. You could make something
completely crap, or you could make something spectacular. Or
you could fiddle around with it for ages and eventually come
up with something that maybe doesn't look as flash as some of the
other constructor projects, but that IS something that you're
happy with.
So I think about when you give someone something for
Christmas that they don't like. And they say "Oh - how
useful" whilst thinking "Bugger, I'm going to have to get that
out or put that on whenever he comes around just to make
him think I like it!". And you feel a little like a turd
sandwich because maybe you should have got them something else.
But I guess for God it's a little worse than that because
he's giving you "anything" and he's going to be there to
see you chuck your present out - and there's bugger all he
can do about it because it's your present - it's your choice -
that's the deal with presents.
I guess one of the problems is that sometimes, when the whole mecchano set is tangled up and in a mess, it's hard to see how to make anything else out of it but another mess - and the process of deconstructing so that you can reconstruct appears bloody daunting.
So how do you do it?
One piece at a time I guess. Take off the bits you REALLY
don't like, one at a time. Then work towards making something that
you DO want - or maybe, in the beginning, just making something
that's NOT what you DON'T want.
It can be a slow process and isn't simple - but none of the good presents are - or you'd get bored with them on Xmas day....