Dear Murray,

I think my popular morning show is out looking for another job; how do I keep them here at MY station?"

signed: Nervous PD in Tulsa.

Dear Nervous;

Have lots of meetings and show them colorful charts and graphs explaining why everything that they have already been successful at REALLY ISN'T WORKING AT ALL according to YOUR research. In fact, tell them that their high ratings are a fluke and that from now on all non-music bits will be confined to 20-seconds or less. When their ratings go down as result, tell them that they have NOT EXECUTED THE FORMAT PROPERLY!

Also, offer them a pay cut on a 1-year contract, and tell then that you are taking the station in a HOT/AC direction and that they will be required to play Hootie & the Blowfish every half-hour. All this will brand them as Undesirable in the market. After they quit, hold them to the 6-year non-compete; then hire the bosses girlfriend to push buttons as you put the morning show on satellite.

When sales revenues go down as a result, blame the General Sales Manager!..... but that's a different story. Also, hire a bodyguard; you'll need one.

Good luck, Nervous! If it doesn't work out, I deny ever telling you this!

Murray The CONsultant.

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