It's amazing what some people will do if you ask 'em! It reminds us of a spring break at the beach...these really good lookin' girls were walkin by and...but that's another story.
Show us your bits is a collection of radio bits that you may not have heard before. They are here to entertain and inspire you. Some are old, some are new. All can be ripped off for use in your market. But you would never do that would you?
If your bits are better than these, send them to us! We'll listen and add the best we get. See the directions for sending your bits at the bottom of this page.
You'll need the RealAudio 2.0 Player and a browser that supports it to listen to these bits. Of course you need a sound card and speakers! Jeeeez! The RealAudio player is free and can be downloaded at www.realaudio.com You'll need to download the software, install it and then click on the bits list below to listen.
Hey! There's a listener in here! Now we've got to explain what a bit is!
What's a bit? A bit is, more often than not, a contrived effort by the DJ to do something humorous. There are good bits and there are bad bits and there are bits that totally suck but the DJ is to stupid to realize it. He laughs at himself and you change the station! This is not the desired end result of doing a bit.
DJ's do bits because they really do want to make you laugh and want you to say things like "Dang! He shore is funny!" In addition, DJ's that can make you laugh are generally paid more because more people will listen to a funny guy than a dull one. There are lots of dull ones....lots. Some of them become Program Directors and then tell others how to be funny.
The more people that listen, the higher the ratings, the higher the ratings the more the money grubbing sales people can charge for commercials and the more profit the money grubbing Station Manager and the money grubbing, social climbing, golf playing, BMW driving, convention attending, out of touch, Station Owner can make. Bottom Line: It pays to be funny and entertaining.
DJ's are also a money grubbing bunch. Therefore, with the economics of radio explained, all DJ's will try to make you laugh with....you guessed it...BITS! End of explanation....for now.
Your Bits Could Be Here!
To listen to the bits below, just click on them. We're just gettin' started here so you don't have a lot to choose from...but..what we have is good even though most of it is somewhat dated. That will change soon! We look forward to hearing your bits here so find your good stuff and get it to us.
How to use a drunk female. Tie My Sneakers...(hick).
We don't know who this is but.. Here's The Doughboy.
Here's the latest bit submitted by Ken Heron. It's time to get Cornholed!
Here's The Black Beatles with Don Imus submitted to KRUD by Billy of the John Boy and Billy Big Show.
Here's Gay Mart created by Ken Heron of ADworx Creative Services. How 'bout a price check on that KY jelly?
Here's 900 Bob... we don't know who did this. One of our engineers brought it in. We played it and nearly died laughing listening to it. You can just see this poor jerk on the phone to a 900 SEX number. Note.. this one is encoded for 28.8 RealAudio play.
Here's Dr. Gonzo screwing around at Y-95. They took him into the production studio and just started recording whatever he decided to do.
Here's some creative and possibly offensive bits by John Mammoser. This stream includes: Beverly Hillbillies 90210, LimbCrafters, Wayne's Prehistoric World, and The Terminator VS PeeWee Herman. John, you're a sick man. Wish we'd done 'em!
In the wake of the Michael Irvin drug arrest and the subsequent hidden camera video a Dallas TV station set up... here is "Marty's Watchin' Me" as heard on 570 KLIF Dallas, Texas
How do you put a 900 SEX call on the air? 1-900-EDIT Pirate Radio shows you how it's done.
How do you take a common everyday phrase like: "Don't be a dick!" and turn it into a great station promo?
Making fun of immigrants now they've gone too far!
Here's a great impersonation of Randy Travis from Y-95 in Dallas Randy Travis calls Jack Murphy.
Here's another Travis call Randy Travis calls Jack Murphy again.
Who says Public Television is not entertaining? Channel 13 Television Worth Watching
More fun from Y-95 in Dallas You Make The Call Bit 1
Here's one more for Saddam You Make The Call Bit 2
If you don't give your money to us...give it to someone Slick Hospital
As we get new bits we'll add them to the top of the list. So the newest stuff will always be at the top. Check in every now and then to see what you can stea... uh... see what's new.
So....Where's your bit? Your stuff is better than this huh?
OK, send it to the address below on cassette only. Only send the desired bit!
We don't want to wade through your air-check looking for bits!
Please make sure the audio quality is good or forget it.
No, we won't return the tape. No, you can't call us to see if we got it.
No, we don't pay for them! But...you'll be heard world wide on the web!
Send your bits to:
Funny Bits Dept.
P.O. Box 823
Coppell, TX 75019
KRUD Radio Home Page