The Blokes Glossary

• Barbie Barbecue. A event with a large amount of steaks and sausages, no salad, heaps of "Train Crash" and Bread and excessive amounts of accelerant.
• Bastard As in Poor ~. Some poor sod who owns a crap car.
• Bogs Toilets. Shithouse.
• Box 36 330ml cans of beer in a box. See also: Slab, Crate
• Blouse An article of woman's clothing. A non-bloke. AKA "Girls Blouse" or "Big Girls Blouse"
• Brown Nose A lesser lifeform who greases or sucks up to someone for something.
• Falcon See Holden
• Crate A dozen quart (750ml) bottles of beer. Something to knock off with the lads while the handbrake's watching Shortland Street.
• Get Hard! The battle-cry of the Bloke's Drinking Regiment. Usually follows an extended round of drinking and preceeds a 10 hour extension of another round of drinking.
• Grogan A dump. I.e. "Just off to the bogs to drop a grogan"
• Handbrake Partner. Girlfriend. Wife. As in "I'd like to come to the pub lads, but the handbrake's stuck on."
• Holden A kiwi standard Bloke-Mobile. Built like a brick Grogan-House.
• Keg 50 litres of Beer. ~ Party: A quiet night with 20 or thirty of the mates, the barbecue, half a cow-worth of steaks and enough petrol to set the neighbours place on fire. Always good to have a meal before you go.
• Lager Frenzy Results of too much beer.
• Leg-Opener Bought in glasses or bottles, usually during spade-work. Has various names (I.e. Wine Cooler, Cider, Shandy etc)
• Maggot Pack Meat Pie. Typically sold at the Petrol Station, the Public Bar (as a "Counter Lunch") or the late night Dairy..
• Mate A brother bloke. (See below)
• Never When a Bloke would admit that his handbrake was right and he was wrong
• Regal The large (and at one time expensive) model of the Valiant Ranger.
• Slab 24 330ml (or 375 if you're lucky) cans of beer in a box.
• Shandy What a bloke would never be caught drinking. Bought for a prospective handbrake during Spade Work.
• Spade Work What a Bloke puts in when he's interviewing for a new handbrake and thinks he may have a successful applicant.
• Steak A large chunk of red meat awaiting cremation on the barby as an offering to ThirdDegreeBurns, the Barby God.
• Train Crash Tomato Sauce
• Valiant See Holden
• Wuss See Blouse

'Course, along with the glossary, there are a few blokey phrases that are accepted as the everyday vernacular. Among these are:

• Mate!
- I believe you are correct
• Mate!
- I do not feel that the comment you just made about me and that woman from the fish-and-chip shop was in any way appropriate or based at all in fact.
• Mate! - Yes
• Mate! - No
• Maaate! - Thankyouverymuchforbuyinganotherround
• Maaaaaaate! - I can't BELIEVE Kirwin dropped it again.
• Oath (As in Bloody~, Blood-~ or Kin-~) I believe that I am in full agreement with what you have just proposed
• Shit ay! - That sounds like extremely bad luck. (As in:
  Bloke 1:The best eye-dog got hit by the missus when she swerved to avoid the milk tanker, then she plowed into the Regal, nudging it down the bank into the Massey Fergusson parked below which the insurance had lapsed on, which caught fire and burnt down the milking shed with my whole collection of "Popular Mechanics" in it
  Bloke 2: Shit ay. Was the Missus hurt?
  Bloke 1: Nah. Only a couple of scratches
  Bloke 2: Shit Ay.)
• Reckon? - Is that what you believe?
• Reckon! - That is what I believe too.
• Story! - Well done