Are you Really a 'Real Bloke'?

You're going to the pub with some other blokes. Before you go, you decide that:

A. Eating is cheating
B. Last one to the floor is a girls blouse
C. First one to chunder is a girls blouse
D. It's a Red or you're dead!
E. It's "International Rules"

It's your mate's birthday. You get him:

A. A bottle of Jim Beam
B. A bottle of Jim Beam, then drink it yourself
C. A Keg of Reineck, cos he's not really your mate
D. The bottle from (B.) filled up with Reineck

You disowned your parents when they:

A. Told everyone you used to have a Viva
B. Bought you a JK-Light shirt for Xmas and told your mates
C. Were seen in the city with Knee-High Ankle socks and sandals
D. Talked about their colostomies on TV

Your car gets written off by the Insurance company as a public service after hitting 4 vans, a fire Engine and 12 Motorway pilons and sustaining a dent in the left front guard. You decide to wisely invest the money in:

A. A Lucky Dip Lotto ticket
B. Your dream car, A purple Valiant Regal with yellow flames down the side
C. A couple of jugs of Red and a Steak and Cheese maggot pack
D. A can of expensive spray-on Brut

You're in the mood to score. You plan your date to the last detail, topping it all off with the "Sure Score" factor of:

A. A couple of Dabs of Blue Stratos
B. Brut 33
C. Mortein Super (Lasts 15 Days)
D. Weasels Light Lager

Julian Clary would look 10 times better in

A. Real Bloody Clothes
B. Black and White
C. Intensive Care
D. A coffin.

It's mothers day. On the way home you stop off and pick Mum up

A. A bunch of Gardenias, her favourite
B. A Tow-Rope from the Garage
C. Presents that mean something: Vacuum Cleaner Bags and Jif
D. A Keg of Red

Your sister wants your advice about a car to get her to Uni. You tell her to get

A. Any valiant she likes
B. A P76 Leyland (Executive - "Power Everything")
C. Something you can fit a Cobie on
D. A Kingswood so the lads have a pub cruiser.

One of the blokes is down the tubes completely and getting married. The lads all pull together to see him off by getting him pissed and:

A. Shaving off his eyebrows
B. Putting him on a bus to Bulls
C. Pouring Kero down his pants and setting him on fire
D. Chaining him naked to the Pedestrian crossing in the middle of town
E. A,C,D then B, then calling his fiance and telling her he changed his mind.