True, sometimes this has a startling effect on the normal passerby, especially if it happens to be his or her Escort that you're in at the time. For this reason it is perfectly acceptable, and even common, for a Bloke to use the more traditional porcelain bog.
The typical bog scenario goes something like this:
Bloke enters bog, looks around for 'the shitter' as it is affectionately
known, taking special care not to look at any guy's dick. Unless of
course he's wandered into the ladies bogs by accident, in which case
it's probably more important not to see another Bloke's dick.
"The Shitter" is located either by spotting a door with a broken "VACANT/ENGAGED" lock on it (no-one knows how these come to be broken, but rumour has it that they are actually shipped from the factory with a broken lever, no locking latch or too few screws) OR by smell. Should the "smell" method seem to be overly indicative of the shitter direction, a Bloke might commonly be seen heading to the pub carpark with an Escort Master Key (Claw Hammer).
The Entrance
Bloke enters bog, standard routine. Shuts door. Door doesn't lock,
so one foot is in the hold-closed position, unless of course he's a master
bloke and carries a wedge around with him. Damn useful devices those wedges.
The Grogan
is dropped in silence, no groaning, no wailing or gnashing of teeth. Even
if you did happen to eat 12 of those extra hot curried eggs that Mum made for
your birthday treat. Of course, if it's a real grogan, it's not going to be
silent even if you are. It will be accompanied before, during and after by a
fanfare of epic proportions (thanks to the Pickled Onion chaser to the Eggs).
That's nothing to be ashamed of, with any luck you'll have a spare left over
to drop in the handbrake's folks place and not flush down to remind them of
how they should be more careful in describing your many faults within earshot.
The Exit
Once you've done the business it's a quick wipe and away - no point in mucking
around for hours especially if you remember that the smell can leach into your
clothes and will scare the livestock away at milking time. Of course, when
you're in a townie place, chances are they will either have that bog paper
that's so soft it breaks to bits coming off the roll (In which case you wind
it all onto the floor and use the cardboard centre) or, there's none at all.
For this reason, a bloke might carry around the political news section of the
local paper, especially the bit that has the Prime-Minister's photo on it.
Failing that, it's possible he's got change for a $10 note (two fives, no
coins) or, at absolute worst, some sandpaper (above 180 grit).
A bloke most certainly does NOT spray one of those air-fresheners about
the place like someone from the handbrake's cosmetic counter. Similarly a
bloke does not light a match, even if they are provided. Blowing the wall
off someone's crapper is not a good way to keep their friendship, especially
if they're all outside at the barby when the wall flies past.